Master

What is a Master in BDSM?

Master is the title for the leading party in a power exchange between two people. It says something about how someone is addressed, not about what happens. On a Dutch site like this one the word people actually say is Meester, which is what this page is really about; that Dutch word has been in the language for eight hundred years, and the scene uses one meaning of it.

How the title Master is used in the scene

As a word you say out loud, not a job description you write down.

The Dutch-language encyclopedia puts the word in a list: a male dominant is also called Dom, Sir, or Meester. So in Dutch the word stands next to two other forms of address, not above them. That is where it parts from the English Master, which first of all names a position in an M/s relationship.

A normal run of things: two people agree the title holds the moment the door is shut, and after that the word falls maybe five times in an evening. At a request for permission. At a correction. The article on orgasm control has exactly such a line: “Master, may I please?” That is where the word does its work.

Where the Dutch word Meester comes from

From the Latin magister, and at its earliest attestations it already meant authority.

The Etymologisch Woordenboek van het Nederlands lays the attestations out in order. In 1236 mester stands for “administrator, leader”, in 1240 for someone with a university degree, in 1285 for a teacher and for a form of address for those of higher rank, in 1285-86 for a craftsman who has passed his master’s test, and in 1287 simply for “his superior”. The origin is Vulgar Latin maester, from Classical Latin magister, derived from magis (“more”). Set against it was minister, originally “the lesser one, the servant”.

One attestation from 1270-90 stands out: meister te wesene van sir herten, to have your heart under control. So in Middle Dutch, being a master was already about yourself too.

What the word took on in weight shows in the proverbs. Stoett explains one in his collection: “Het oog van den meester maakt het paard vet”, that is, personal oversight is what makes a thing get cared for and not neglected. Authority and care sat in that one word long before anyone built a scene around it.

Why people choose Meester over Master

Because it is the language they also do their shopping in.

The pull of the Dutch word is that it is not borrowed. An English title creates distance. Meester comes out of your own mouth, and that makes it more exciting and more uncomfortable at once.

• For the one using the title, saying it works harder than hearing it. Saying the word out loud is already an act in itself.
• For the one who wears it, Meester lays down the expectation that something is actually being led. A title with no decisions behind it gives itself away faster in Dutch than in English, because everyone knows the ordinary meaning of the word.
• For a couple doing this at home it is practical. The title switches on when it is used and off when it drops away. No ceremony is needed for it.

The word is far from everyone’s taste. In Dutch, Meester is also the man at the front of the classroom, and that overtone does not wash out easily. Anyone who tries it and finds it stiff does not have a problem with the role, only with the word. Meneer, Sir, or plainly a name do the same work.

Since when Meester has also been a BDSM title

Since the early 1980s, and that can be dated.

R. Reinsma entered the word in 1984 in his Neologismen with the description: “meester (zn. m., -s) meesteres (zn. vr., -sen). Man resp. vrouw die in een sadomasochistische relatie de dominante rol heeft.”, the man or woman who holds the dominant role in a sadomasochistic relationship. He backed it with a personal ad in Vrij Nederland of 24 April 1982, in which a master of twenty-nine seeks a leather or denim slave and demands absolute obedience. The entry, with its source, is on Etymologiebank.

That dating shows the title is older in Dutch than the internet, and did not blow in from American films.

Misconceptions about the title Master

“Meester is just the translation of Master.” Not quite. Master first of all names a position within an M/s relationship. Meester, in Dutch, is above all a form of address that can hold for a single evening.

“Being called Master makes you someone’s owner.” No. Ownership lives in the agreements, and maybe in a contract, not in the word. The encyclopedia lists Meester among the forms of address, not among the relationship forms. Nor does the title say anything about intensity. Master fits an evening that is made of waiting and asking permission just as well.

“It is a strange, puffed-up word.” It is one of the plainest words Dutch has. The Dutch disambiguation page counts more than twenty meanings: schoolteacher, master of laws, guild master, chess master, railway engine driver, the third degree in freemasonry. One of them is the dominant partner in a sadomasochistic game or relationship.

What I see myself

I am Victor, a gigolo, twenty-five years in BDSM and trained as a psychotherapist. Being called Master is on my no-list. It sounds hard to me. Being addressed as Meneer, or formally, I actually like, and with me that difference is not an accident but a choice about tone.

Women who do want to try it ask for the title and then cannot get it past their lips. That is rarely from shame about BDSM and almost always from the schoolteacher that echoes in the word. Switch to Meneer, or to a name, and you notice nothing else about the evening changes.

And the classic beginner’s misconception, thinking you are doing too little as long as no title is in use. The title is the last layer, not the first.

What you can do yourself

• Say the word out loud once before you agree to it. If Meester does not work in your mouth, you will know within two seconds.
• Agree when the title holds and when it does not, for example from the moment the bedroom door shuts to the moment you put the coffee on.
• Pick a second form of address in case it pinches. Meneer, Sir, or a first name are not weaker versions.
• Ask what the other person means by the title before you use it, because for one couple Meester is an evening’s game and for the next it is a standing arrangement.

More reading on the title Master

Within this glossary, dominant describes the role beneath the title, and Dom covers the shortest of the forms of address. On the blog, a dominant gigolo shows how dominance works without any title.

Beyond this site, Etymologiebank gives all the Dutch dictionary articles on meester side by side, from Middle Dutch to the neologism list, and Stoett’s proverb collection is fully online at DBNL.

Where this fits on this site

This page explains the word. If you are looking for someone who fills the role, read on at the landing page about the SM Master or at the BDSM date. I do not let myself be called Master, so if that form of address matters to you, say so beforehand.

Sources

• meester. Etymologiebank, Instituut voor de Nederlandse Taal. Collects the Dutch dictionary articles on meester. Two of them are used here. From M. Philippa, F. Debrabandere, A. Quak, T. Schoonheim and N. van der Sijs, Etymologisch Woordenboek van het Nederlands (2003-2009): the attestations mester “administrator, leader” [1236], “scholar, someone with a university degree” [1240], “teacher” and “title and form of address for those of higher rank” [1285], “craftsman who has passed his master’s test” [1285-86], “superior, the boss” [1287], and meister te wesene van sir herten [1270-90], plus the origin in Vulgar Latin maester and Classical Latin magister, derived from magis, set against minister. From R. Reinsma, Neologismen (1984): the description “Man resp. vrouw die in een sadomasochistische relatie de dominante rol heeft” and the accompanying ad in Vrij Nederland of 24 April 1982.
• 1685. Het oog van den meester maakt het paard vet. F.A. Stoett, Nederlandsche spreekwoorden, spreekwijzen, uitdrukkingen en gezegden (1923-1925), via DBNL. The standard work on Dutch proverbs. Supplies the explanation “personal oversight is what makes a thing cared for and not neglected”, with the derivation from Xenophon’s Oeconomicus XII, 20.
• Dominant (bdsm). Wikipedia (Dutch). The Dutch-language encyclopedia entry the Meesteres lemma points to; used here only for common usage. Supplies that a male dominant is also called Dom, Sir, or Meester, and a female one Dominatrix, Meesteres, or Domme.
• Meester. Wikipedia (Dutch), disambiguation page. Supplies the more than twenty meanings the Dutch word carries. Among them schoolteacher, teacher, guild master, master of laws, chess master, engine driver on the Dutch railways, and the third degree in freemasonry. Including “the male dominant partner in a sadomasochistic game or relationship”.

Related terms

The title Meester is the Dutch word for something the scene usually names in English, and it belongs in the list of forms of address.

• Mistress. The female counterpart, Meesteres in Dutch, with its own history.
• Dominant. The role that lies beneath the title.
• Dom. The shortest form of address, and the most read.
• D/s. The power exchange such a title is used inside.
• Slave. The counter-role, with the word’s history and the question of whether you can just use it.
• Contract. Where ownership does get put in writing.
• Sir. The English word in that same list, which says nothing about ownership and marks only rank.