Safety and health
Is booking a gigolo safe?
Yes, as long as you check a few things beforehand. The real risks with a paid date are rarely violence. They are a scam, someone other than the man in the photos, and no agreement about boundaries. Ask to call or video-call, meet somewhere neutral the first time, and let someone know where you are.
Where the risks really are
Women thinking about this for the first time are usually afraid of the wrong thing. The odds of a professional harming you are small; he earns his living from repeat dates and from reviews. What does go wrong almost always goes wrong before the date.
Scams. A deposit to someone you have never spoken to, and then silence. So never pay anything before you have called or video-called.
Someone other than the man in the photos. With agencies it happens that a stand-in shows up. Ask in advance who is coming, whether that is guaranteed, and whether you can chat with that person beforehand to line things up.
No conversation about boundaries with the gigolo who actually comes. This is the real risk, and it is also the dullest one. A man who does not ask beforehand what you do and don’t want is not going to ask during the date either.
What you can do yourself
- Call or video-call first. One ten-minute conversation tells you more than a whole website.
- Meet somewhere neutral the first time. A hotel bar, a café.
- Set up a safety call. Arrange for a friend to call you at an agreed time. She can do that right there in the room where we are; you don’t need to disappear to the bathroom for it.
- Put your boundaries on paper. With me you fill in the consent form, and I stick to it.
- Only pay once the date is set. And ask how you can pay in cash, and otherwise how it shows up on your statement.
Want the full overview, from looking around to the day after? It is all in the safety checklist: for each stage, what you can check, with the red flags and green flags that matter at that point.
What I do
I work without an agency, so from the very first message you are dealing with me and there is never someone else at your door. Before every date we talk about what you want, what you don’t want, and what happens if you change your mind halfway through. That last one is allowed, no explanation needed.
Health: I get tested every six months. Ask me for the results and you’ll get them. Using a condom is not up for negotiation with me.
Afterward the aftercare keeps going, in the days that follow too. That is not an extra service but part of how I work: the reaction to an intense experience often only lands once you are on your own.
Is it legal?
Yes. Paid sex between adults is allowed in the Netherlands, for you as a client too. What is forbidden is coercion and exploitation. So you risk nothing by booking, and there is nothing you need to report anywhere.
If something does go wrong
If it doesn’t feel right, you stop. During a date one word is enough and you don’t have to explain anything.
Not sure about something specific before you book? Just ask. There is no obligation attached, and from the answer you’ll know right away who you are dealing with.
Are my boundaries respected?
Yes, and that isn’t a promise but the whole setup. We spell out beforehand what does and doesn’t happen, you put it in writing in the consent form, and you can change it along the way. No never needs explaining. I won’t test whether it might happen anyway, and I won’t circle back to it later in the evening.
What if he crosses a boundary I didn't agree to?
Then you say stop, and it stops. With me that isn’t theory: we agree on a safeword beforehand, and for BDSM we work with green, orange, and red. Red means everything stops at once, no discussion and no need to explain why. After that we wind down slowly.
Will I feel safer with a gigolo than on a regular date?
Often, yes, and that surprises people. On a date everything is unwritten. You don’t know what the other person expects, how to get out of it, or who he even is. Here it’s all set beforehand, including what won’t happen. You’re not buying a surprise, you’re buying clear agreements.
Can I let someone know where I am without breaking discretion?
Yes, and I encourage it. Arrange for a friend to call or text you at an agreed time. That can happen right there in the same room; you don’t need to disappear to the bathroom for it. Share your location with her through your phone if you like. I see it as good sense, not distrust. The safety call is one of the points on the safety checklist, which lays out for each stage of the date what you can check.
Is it safe to go alone to an unknown address?
With me that doesn’t come up, because I come to you or we meet at a hotel you know or booked yourself. I don’t invite anyone to my home. If you do have to go to an unknown address with someone else, never do it without someone knowing where you are. What to check best before that first time is on the safety checklist.
Is it safe to meet at my home?
That works fine, and plenty of women choose it precisely because they feel more at ease at home. You only give your address shortly beforehand, and you can still switch to a hotel if home feels too close after all. I arrive discreetly and in ordinary clothes. Still unsure, then run through the safety checklist before you share your address.
Is hiring a gigolo safe for me as a woman?
Yes, as long as you do the three things that really matter: call or video-call first, choose the place and time yourself, and let someone know where you are. The rest is comfort. What goes wrong in this line of work almost always goes wrong before the date, not during it. Those three points, and everything else you can run through stage by stage, are on the safety checklist.