An evening with a man who is really there
Boyfriend experience?
No role, no show. Someone who listens, makes time for you and senses what you need. You decide how far it goes and how fast.
What is a boyfriend experience?
A boyfriend experience is a paid date where a man acts like your boyfriend instead of a service provider: dinner, talking, touch, and sex if it goes that way. The term comes from the older “girlfriend experience”. The difference with an ordinary escort booking is not in what happens, but in the tone and the time.
With me that means dinner out. A walk along the water when the weather cooperates. Talking on the couch until you notice it has gone dark outside. There is time, there is attention for you as a person, and sex is a possibility rather than an item on the schedule.
The reasons vary. Some women have not been touched in years. Others are in a relationship that runs on autopilot, or have just come out of a divorce and have no idea how you start again after that. And sometimes it is simpler. Someone wants an evening that is about her for once.
I’m Victor. More than twenty-five years a psychotherapist, and you see that in how I approach this. I listen first. Doing comes later, or not at all.
Who is a boyfriend experience for?
A boyfriend experience suits you if you miss attention, want to learn to date again, have an old fantasy waiting, or simply want an evening for yourself. Do you recognize one of these?
- You get too little attention. In your relationship the flame has gone out, or you are single and it has grown quiet around you. You miss someone who looks at you.
- You want to start again. After a long relationship or a divorce, dating feels like a language you no longer speak. You want to practice first somewhere nothing can go wrong.
- You have a fantasy that never happened. Something you never said out loud, to anyone.
- Your life is fuller than you can handle. Work, children, caring for everyone but yourself. You want an evening where no one wants anything from you.
- You travel alone. A hotel room in a city where you know no one can feel long.
Recognize yourself in none of these and still want to try it once? That’s fine too. You don’t need a reason.
What does a boyfriend experience give you?
Calm in your body and a bit more self-confidence. That is what a boyfriend experience usually gives you. I’m not going to promise you that one evening changes your life. What I do keep seeing in women who have done it:
You leave calmer than you came in. Attention and touch do something to your body. Your stress level drops, you breathe lower, you sleep better that night.
Your self-confidence gets a nudge. An evening where someone looks at you sincerely reminds you that you are worth it. That carries into the weeks after.
You learn something about yourself. What you enjoy and where your limit lies. For some women something else comes with it: how long they had been missing something without ever having said it out loud. That knowledge stays yours, in a next relationship too.
The sense of shame gets smaller. Many women come in with the idea that something is wrong with them because they want this. That idea is usually gone before the evening is over.
How is a boyfriend experience different from an escort?
The difference between a boyfriend experience and an escort is in the attention and the time, not in what technically happens. The question comes up often, so let me be honest. On paper the difference is small. I am a paid companion, just like an escort.
With a classic escort booking the sex is central and the rest is framing. Here it is the other way around. The attention is the product. There is talking and eating, and there is touch that doesn’t have to lead anywhere. What else happens, happens because it goes that way that evening and because you wanted it. Not because it was in the package.
The second difference is the time before and after. I meet with you first without anything having to happen, and I get in touch again afterward. As far as I’m concerned, that is part of it.
Where a boyfriend experience and an escort part ways, side by side:
| Boyfriend experience | Classic escort |
|---|---|
| Attention and company are central | The sex is central |
| Touch doesn’t have to lead anywhere | Touch is part of the package |
| A meeting first without anything having to happen | Usually no meeting beforehand |
| I get in touch again afterward | Done is done |
The female counterpart is called the girlfriend experience. The same idea, the other side of the table.
What does a boyfriend experience cost and how long does it take?
Usually a boyfriend experience lasts an evening, about three to four hours. That is the time it takes to land, do something and wind down calmly. Shorter is possible, but then it gets rushed, and rushed is exactly what you are not looking for.
Longer is possible too. A whole night, a weekend, or a few days away. Those are under arrangements.
I charge no surcharge for a second person and I work with fixed amounts that you know in advance. What an evening costs is on the pricing page.
Where can you book a boyfriend experience?
Anywhere in the Netherlands I meet for a boyfriend experience, and in Belgium and Germany too. I travel there and I speak Dutch, English and German.
Want to know how it works in your area? Look at regions.
How does a boyfriend experience go with me?
With me a boyfriend experience goes in a few calm steps, from meeting to the day after.
1. Meeting. First a conversation. By phone or video call, and over a cup of coffee is fine too. There we talk about what you want, what you definitely don’t want and what you dread. It usually takes half an hour, it costs nothing and it commits you to nothing. Many women book only weeks later. Some never do. Both are fine.
2. The place. At your home, in a hotel, or somewhere else where you feel at ease. I make sure it looks good: soft light, music if you want it, nothing that reminds you of an appointment.
3. Landing. We never start with the core. First a drink, a conversation, a moment to get used to each other in the same room. The nerves you bring are normal and we simply talk them out.
4. The evening itself. It is yours. For one woman it stays talking and lying against each other. For another it goes further. I don’t steer, I follow, and now and then I suggest something.
5. Talking as we go. I keep checking how it’s going. Sometimes with words, sometimes with a look. If you change your mind halfway, the evening changes with you. That is no problem and it costs you nothing extra.
6. Winding down. We don’t stop abruptly. A little afterward-talk, a glass of water, back to the ordinary world. You don’t leave with a strange feeling.
7. After. I get in touch a day later to ask how you are. For some women more comes loose afterward than they expected. You are welcome to come back to me with that.
An evening, written out
Friday. You walk into a bar in the city, and I’m already there. Our eyes find each other before your coat is off. We take a table, closer together than strictly necessary, and the conversation flows on its own. Our knees touch under the table. I brush a lock of hair from your face and you notice you don’t mind.
We share a dessert. My fingers touch your hand, and something moves through you that you haven’t felt in a while. As we walk outside the wind leans you closer against me, and my hand rests in the small of your back.
Upstairs the light is soft and it smells of something woody. I take your coat. I run my hand through your hair, slowly down along your back, and you feel the tension rise. The first kiss is careful. The second one is not.
What happens after that we agreed on beforehand, and it goes exactly as far as you wanted.
Lisanne
From my very first message the communication was clear, warm, and professional. Victor's depth and empathy made me feel completely safe and understood.Read Lisanne's full reviewShow less
After a long time hesitating and exploring whether this would be something for me, I finally decided to take the plunge and get in touch with Victor. From my very first message the communication was clear, warm, and professional. In the run-up to our meeting we communicated a lot via WhatsApp, which helped me enormously to feel at ease and to get a better picture of Victor before we met. One of the first things that stood out to me was Victor’s emphasis on confidentiality and privacy. This really put me at ease and made me feel safe to discuss my desires and boundaries. His website promised that you may come home to yourself and that all your boundaries would be respected. This sounded reassuring, and at our meeting it turned out to be more than true. Within the safe boundaries we had agreed on, a fascinating world opened up for me, full of exploration and intense pleasure. Victor’s depth and empathy made me feel completely safe and understood, so that I truly dared to enjoy and explore. The psychological aspect of our meeting was especially impressive and made me feel truly connected. Victor’s professionalism and experience shine through in everything he does, which was a great reassurance to me. I felt truly heard and respected, and he made sure every step of our time together was attuned to my wishes and comfort. Thank you, Victor, for this unforgettable experience. I very much look forward to our next meeting. It’s as if you can’t get enough of the time you spend with this wonderful and understanding man.
Marloes
Instead it started with talking. A lot of talking. About boundaries, about what I wanted. He senses exactly when he can push on and when not for a moment.Read Marloes's full reviewShow less
I was looking for something exciting and, to be honest, expected it to be intense right away. Instead it started with talking. A lot of talking. About boundaries, about what I wanted. And yes, also about where I came from. At one point I really thought: come on, let’s get started. That this was exactly what made the difference, I only realized much later.
What was less good? The back-and-forth planning took longer for me than I liked. We had to reschedule a few times before there was an evening free for both of us. But once we were settled, everything was right. He senses exactly when he can push on and when not for a moment.
Not five stars because it was bad. Purely because I came in with the wrong expectation myself. I’d go again in a heartbeat.
Still in doubt?
What if someone finds out? No one finds out. I work discreetly, I keep no data I don’t need and I talk to no one about my dates. Not anonymously, not as a fun story either.
Are you really interested? I do this work because I enjoy it, not because I have to. If the click isn’t there, I say so and the date doesn’t happen. That is better for both of us.
Is it worth the money? I can’t decide that for you. What I can do is tell you in advance exactly what it costs, with no surprises afterward. Look at pricing for what to expect.
Are you even allowed to do this? Paying for company is legal, and it is your money and your evening. The awkward thought you have about it now is learned. It wears off.
What if it disappoints? That can happen. That is why the introductory conversation exists. If afterward you decide it’s not for you, that is a fine outcome and I’d rather hear it than sit through an evening you regret.
Read what others thought of it
I can claim all kinds of things here. The words of women who went before you are worth more: about the nerves beforehand, and about the moment those nerves fell away.
Something else in mind?
Would you rather have something quieter first? Then look at intimate togetherness or at touch and skin hunger. Are you looking for something specific instead? The options are under scenarios and the multi-day options under arrangements.
Let's meet
Send me a message. No obligations, no pressure, just a conversation where you can ask your questions and feel out whether this is something for you. You decide only after that, or not.
Does even that feel too nerve-racking? Then you can also just chat first. That costs nothing and nothing comes of it unless you want it to.
Does a boyfriend experience have to include sex?
No, it doesn’t have to. With me sex is a possibility, not an item on the schedule. For one woman it stays talking, dinner out and lying against each other on the couch. For another it goes further. Both are a complete evening.
What happens, we agree on beforehand, and you may change that halfway through. Change your mind and the evening changes with you. That costs you nothing extra and I don’t hold it against you.
Want to be sure in advance that it won’t go that way? Say so in the introductory conversation. Then I write it down and hold to it.
Are you going to act like you're in love with me? Won't that feel fake?
I don’t play a role. I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not, because you’d see through that within ten minutes and then the evening is ruined. What is there is real: genuine attention and curiosity about who you are.
That it’s paid for changes nothing about that. I do this work because I enjoy it, not because I have to. If the click isn’t there on my side, I say so honestly and the date doesn’t happen. That is better for both of us.
What I don’t do is promise you a great love. This is an evening that is entirely about you for once. No theater, real attention instead.
Can I book this if I'm married or in a relationship?
Yes. Some of the women who come to me are married or in a relationship. What’s going on in your life is your business. I don’t judge it, ever.
Discretion here is not a promise but the way I work. I keep no data I don’t need, and I talk to no one about my dates. Not anonymously, not as a fun story either.
Do you have a concern of your own about keeping this quiet? Say it in your first message. Then I’ll adjust to that.
I'm nervous and don't know what to say. Is that a problem?
No, and you don’t have to do anything about it either. Almost everyone comes in nervous. That’s part of it and it says nothing about whether it’ll be a good evening.
That’s why we never start with the core. First a drink, a conversation, a moment to get used to each other in the same room. The nerves you bring we simply talk out, and I don’t rush to fill a silence.
Knowing what to say is not your job for that evening. That is mine. All you have to do is show up.
Am I too old or not attractive enough for this?
No. This is not about a dress size, an age or what the mirror says. It is about you, and about how you feel with me. The women who book this are twenty, forty and well into their sixties.
The very idea that you’d be too old or not enough is often exactly what quietly undermines an evening like this. Someone who looks at you sincerely reminds you that you are worth it.
That you’re here and considering this, I find braver than whatever you see in the mirror. That is where it starts, not with your looks.
How do I know it's really you and that you can be trusted?
You check that before you drive anywhere at all. We always start with a meeting, by phone or video call. There you see and hear me, and you know for sure that the man in the photos is the same one who’ll be sitting across from you later.
That conversation costs nothing and commits you to nothing. Many women book only weeks later, some never. Both are fine. If after the video call you feel something is off, it stops there.
What others wrote after their date, you can read at the reviews. Those are words from women who went before you, not from me.
Can you come with me as a partner to a party, wedding or dinner?
Yes, that’s possible. Sometimes you want someone beside you at a wedding, a dinner or a party. Someone who fits in easily and keeps the conversation going, and no one needs to know how we know each other.
Beforehand we agree on who I am to the outside world and how we relate to each other, so it holds up and you don’t have to worry for a moment. Within a boyfriend experience an evening out together like that is simply part of it.
Do you want pure company without anything intimate involved? Then companionship only might fit better. Are you looking for closeness afterward instead? Then you’re in the right place here.
What if I develop feelings for you?
That happens sometimes, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Attention and touch do something to you, especially when you’ve missed them for a while. That something comes up afterward is human.
I am honest about it though. This is a paid date with a clear beginning and end, not the start of a relationship. I keep an eye on that boundary, precisely because otherwise it would hurt you.
If more comes loose afterward than you expected, you’re welcome to come back to me with it. I get in touch a day later anyway to ask how you are.
What if it doesn't feel right during the evening and I want to stop?
Then we stop. At any moment, without explanation and without it costing you anything extra. You keep control the whole evening, from the first drink to the goodbye.
I keep checking how you’re doing, sometimes with a word, sometimes with a look. If you change your mind halfway, the evening simply changes with you. That is not a failure and I don’t hold it against you.
That’s also why the introductory conversation exists. If beforehand you already lean toward not doing it, I’d rather hear that than have you push through an evening you’ll regret.