The power of connection and closeness
Intimate togetherness
In the mood for an evening full of attention and real connection? A charming man who is completely there for you, whether you want to laugh, have dinner or just be together.
What is intimate togetherness?
Intimate togetherness is about daring to be yourself with someone else, beyond sex and beyond touch alone. It reaches what you feel, what you think and sometimes something you can barely put into words. Nothing to prove for once. Letting your shoulders drop and being seen exactly as you are.
That is what a lot of women long for when they book a gigolo. There is no performance to deliver. Just an evening where they genuinely matter, the whole of them.
What forms of intimacy are there?
Intimate togetherness holds several forms of intimacy, from emotional to physical. More sides to it than most people think. A few of them:
- Emotional intimacy: sharing your feelings and fears, and being heard.
- Physical intimacy: cuddling, touch, or simply sitting together in silence.
- Psychological intimacy: getting your thoughts and secrets off your chest, without a single judgment.
- Social intimacy: cooking together, chatting about nothing, laughing out loud.
- Aesthetic intimacy: enjoying music, art or an evening by the sea together.
Why do you long for intimate togetherness?
You long for intimate togetherness because connection is a basic need, not a luxury. When you feel safe with someone, a lot happens at once. Your stress level drops, your oxytocin rises, and that loneliness that sometimes hangs over you like a blanket gets lighter. You feel understood. That is rarer than it sounds.
Maud
I'd say, woman, don't doubt, this man is safe, very safe and not like your standard gigolo. Give it to yourself. Boundaries are sensed and, more importantly, respected.Read Maud's full reviewShow less
My experience with Victor is honestly hard to put into words. I’d say, woman, don’t doubt, this man is safe, very safe and not like your standard gigolo. Give it to yourself. I went looking for Victor to close off a period in which I had completely lost myself because of a narcissist. For me, Victor is the addition to a piece of personal development. By then I was longing for genuine touch, feeling like a woman and intimacy without pain. The contact with Victor started very easily via the app. Long conversations about connection, wishes and boundaries. That already made it feel a little safer for me to meet. Our eventual date was indescribable. We had deliberately planned plenty of time so there was enough time to ‘land’. Victor is incredibly good at sensing you and putting you at ease with his soft accent, warm eyes and strong arms. Beautiful, deep conversations with a lot of humor and some teasing helped with this too, and slowly it became time for intimacy. In that too, Victor takes a lot of time to put you at ease. At one point I got a bit emotional, and Victor supported me so nicely in that, a little pause, rest, feeling. Everything is allowed to be there. Boundaries are sensed and, more importantly, respected. Not just plain hard sex but intimacy from connection, touch, caressing etc. From this safety I got to experience really beautiful (read: delicious) new things in bed. Experiences that make me feel like a woman again, feel sexy, feel naughty.
Rachel
You were more tender than I could have imagined, more understanding, more caring, more genuine. I felt so seen and so heard and so cared for. You are unique and precious.Read Rachel's full reviewShow less
I didn’t know what to expect when I reached out to you, but what you gave me was more than I could ever have thought. My meeting with you was more than just a meeting. You had reached out to me beforehand, so when we met it felt as if I already knew you, and you me too.
You were more tender than I could have imagined, more understanding, more caring, more genuine. I felt I could tell you anything, ask you anything, want or need anything, and that you were there for me. Lying in your arms while you stroked my hair and kissed my head gave me the strength to face the world again. I felt so seen and so heard and so cared for.
Even after we had met, you still reached out to ask how I was doing. Whatever I thought you could mean to me, you gave me so much more. I don’t think there’s anyone else like you. You are unique and precious.
What are the benefits of intimate togetherness?
The benefits of intimate togetherness are concrete: less stress and a stronger sense that you matter. The table below lays them out.
| Benefit | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Less stress | Physical and emotional contact lowers your stress level |
| More connection | You feel important and valued by the other person |
| Better communication | Openness and vulnerability strengthen the conversation |
| Greater satisfaction in relationships | Intimacy makes relationships more lasting and happier |
| More self-confidence | You feel seen and valued exactly as you are |
What does intimate togetherness look like with me?
With me, intimate togetherness looks like an evening you set the terms of. Some women book me for dinner in town, others would rather end up at home on the couch with a glass of wine and a conversation that doesn’t have to be about anything. Both are good. What I offer is sometimes called the boyfriend experience, the girlfriend experience in reverse if you like: a whole evening of the attention, the charm and the closeness of a man who is completely there for you.
We start slow. First just arrive, see how it feels. I’m a psychotherapist, so listening is built into me, and I usually sense quickly what you need. Want to talk? Then we talk. Would you rather sit quietly against someone? That’s fine too. You set the pace, from start to finish.
Can intimate togetherness be without sex?
Yes, intimate togetherness works perfectly well without sex. Intimacy doesn’t have to be sexual, and with me nothing has to happen at all. A long walk, a good conversation, a hand holding yours as the evening falls: that can already be enough. It’s about attention and closeness, not about what may or may not happen afterwards.
A gift to yourself
An evening like this is purely for you. It takes a bit of nerve, I know that perfectly well. Taking the first step feels exciting, I hear that a lot, and it’s the most normal thing in the world. But give yourself that attention once and something shifts. You leave calmer than you came in.
Curious, but not ready to commit to anything yet? Send me a message on WhatsApp with whatever you want to ask, or have a look at my contact page first. I don’t bite.
Can I book someone purely for company and attention, without sex?
Yes, absolutely. You can book me purely for company, a good conversation and attention, with no sex involved. An evening of dinner together, a walk or simply talking on the couch with someone who really listens is enough, and a full date in its own right.
This isn’t a stripped-down version of a date and it doesn’t cost less either. You pay for time and attention, and where that goes is up to you.
Something that happens more often than you’d think: someone books for company and more grows out of it along the way. That’s allowed too, and it doesn’t have to. There’s no direction we have to head in.
Can I share what's on my mind with someone who won't judge and won't give advice?
Yes. You can share everything that’s on your mind with someone who listens without judging and without handing out advice you didn’t ask for.
Sometimes you don’t want to be fixed, you just want to be heard. That’s exactly the difference with friends, who mean well and come up with a solution after three sentences, and with family, who have feelings of their own about it.
My background as a psychotherapist helps with that, but this isn’t therapy and I don’t sell it as therapy. I listen, I ask more when that helps, and I want nothing further from it. Afterwards nothing is on record anywhere and no one brings it up again.
Is it okay if I end up only wanting to talk and nothing else?
Completely fine, and it happens more often than you’d think. There have been whole evenings where nothing happened but talking, and they were worth every bit as much.
You pay for time and attention, and you decide where that goes. Even if that changes halfway through. If you started with a different plan and talking turns out to be what you need, then that’s what the evening became.
You don’t have to know that in advance or announce it either. There’s no program that has to be worked through and no one who goes home disappointed. And you don’t have to explain afterwards why it went the way it did.
I don't want any attachment to a man at all. Is that possible?
Yes, and for a lot of women that’s exactly why they end up here. No relationship comes out of it, nothing is expected of you afterwards, and there’s no man wanting to know where he stands the next morning.
When the date is over, it’s over. I don’t reach out on my own, I don’t send messages asking whether you’d like to do it again, and outside of dates I keep no private contact.
That isn’t coldness, it’s the reason it works. Precisely because there’s no future attached to it, it can be complete in the moment.
What exactly is a boyfriend experience?
A paid date where a man behaves like your boyfriend rather than a service provider: going out to eat, talking, touch, and sex if it goes that way. The difference with an ordinary date isn’t in what happens but in the tone and the time.
In practice that means no rigid program, but real attention for you as a person. Asking more about your work because it’s interesting, not because it’s something to fill the silence.
The full explanation, including where the term comes from and who it works for, is on Boyfriend Experience. If you’re unsure whether this is what you’re looking for, read that page through first.