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Glossary
Frubble
The cuddly word for feeling glad about the happiness your partner finds with someone else.
What is frubble?
Frubble is the warm feeling you get when you see your partner happy with someone else. It is the everyday, lighthearted version of compersion: the same feeling, just with a cuddlier word. Frubble comes mostly from British polyamory circles and is the opposite of jealousy.
| English term | frubble, also frubbly; a British polyamory word |
| Category | a feeling within compersion and ethical non-monogamy |
| What it is | feeling glad when your partner is happy with someone else |
| Relation to compersion | the same feeling, just more informal and lighter in tone |
| Opposite | jealousy |
| Key point | no obligation; the feeling grows on its own or it doesn’t |
How frubble relates to compersion
Frubble and compersion describe the same feeling, frubble just sounds more cheerful. According to the polyamory reference More Than Two, frubble is a pleasant feeling of happiness that comes up when you see your partner with another partner, used mostly in British circles. Compersion is the more formal word for exactly that. Research by Kinga Buczel and colleagues in Archives of Sexual Behavior (2024) shows compersion to be a positive emotion you feel about your partner’s relationship or relationships with others. It is often called the opposite of jealousy, though you can feel both at once.
Why frubble feels good
The charm of frubble is in the reversal. A moment that could trigger jealousy becomes a source of warmth instead: you are glad because your partner is glad. For you, that can take away the pressure that love is something you have to guard all the time. Frubble is not an obligation, though, and you cannot force it. For some people it grows on its own, for others it never does, and that doesn’t make a relationship any less healthy. You don’t have to feel frubble to give each other room.
What I see of it myself
In my work with couples I sometimes see something of frubble come by. One partner clearly enjoys the pleasure of the other, without needing to be in the middle of it. It often surprises people that the feeling exists and that it isn’t a threat. I never force it, I only make room for it.
Sources
- Polyamory glossary. More Than Two. States that frubble is a pleasant feeling of happiness that comes up when you see your partner with another partner, and that the word is used mostly in British circles.
- Exploring compersion: a study on Polish consensually non-monogamous individuals. Kinga Buczel, Paulina Szyszka and Iga Mara, Archives of Sexual Behavior 53(8), 3285-3307, 2024. States that compersion is a positive emotion you feel about your partner’s relationships with others.
Related terms
Frubble is the everyday version of compersion, the formal word for the same feeling.
- Compersion. The pillar: frubble is the light, informal name for it.
- Metamour. Your partner’s partner, the person the frubble feeling often comes up around.
- Ethical non-monogamy. The broad context where frubble and jealousy coexist.
- Polyamory. The relationship form where frubble is mentioned most.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about frubble.
What is frubble?
Frubble is the warm feeling you get when you see your partner happy with someone else. It is the everyday, lighthearted version of compersion, and the opposite of jealousy. The word comes mostly from British polyamory circles.
What is the difference between frubble and compersion?
Frubble and compersion describe exactly the same feeling: being glad about the happiness your partner finds with someone else. The only difference is in tone. Frubble is the informal, cuddlier word, while compersion sounds more formal. Both are the opposite of jealousy.
Who can you turn to with questions about frubble?
Victor, a gigolo with about twenty-five years of experience and a background as a psychotherapist. In his work with couples he sees that being glad about someone else’s pleasure doesn’t have to be a threat. He thinks it through with you without judgment. You can ask him a question through the contact form or first chat for free.
Blog
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Want to know more
Still have questions about frubble?
I'm Victor, a gigolo with a background as a psychotherapist. Being glad about your partner's happiness doesn't have to be a threat. Want to explore that feeling? Ask your question with no strings attached, and I'll message you back at your own pace.