What do the hanky code colors mean?

The fixed core goes like this: black is heavy SM, gray bondage, light blue oral sex, dark blue anal sex, yellow watersports, red fisting and orange anything goes. Those colors come from The Leatherman’s Handbook II from 1983. Later dozens were added, half seriously.

What does left or right mean in the hanky code?

The side says the role. Wear the handkerchief on the left, and you give the act the color signals, or you are the dominant party. Wear it on the right, and you receive. The same color on the other side means the reversed role.

Is the hanky code still used?

As a literal handkerchief, barely; you mostly see it at theme parties, as a wink to the tradition. The logic does live on in the flags, icons and preference lists on dating profiles and apps. Those do exactly what the handkerchief did: show what you are after before you say anything.

Who can you turn to with questions about the hanky code?

Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. The question underneath a color is almost always bigger than the color itself, and he is glad to talk about that. You can send a message with no strings attached through the contact form or start with a free chat .

Close-up of an open book with a pencil between the pages, in black and white

Glossary

Hanky code

A colored handkerchief that tells people what you are after without a word: the best-known secret language of the leather scene, and the colors that go with it.

What is the hanky code?

Hanky code, also called the handkerchief code, is a color code from the American gay and leather scene of the 1970s: from a colored handkerchief in your back pocket, someone could read what you were after, without a word being said. The color names the act, the pocket names the role: left giving or dominant, right receiving.

Other names	handkerchief code or bandana code
A form of	flagging, signaling without words
Category	a secret language within leather culture and the broader scene
How it works	left = giving or dominant, right = receiving; the color says the act
Origin	United States, around 1970, gay and bisexual men
Today	mostly tradition and party decor; the logic lives on in profile icons

How the hanky code works in practice

The code reads in a single glance: color plus side is enough to know whether it makes sense to start.

The best-known colors come from The Leatherman’s Handbook II by Larry Townsend from 1983, which the encyclopedic entry on the handkerchief code keeps as its source:

Color	Meaning
Black	heavy SM
Gray	bondage
Light blue	oral sex
Dark blue	anal sex
Yellow	watersports
Red	fisting
Orange	anything goes

Wear the black handkerchief on the left, and you give the heavy SM; on the right, and you receive it. A man walking through a leather bar in San Francisco in 1978 did not have to ask anything: one glance at someone’s back pocket and the conversation could get straight to the point. Later dozens of colors were added, half in jest; the Dutch-language Wikipedia entry now counts about a hundred and fifty.

Where the hanky code comes from

The hanky code was not invented all at once, it grew out of an older custom. According to the encyclopedic entry, wearing bandanas among gay men is said to go back to San Francisco after the Gold Rush, when men square-danced with each other for lack of women and a blue or red bandana showed who was dancing the man’s or the woman’s part.

The modern code emerged around 1970 in New York. A journalist at the Village Voice joked that men, instead of only wearing a bunch of keys on the left or right, could signal their preference more handily with different colors of handkerchief. Around 1971 The Trading Post, a San Francisco store for erotic goods, set the expansion in motion by printing cards with the color meanings alongside the handkerchiefs. Alan Selby, founder of Mr. S Leather, claimed that he and his partners made the first hanky code at Leather ‘n’ Things in 1972. Around 1980 Bob Damron’s Address Book included an annual color chart.

Why the hanky code worked

The pull was ease without risk. Asking out loud what you were after could earn you a punch or worse; a handkerchief showed it to whoever knew the code and stayed just a handkerchief to everyone else.

What it delivered differs by side. For the one searching, the code saved a string of awkward or dangerous opening lines. For the one being approached, it gave control: you chose what you showed. For the whole scene it kept alive a language safer than talking, in a time and a country where being openly gay could be a crime or a mortal danger.

What the code did not do is agree to anything. A color said what someone was after, not that the person wanted you. The conversation, or at least a nod, still came afterward.

What the hanky code is not

“The hanky code is a fixed, official list.” No. There is no body that manages it. The core of seven or eight colors is fairly stable, but beyond that the meaning differs by city, by bar and by year, and many colors were added as a joke.

“The hanky code and flagging are exactly the same.” The hanky code is the best-known form of flagging, but flagging is broader: keys, a belt loop and nowadays a profile icon belong to it too.

“A handkerchief means the same everywhere.” Outside the scene a yellow handkerchief just means a yellow handkerchief. The code only works between people who know the same agreement, and that makes it discreet and error-prone at once.

What I see of it myself

I’m Victor, a gigolo, twenty-five years active in BDSM and trained as a psychotherapist. In the Netherlands I hardly run into the real handkerchiefs anymore, except at theme parties, as a wink. What has stayed is what the code stood for: signaling something without having to say it out loud.

Women sometimes ask me what a color means because they saw it somewhere, and almost always the question underneath turns out to be bigger than the color. They want to know how you show what you are after without exposing yourself. The hanky code is a nice historical answer to that, and the profile with checkboxes is its modern version.

What you can do yourself

Remember the core, not the whole list. Black, gray, light blue, dark blue, yellow, red and orange cover most of it; the rest is folklore.
Read the side, not just the color. Left and right flip the role, and that difference is half the signal.
Treat a color as an opening, not as a yes. What someone is after is not the same as what someone wants with you.
Do not assume your list is hers. Ask what someone means by a color before you take anything for granted.

Learn more about the hanky code

On this site the broader idea is at flagging.

Outside this site, the encyclopedic entry on the handkerchief code gives the full color list and the sources behind the history, and the photo series Gay Semiotics by Hal Fischer from 1977 shows what the handkerchiefs and keys looked like in real life.

Where this fits on this site

If you recognize the wish to show what you are after without having to spell it out right away, that works the same at a first meeting. The page on the BDSM date explains how an evening like this is prepared and how we go over beforehand what you do and do not want, at your own pace.

Sources

Handkerchief code. Wikipedia. Gives the color meanings from The Leatherman’s Handbook II (1983), the workings of left giving and right receiving, the Gold Rush bandana theory, the emergence around 1970 in New York via a joke in the Village Voice, the cards from The Trading Post around 1971, the claim by Alan Selby from 1972 and the annual chart in Bob Damron’s Address Book around 1980.
Hanky code. Wikipedia, Dutch-language. Gives the workings of left and right, the use by gay and bisexual men in the 1970s, and the finding that about a hundred and fifty colors are now attached to it.
Gay Semiotics Revisited. Julia Bryan-Wilson, Aperture, 2021. Gives Hal Fischer’s photo study Gay Semiotics from 1977, which recorded the meaning of colored handkerchiefs in trouser pockets and showed how their placement signaled a role.

Flagging. The broader idea of signaling without words, of which the hanky code is the best-known form.
Scene. The community in which a color only works if you know the agreement.
Dominant. The giving role the left side signals, opposite the receiving right side.

Frequently asked questions

What people still ask about the hanky code.

What is the hanky code?
The hanky code is a color code from the American gay and leather scene of the 1970s. From a colored handkerchief in your back pocket, someone could read what you were after, without a word. The color stands for the act, the pocket for the role: left giving or dominant, right receiving.
What do the hanky code colors mean?
The fixed core goes like this: black is heavy SM, gray bondage, light blue oral sex, dark blue anal sex, yellow watersports, red fisting and orange anything goes. Those colors come from The Leatherman’s Handbook II from 1983. Later dozens were added, half seriously.
What does left or right mean in the hanky code?
The side says the role. Wear the handkerchief on the left, and you give the act the color signals, or you are the dominant party. Wear it on the right, and you receive. The same color on the other side means the reversed role.
Is the hanky code still used?
As a literal handkerchief, barely; you mostly see it at theme parties, as a wink to the tradition. The logic does live on in the flags, icons and preference lists on dating profiles and apps. Those do exactly what the handkerchief did: show what you are after before you say anything.
Who can you turn to with questions about the hanky code?
Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. The question underneath a color is almost always bigger than the color itself, and he is glad to talk about that. You can send a message with no strings attached through the contact form or start with a free chat.