Deep throat

What is deep throat?

Deep throat (Dutch: no word of its own) is oral sex in which the penis is taken past the gag reflex into the throat. The difference from ordinary oral sex is anatomical: the penis goes into the pharynx and not just the mouth. The term comes from a 1972 porn film. How far someone goes is something you agree on beforehand.

What happens in the throat

Deep throat hits exactly the spot the body protects with a reflex. The gag reflex, in the literature the pharyngeal reflex, is according to the StatPearls chapter by Sivakumar and Prabhu an involuntary reflex in which the throat muscles contract and the soft palate lifts. The stimulus comes in via the glossopharyngeal nerve, the response goes out via the vagus nerve. It is triggered from the posterior pharyngeal wall, the area near the tonsils, the base of the tongue and the soft palate. They describe the reflex as having evolved to keep you from swallowing foreign objects or choking.

The most common example, then, is not a successful attempt but a failed one: someone tries, touches the soft palate, and gags. No unwillingness, no lack of practice. Just the reflex doing what it is there for.

What happens beyond that, the encyclopedia describes plainly: in deep-throating the tightness of the pharynx can intensely stimulate the glans. That is where the appeal is, and that is also where the problem is. The same square centimeter.

Where the word comes from

Deep throat is not a medical term but a film title. Deep Throat is a 1972 American porn film by Gerard Damiano, starring Linda Lovelace. The plot revolves around a woman who discovers that her clitoris is in her throat.

That the term comes from porn and not from anatomy explains a lot. The film sold it as a trick you can learn, and that image has stuck.

Who actually has a gag reflex?

Not everyone by a long way, and that is the most surprising fact on this page. Davies, Kidd, Stone and MacMahon studied 140 healthy people for The Lancet. In 37 percent of them the gag reflex was absent, while throat sensation was missing in only one participant.

So more than one in three people do not have that reflex, without anything being wrong. The StatPearls text names habituation as the explanation.

Something important follows from that: an absent reflex does not mean there is no limit. The reflex is a warning, not a set of scales.

Why people want deep throat

The appeal is rarely in the technique. Usually it is about surrender: allowing something you do not steer while you do choose it yourself.

• For whoever gives the gain is often the feeling of handing over control in a way that goes further than ordinary oral sex.
• For whoever receives it is the combination of intense stimulation and the awareness that the other is doing this for him and not to him.
• For a couple the conversation that precedes it is often the real payoff. Few other acts force agreements about stopping so directly.

Deep throat is not something everyone wants or can do, and that is fine. Whoever tries it because it looks normal in porn is doing it for the wrong reason.

How people approach it

In practice it starts with talking and with an agreement about stopping. Because talking during the act is not possible, people agree on a gesture: two taps on a leg, a hand that lets go.

Beyond that it mostly differs in who steers. In one form the person giving sets the pace and the depth. In the other the receiving party takes the lead, and then it is usually called throat-fucking. That difference is not cosmetic: the responsibility for stopping then lies somewhere else.

For the technique itself, from breathing to posture, this site has two articles: the art of deep-throating and the pleasure of deep sensations.

Misconceptions about deep throat

“If you practice well enough, your gag reflex goes away.” In more than a third of people that reflex was never there, according to the Lancet study. And a reflex that stays does not mean you are doing something wrong.

“Oral sex is safe, so deep throat is too.” Soa Aids Nederland is clear about this: you can get an STI in your throat from giving oral sex, and the organization names six STIs that transmit this way: gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, HPV, HIV and chlamydia. A condom lowers the odds, but does not protect equally well against everything.

“Deep throat is the same as throat-fucking.” The act looks like it, the division of roles does not. In throat-fucking the receiving party steers, which gives the person giving less influence over the pace.

What I see of it myself

I am Victor, a gigolo, and I get more questions about this than you would think. Almost never about technique.

It is almost always about shame over gagging, usually from women who think there is something wrong with their throat. Since I learned the Lancet figure, that is an easy conversation: more than one in three people do not have that reflex at all.

The second thing I notice: the stop signal is rarely used, but it does make the difference between relaxing and not. Someone who knows she can get out usually does not need to. In an intimate evening you decide how far something goes, and nothing has to happen.

What you can do yourself

• Agree on a stop signal before you start, because talking is not possible once the throat is occupied.
• Do not rely on the gag reflex as a limit. More than one in three people do not have that reflex, and then the warning is missing.
• Ask how the other feels about it instead of trying it along the way. Deep throat belongs to the things you discuss beforehand.
• Use a condom if you do not know the STI status, and skip it if you have cuts in your mouth.
• Stop at throat pain or nausea instead of pushing on until it wears off.

More reading on deep throat

On this site, two articles cover the practice: the art of deep-throating on relaxation and communication, and deep throating: the pleasure of deep sensations on how it feels from the inside.

Off this site, the StatPearls chapter on the gag reflex is free to read, and Soa Aids Nederland gives the shortest honest overview of the risk.

Sources

• Pharyngeal sensation and gag reflex in healthy subjects. Davies, Kidd, Stone & MacMahon, The Lancet 345(8948), 487–488, 1995. A study of 140 healthy people; in 37 percent the gag reflex was absent, while throat sensation was missing in only one participant.
• Physiology, Gag Reflex. Sivakumar & Prabhu, StatPearls Publishing. Supplies the description of the pharyngeal reflex, the cranial nerves involved, the spots that trigger it, its protective function and habituation as the explanation for its absence.
• Kun je een soa in je keel of mond krijgen?. Soa Aids Nederland. Supplies the six STIs that can end up in the throat via oral sex and the finding that a condom lowers the odds but does not protect equally well against everything.
• Fellatio. Wikipedia. Supplies the placement of deep-throating within fellatio, the role of the pharynx and the finding that the gag reflex is triggered by touching the soft palate.
• Deep Throat (film). Wikipedia. Supplies the year 1972, director Gerard Damiano, lead actress Linda Lovelace and the plot the name of the act comes from.

Related terms

• Consent. The agreement that has to be made beforehand with deep throat, because talking during the act is not possible.
• Check-in. The gauging in between, and why a gesture replaces the word here.
• Breath control. The near neighbor where it is also about air, with the risks that come with it.
• Aftercare. What should happen afterward, especially if it unintentionally went too far.
• Throat-fucking. The same depth with the roles reversed: there the person with the penis steers, and the mouth cannot say anything.
• Oral sex. The broader act that deep throat is the extreme of.