Vagus nerve

What is the vagus nerve?

The vagus nerve (Latin: nervus vagus) is the main nerve of your rest system. It’s the longest cranial nerve and runs from your brainstem deep into your belly. Where the fight-or-flight response revs you up, the vagus nerve does the opposite: it puts your body into the state of rest and recovery. Touch and safety activate it, and that’s exactly the physiology under cuddling and aftercare.

What the vagus nerve does

It’s the brake, not the accelerator. According to the Cleveland Clinic, the vagus nerve is the main nerve of the parasympathetic nervous system, which runs the rest-and-digest functions, and it influences your heart rate and digestion among other things. In plain terms: when the vagus nerve takes over, your heart rate drops, your breath deepens, and your body feels safe enough to relax. That is not a side matter for sex, it’s the condition. Arousal and surrender only work once this system is on.

The vagus nerve and pleasure

There’s one more surprising role. According to brain researcher Barry Komisaruk in The Conversation, sensation from the cervix reaches the brain via three pairs of nerves: the pelvic, the hypogastric, and the vagus nerve. That last route partly explains why stimulation deep inside can have such a distinct, deep quality, and why a cervical orgasm feels different from a clitoral one.

What the vagus nerve is not

“You can just switch it on when you want.” Not with a button. The vagus nerve responds to safety, not to willpower. Calm breathing, warmth, and touch invite it; forcing yourself to relax actually backfires.

What I make of it

I’m not a doctor, but this rest system is what my work as a gigolo is essentially about, and what I take all the time for during an intimate meeting. Everything I do, the calm pace, the warmth, the attention, and no hurry at all, invites exactly that system to switch on. I see it happen: the breath that drops, the shoulders that let go, the moment someone really lands. Only after that does the rest often come on its own. You can’t force relaxation, but you can make all the room for it.

Sources

• Vagus nerve. Cleveland Clinic. Provides that the vagus nerve is the main nerve of the parasympathetic nervous system, the longest cranial nerve from brain to large intestine, and runs the rest-and-digest functions such as heart rate and digestion.
• The cervix is sensitive. Barry Komisaruk and María Cruz Rodríguez del Cerro, The Conversation. Provides that sensation from the cervix reaches the brain via three pairs of nerves: the pelvic, hypogastric, and vagus nerve.

Related terms

• Fight-or-flight response. The opposite of the vagus nerve, the alarm system.
• Cervical orgasm. The deep orgasm that runs partly via the vagus nerve.
• Aftercare. The calm afterward in which the vagus nerve does the work.
• Skin hunger. The need for touch that feeds this rest system.