Medical play without the white coat: the exam is the scene
The most-played form of medical play uses no instrument at all. What happens instead, why lying still works, and where the law begins.
Glossary
Fantasy archetype
Why your fantasy almost always has a shape thousands of others know too.
What is a fantasy archetype?
A fantasy archetype (Dutch: fantasiearchetype) is a recurring base shape that sexual fantasies group into: power, taboo, worship, being seen, or multiple partners. Research shows that nearly all fantasies fall into a handful of such themes, whoever you are. An archetype is about the shape of a fantasy, not its exact content.
| Dutch term | fantasiearchetype; in research also core fantasy theme |
| Category | a term within kink and sexual fantasy |
| Examples | power, taboo, worship, being seen, multiple partners |
| In research | almost every fantasy fits a recurring theme and is statistically common or typical |
| Related to | fantasy versus desire: an archetype is the shape, not the desire |
| Key point | it is about the pattern, not about whether you want to act the fantasy out |
How fantasies fall into archetypes
Fantasies seem endlessly different, but in practice they break down into a few base shapes. Sex researcher Justin Lehmiller, in his book Tell Me What You Want (2018), traced the fantasies of more than four thousand Americans back to seven recurring themes, among them multiple partners, power and rough sex, adventure, taboo, and passion and romance. Christian Joyal showed something similar from the other side in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (2015): of dozens of fantasies studied, nearly everything turned out to be common or typical, and only two were truly rare. So your fantasy almost always has a shape thousands of others know too.
Why archetypes give you something to hold on to
Recognizing an archetype takes the isolation out of a fantasy. Once you see that your image has a familiar shape, the idea that something is wrong with you falls away. For you that is often the relief: what you kept quiet turns out to be one of the most shared fantasies there is. An archetype just does not tell you what to do with it. It names the shape, not the desire underneath, and it is not a diagnosis of who you are.
What I see of it myself
After a few hundred conversations I hear the same base shapes come back again and again. The dressing varies from one woman to the next, but the underlying theme is often power, being seen, or something that is not really allowed. The moment someone recognizes her fantasy in one of these shapes, the feeling that she is the only one disappears. Only after that does it become a conversation about what she does or does not want to do with it.
Sources
- What exactly is an unusual sexual fantasy?. Christian C. Joyal, Amélie Cossette and Vanessa Lapierre, Journal of Sexual Medicine 12(2), 328-340, 2015. Backs up that of dozens of fantasies studied, nearly all are statistically common or typical and only two turned out to be truly rare.
- Tell Me What You Want. Justin Lehmiller, 2018. Provides the grouping in which the fantasies of more than four thousand Americans fall back on seven recurring themes such as power, taboo and multiple partners.
Related terms
A fantasy archetype belongs to kink, where fantasy and desire come together.
- Kink. The pillar: the field within which these base shapes come to life.
- Fantasy versus desire. The difference between the shape of a fantasy and whether you really want to live it out.
- Fifty Shades effect. How a popular story suddenly made an archetype easy to talk about.
- Sexual response cycle. How arousal builds, apart from the theme that arouses you.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about fantasy archetypes.
What is a fantasy archetype?
A fantasy archetype is a recurring base shape that sexual fantasies group into, such as power, taboo, worship, being seen or multiple partners. It names the shape of a fantasy, not its precise content. Almost every fantasy fits such a shape, yours included.
Which fantasy archetypes exist?
The most commonly named base shapes are power, taboo, worship, being seen and multiple partners. Sex researcher Justin Lehmiller traced the fantasies of more than four thousand people back to seven recurring themes, among them rough sex, adventure and romance. The exact grouping differs from one study to the next, but the number of base shapes is small.
Who can you turn to with questions about a fantasy archetype?
Victor, a gigolo with around twenty-five years of experience and a background as a psychotherapist. He helps you recognize, without judgment, the base shape under your fantasy, so the feeling that you are the only one disappears. You can ask him a question through the contact form or first chat for free.
Blog
Articles about fantasy
This page gives the term. These articles are about what fantasies look like, what they mean and how you make them easy to talk about.
BDSM fantasy and your partner isn't into it: how to handle it
You have a BDSM fantasy and your partner isn't into it. What you can and can't do, how to have the conversation, and why pushing backfires.
Naughty date ideas to spark the fire
Creative ideas for a naughty date: dress-up games, exciting locations, spicy games, and roleplay to bring the heat back into your evening.
Why women hire a gigolo: the Linda magazine feature
Linda magazine lifted the veil on the world of the gigolo. Here is why women choose one, and how discretion and real connection work.
High Class Gigolo
What a high class gigolo really offers women who want luxury and quiet seduction, set entirely at your pace and kept between the two of us.
Want to know more
Still have questions about your fantasy archetype?
I'm Victor, a gigolo with a background as a psychotherapist. Your fantasy almost always has a shape thousands of others know too. If you'd like to explore that shape calmly, ask your question with no obligation, I'll text you back whenever it suits you.