Podcast interview: Victor on what BDSM really is
Jolanda from Brabants Meisje interviews Victor about what BDSM really is, beyond the whips, about dominance and why it stays equal for him.
Glossary
Fifty Shades effect
The moment kink stepped out of the niche, with everything that was good and wrong about it.
What is the Fifty Shades effect?
The Fifty Shades effect (Dutch: fifty-shades-effect) is the wave of mainstream interest in BDSM that followed E.L. James’s novel Fifty Shades of Grey. After the book became a worldwide bestseller from 2011 on, sales of bondage gear rose and more people dared to talk openly about kink. The term captures that broad effect.
| Dutch term | fifty-shades-effect; the expression is itself English and is used untranslated |
| What it refers to | the broad interest in BDSM after Fifty Shades of Grey, E.L. James, 2011 |
| Category | a cultural effect around kink and BDSM |
| Visible in | more sales of bondage gear, more research, more open conversation |
| Downside | more emergency-room visits from inexperience, and criticism of how the book shows consent |
| Not | proof that the novel portrays BDSM correctly |
How the Fifty Shades effect came about
The effect came from a single book that suddenly made kink visible to an enormous audience. According to CBS News, the Fifty Shades franchise fueled “a growing interest in BDSM,” and sales of the related gear shot up after the trilogy. One chain reported a rise of nearly forty percent. That turned a niche taste into pub talk in a short time.
What the Fifty Shades effect set off
The gain was consent, not technique. People who had always kept kink quiet got a word and a reason to bring it up. That the taste is more widespread than assumed shows in research: in a Belgian sample, 46.8 percent had done at least one BDSM activity at some point, and another 22 percent had fantasies about it, according to Holvoet and colleagues. There is a clear downside. According to Wikipedia, emergency-room visits from this kind of injury rose by more than fifty percent in the year after publication, people acting out what they read without knowing how to do it safely. And the book itself drew criticism for the controlling dynamic it frames as romantic. What I notice of it: it brought women to me who had never said the word BDSM out loud. Not because the novel is accurate, but because it opened a door a crack. What lies behind that door, you discover on a bdsm date at your own pace.
Sources
- Fifty Shades of Belgian Gray: The Prevalence of BDSM-Related Fantasies and Activities in the General Population. Holvoet et al., The Journal of Sexual Medicine 14(9), 2017. Establishes that 46.8 percent of the sample had done at least one BDSM activity at some point and another 22 percent had fantasies about it.
- Fifty Shades of Grey. Wikipedia. Establishes that emergency-room visits from this kind of injury rose by more than fifty percent in the year after publication.
- Fifty Shades of Grey: BDSM goes mainstream. CBS News, 2015. Establishes that the franchise fueled a growing interest in BDSM and that sales of related products rose sharply.
Related terms
The Fifty Shades effect is a cultural concept around kink, the umbrella word for tastes that are not everyday.
- Kink. The pillar: the Fifty Shades effect is the wave of interest that gave kink a broader audience.
- BDSM. The practice the novel made visible, and of which most readers knew only the caricature.
- Vanilla. The opposite, and exactly what many readers wanted to leave behind after the book.
- Sadomasochism. The older, clinical word for what the novel gave a popular name.
- Bondage. The part whose rope, after the book, actually vanished from the shelves.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about the Fifty Shades effect.
What is the Fifty Shades effect?
The Fifty Shades effect is the wave of mainstream interest in BDSM that followed E.L. James’s novel Fifty Shades of Grey. After the book’s success, sales of bondage gear rose and kink was discussed far more widely. The term captures that broad effect, not one single event.
Did Fifty Shades really increase BDSM?
Yes, the Fifty Shades effect shows up in the numbers: shops reported far more sales of bondage gear and interest in BDSM grew visibly. Research also shows the taste is more widespread than people think. Emergency-room visits from inexperience rose too, though, so more interest is not the same as more knowledge.
Who can you turn to with questions about the Fifty Shades effect?
Victor, a gigolo with about twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. He regularly sees women who grew curious through a book or a series, and he tells you with no obligation what holds up in that picture and what does not. You can ask him a question through the contact form or first chat for free.
Blog
Articles about BDSM
This page gives the term. These articles show what BDSM really feels like, far from the caricature in the novel.
Medical play without the white coat: the exam is the scene
The most-played form of medical play uses no instrument at all. What happens instead, why lying still works, and where the law begins.
Your first time at a play party: what to expect
What happens at a play party, who the DM is, how the house rules work, and why watching is the most normal thing to do all evening.
BDSM fantasy and your partner isn't into it: how to handle it
You have a BDSM fantasy and your partner isn't into it. What you can and can't do, how to have the conversation, and why pushing backfires.
SM Room for Rent: BDSM Rooms and Play Spaces in the Netherlands and Beyond
BDSM rooms and SM play spaces for rent across the Netherlands, Belgium, France and Germany: SM cottages, SM B&Bs, setup, prices and what to check.
Related service
Trying BDSM with guidance
Curious, but you would rather have someone who knows what he is doing? The service page shows how a BDSM date with me goes and what you can expect.
BDSM date
Book a BDSM date with a gigolo who has 25 years of experience. Safe, intense, always within your limits, from soft bondage to dominance.
Learn more
Still have questions about the Fifty Shades effect?
I am Victor, a gigolo. Curious after a book or a series, but not keen to figure it out on your own? Ask your question with no obligation, and I will text you back at your ease.