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Glossary

Erotic imagination

Why almost everyone fantasizes, and why it is something other than actually wanting a thing.

What is erotic imagination?

Erotic imagination (Dutch: erotische verbeelding) is a mental image or thought that stirs your sexuality and can evoke or heighten arousal. It plays out entirely in your head. Having a fantasy does not mean you actually want to carry it out.

Dutch termerotische verbeelding, also erotische fantasie
Categoryfalls under kink and the broader sexual response cycle
How commonnearly universal; research finds most fantasies are very ordinary
Not to be confused witha plan or a wish to actually do something; a fantasy stays in your head
Related formsroleplay and the rape fantasy

How erotic imagination works

Erotic imagination is a safe space in your head where anything is allowed, precisely because nothing actually happens. The encyclopedia describes a sexual fantasy as a mental image or pattern of thought that stirs someone’s sexuality and can evoke or heighten arousal, and states that such fantasies are nearly universal. Because the play is fully imaginary, you are not bound by what is achievable or appropriate.

Why erotic imagination is so ordinary

Most fantasies are perfectly ordinary, and that is the first reassurance. In a study by Joyal, Cossette and Lapierre (2015), 1,516 adults rated 55 fantasies. Only two of them turned out to be rare, while thirty were common and five were even typical. For most people, erotic imagination is therefore a source of arousal and self-knowledge, and often a gentle warm-up for sex. The line is simple: living a fantasy in your head is something other than wanting to make it real, and far from every fantasy is meant to actually be done.

Sources

  • Sexual fantasy. Wikipedia. Provides the definition of a sexual fantasy as a mental image that stirs the sexuality and evokes arousal, and the finding that such fantasies are nearly universal.
  • What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy?. Joyal, Cossette & Lapierre, The Journal of Sexual Medicine 12(2), 328–340, 2015. A study of 1,516 adults; provides the finding that only two fantasies were rare, against thirty common and five typical.

Erotic imagination sits in this glossary under kink, the place where fantasy and the forbidden come together.

  • Kink. The parent category, where much erotic imagination takes its shape.
  • Roleplay. A fantasy you act out together instead of only thinking it.
  • Rape fantasy. A common fantasy that shows precisely that imagination and wish are not the same.
  • Erotic equation. Why the forbidden and the unreachable in a fantasy are so arousing.

Frequently asked questions

What people still ask about erotic imagination.

  1. What is erotic imagination?

    Erotic imagination is a mental image or thought that stirs your sexuality and can evoke or heighten arousal. It plays out entirely in your head, apart from what is achievable or appropriate. Having an erotic fantasy does not mean you actually want to carry it out.

  2. Is it normal to have sexual fantasies?

    Yes, erotic imagination is nearly universal and most fantasies are very ordinary. In a study of 1,516 adults, only two of the 55 fantasies presented turned out to be rare, against thirty common and five typical. Having a fantasy also says nothing about whether you want to carry it out, because imagination and wish are not the same.

  3. Who can you turn to with questions about erotic imagination?

    Victor, a gigolo with about twenty-five years of BDSM experience and a background as a psychotherapist. He listens to a fantasy without judgment and tells you, with no strings attached, how you can explore it safely, even if it stays just words. You can ask him a question through the contact form or first chat for free.

Blog

Articles about fantasy and desire

This page gives the term. These articles show how you speak a fantasy out loud, explore it and live it safely, from a quiet thought to something you once wanted to try.

Learn more

Still have questions about erotic imagination?

I am Victor, gigolo. Saying a fantasy out loud without judgment is part of what I do, and sometimes it stays just words. Want to know how that plays out with me? Ask your question with no strings attached, no obligation, I will text you back at your leisure.

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