The captivity fantasy: power and surrender
The psychology behind the captivity fantasy: power, surrender and control, and how to explore it safely and consensually.
Glossary
Dorei
A heavy word with a name from the language: slave, but as an agreed role of ownership.
What is dorei?
Dorei (奴隷, Dutch: slaaf) is the Japanese word for slave, used within kinbaku and power exchange. It names a submissive who surrenders as property, with a stronger sense of ownership than the neutral bottom. According to Wiktionary, 奴隷 literally means someone who is owned by another.
| Japanese | 奴隷, dorei; literally someone who is owned by another |
| Dutch term | slaaf; in English slave |
| Category | a role within kinbaku and power exchange |
| Opposite | the master, the one who holds the ownership |
| Stronger than | bottom; dorei carries the idea of ownership, not of a single session |
| Key caveat | it is an agreed role, not real ownership; a dorei has a safeword too |
Where dorei comes from
The word does not come from the scene but from the language. Wiktionary describes 奴隷 (dorei) as a slave: someone who is owned by another, forced to work for that person or to perform sexual acts. In the rope and kink world, kinbaku borrowed that word for the heaviest form of surrender. The Shibari Study Glossary accordingly calls dorei simply a slave, with that same literal meaning. Unlike bottom, which can be a role in a single session, dorei carries the idea of ownership within it.
Why people choose the role of dorei
The pull sits in the depth of the letting go. As someone’s dorei you get to decide nothing for a while and perform nothing. You belong to someone, and that is allowed. For you that brings a calm that lighter play does not give. For the one above you, the master, it means the care of a whole person instead of a care for one evening. Only: however total it feels, it stays agreed and reversible. A dorei has a safeword too, and the role stands or falls on trust, not on real ownership. The word is heavy, what lies underneath is still consent.
Where this fits on this site
The full role of dorei belongs to a longer bond of ownership, something other than what you build in a single evening. If you would like to taste the heavier side of surrender within clear limits, you can explore it as roleplay within a BDSM date. On that page you can read how I build such an evening and what we agree on beforehand.
Sources
- 奴隷 (dorei). Wiktionary. Provides the meaning of 奴隷 as a slave: someone who is owned by another, forced to work for that person or to perform sexual acts.
Related terms
Dorei is a more intense, ownership-oriented variant of the bottom.
- Bottom. The neutral role that dorei is a heavier version of.
- Slave. The Dutch word for the same role of surrender.
- Master. The counter-role that holds the ownership.
- Total power exchange. The power exchange that such a bond of ownership leans on.
- Internal enslavement. The deeper, inner form of the same surrender.
- Kinbaku. The Japanese rope work in which dorei belongs as a term.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about dorei.
Who can you turn to with questions about dorei?
To Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. He always explores the heavier side of surrender within clear limits and with a safeword that works. Ask your question with no obligation through the contact form or first chat for free.
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The heavier side of surrender is something you can taste as roleplay within clear limits. On the service page you can read how I build a BDSM evening and what we agree on beforehand.
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Still have questions about dorei?
I am Victor. Does the heavier side of surrender pull at you, and do you want to know how to explore it safely and within limits? Send me a message. No obligation, I will message you back at your ease.