The captivity fantasy: power and surrender
The psychology behind the captivity fantasy: power, surrender and control, and how to explore it safely and consensually.
Glossary
Cage
The one piece of furniture in a play space that does nothing to you as long as you sit in it.
What is a cage in BDSM?
A cage (Dutch: kooi) is, in BDSM, a lockable structure of bars or mesh that someone is shut inside, left to wait until another person lets them out. A cage ties nothing down: it only takes the exit away. The little cage that closes around the penis is a chastity cage, and it does something completely different.
| Dutch term | kooi, the everyday word for a cage or pen |
| Also known as | bondage cage; the small model is a chastity cage, which sits as its own row in the A–Z list |
| Category | fixed furniture of a play space, within bondage |
| False friend | in everyday Dutch, kooi is more likely a sheep pen or a duck decoy, or a bunk on a ship |
| Where you find it | in a dungeon or kerker, rarely in people’s homes |
| Main risk | leaving someone alone who cannot get out on their own |
Where the word cage comes from
From animals, and only much later from people.
The Etymologiebank records coye in 1287, in des scaeps coye (the sheep’s pen), and traces it back to the Latin cavea: a place to keep wild animals. After that the meaning slides along with whoever lies inside it. By 1599 a koye int schip is a ship’s cabin, and in 1635 Mouringh crawls “te koy” (into his bunk). Sailors still call their bed that.
Outside the play space, then, a kooi in the Netherlands is usually about birds. The law even grants it a right of its own: article 8.5 of the Omgevingswet (Environment and Planning Act) forbids anyone but the decoyman from doing anything within the staking circle of an old duck decoy that would unsettle the ducks. Type “kooi” with no context and you get ducks sooner than bars.
What a cage does to you
Nothing. That is the whole idea.
So watch one thing more closely than the bars. The first rule of bondage safety is that you never leave someone who is locked up alone, that you stay sober, and that you keep something to open it fast within reach. With a cage that feels like overkill, because nothing is pulled tight. Which is exactly why it gets forgotten.
Where this fits on this site
I don’t have a cage, and people rarely ask me for one. What it usually comes down to is the feeling underneath: being put away, and not getting to decide when that stops. How you agree on that beforehand, you can read on the BDSM date page.
Sources
- kooi. Etymologiebank, hosted by the Instituut voor de Nederlandse Taal (Dutch Language Institute), with the entry from the Etymologisch Woordenboek van het Nederlands (Philippa et al., 2003-2009) and the one from De Vries (1971). Provides the Middle Dutch form coye from 1287 in des scaeps coye, the borrowing from Latin cavea “cage, place to keep wild animals”, the sense “cabin, hut” from 1530, koye int schip for a ship’s cabin and a ship’s bed from 1599, and the citation “Mouringh was te koy ekropen” from 1635.
- Omgevingswet, artikel 8.5 (afpalingsrecht eendenkooien). Wetten.overheid.nl, text in force as of 1 January 2026. Provides the prohibition on anyone other than the decoyman of a duck decoy that held a staking right on 31 March 1977 from carrying out activities within the staking circle that could disturb the ducks.
Related terms
A cage is a tool within bondage, and that is the page where the wider story sits.
- Bondage. The practice that locking someone up is one of the forms of.
- Kerker. The room where a cage like this usually stands, and the Dutch word for it.
- Dungeon. The same room under the name you rent it by.
- Chain. The other metal in that room, with a completely different purpose.
- Chastity cage. The little cage around the penis, which does something completely different from a cage a person fits into.
- Pillory. Confinement that does clamp, and that is built to be looked at.
- Sling. The piece of furniture that hangs in the same rooms and does the opposite: open instead of shut.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about a cage.
What is a cage in BDSM?
Does a cage also mean the little chastity cage?
Sometimes, and that is why it pays to ask further. In most conversations a cage is the barred enclosure a whole person fits into; a chastity cage is the little cage that closes around the penis and holds back an erection. The English word cage covers both those sizes, which explains the mix-up.
Who can you turn to with questions about a cage?
Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. He doesn’t have a cage of his own, but he can explain what being locked up does to people and how you agree on something like that beforehand. Ask your question through the contact form or first chat for free.
Blog
Articles about being locked up
A cage is one of the few things in a play space you don't bring yourself. These articles are about what being locked up does to you and where rooms like that stand.
SM Room for Rent: BDSM Rooms and Play Spaces in the Netherlands and Beyond
BDSM rooms and SM play spaces for rent across the Netherlands, Belgium, France and Germany: SM cottages, SM B&Bs, setup, prices and what to check.
Want to know more
Still have questions about a cage?
I'm Victor. I don't have a cage myself, but I know enough about the feeling underneath it to answer your question. Feel free to write; you're not committing to anything and I reply discreetly.
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