Gigolo in Münster

Almost Dutch

Münster feels familiar to Dutch people. Everyone cycles, the center is compact and old, and the atmosphere is that of a university city with sixty thousand students. On top of that it is close by, two and a half hours from Amsterdam, less from Twente or the Achterhoek.

For a date that is pleasant. Little travel time, surroundings that do not feel like abroad, and enough people on the street not to stand out.

What we can do together

The Prinzipalmarkt with its arcades, where you stay dry when it rains. The Promenade, a ring road for cyclists around the whole old city, laid out on the line of the old city wall. The Aasee, a lake at the edge of the center. And the Picasso museum, which is smaller and better than the name suggests.

Around the city lies the Münsterland: moated castles, avenues and cycle paths all the way into the Netherlands.

Language

Dutch, German or English. Münster lies so close to the border that Dutch surprises no one here.

Who I come here for

For married women for whom the conversation about this has long since stopped being held. Also for women who have been on their own since their divorce. For widows, in whom grief and longing run through each other. Just as much for academics and students who have everything under control except this.

Couples too. What is possible then is set out under my services.

Discretion in a manageable city

Münster is big enough for anonymity but small enough that people know one another, certainly within the university and the church world. I take that with me. I park where you want, bring no flowers, greet no one loudly, and if someone asks who I am, I stick to the story you have thought up.

Beyond that there is no one between us. No agency, no go-between, no colleague reading along, and no record with your name left in it. What we write to each other I keep no longer than needed.

If you would rather meet entirely outside the city, Osnabrück and Dortmund are a short hour away.

Practical

The distance is small: two and a half hours from Amsterdam, less from the east of the country. The travel costs are set to that, you hear them before anything is fixed, and after that the amount does not change, not even if the evening runs differently than we had planned.

No surcharge for the evening, the night, the weekend or a public holiday. A date with two people costs the same as alone.

Where we meet

Usually a hotel: neutral ground, no neighbors, no house that has to be tidied first, and a door that can be locked. If we stay longer than one night, an apartment often works more pleasantly. Its own entrance, no front desk to pass.

Home is of course possible too, provided you feel at ease there. That is the only criterion that counts. In a student building, or on a canal where everyone knows one another off the bike, we look together at how I best arrive.

How it goes

It starts with a message: where you are, roughly what you are looking for, when you could. I usually answer within a day, and then we write on. I ask something, you ask something, until you feel whether it is right. Rather call? That is possible. Rather have coffee on the Prinzipalmarkt first without anything else happening? That is fine too.

On the day itself we start slowly. First sit, first talk, and only when you are ready does the rest come. For most women that first part takes longer than they had estimated, and that is exactly as it should go.

After that it is quiet on my side. No message to ask how you found it, no reminder months later.

What you may expect from me

On time, well groomed, and without the rush of someone who has to be somewhere afterward. Listening without steering is the largest part of this work, and I do not startle. There really is little I have not heard before.

What you name as a boundary is a boundary. Even if you stretch it yourself. It goes as fast or as slow as you want. And about you I speak to no one, not to friends, not to others, never.

An afternoon outside the city

For anyone who is tense, an afternoon in the Münsterland works better than an hour across a table from each other. Cycling side by side saves eye contact. The conversation then runs on its own, and by the time we stop for coffee at Haus Rüschhaus or one of the other moated castles, you have already been talking for half an hour about things you tell no one at home.

It is also a way to start without a room being in the picture right away. What happens after that, or does not happen, then becomes a second decision instead of the first.

This is how it starts

Let me know your town, and when it would suit you. I write back, and nothing more is needed.