Gigolo in Bielefeld

The city that, so the joke goes, does not exist

Every German knows the Bielefeld conspiracy, the joke that the city does not exist. It exists all right, counts a good three hundred thousand inhabitants and sits against the wooded ridge of the Teutoburg Forest, which makes it one of the greener big cities in North Rhine-Westphalia.

Reckon on a good three hours from Amsterdam. A long evening I can manage, but you get more out of it with a night.

What we can do together

The Sparrenburg, the castle above the city, with a view over the valley. The Teutoburg Forest itself, where walking trails start right behind the last houses. The Kunsthalle, designed by Philip Johnson. And the Altstadt around the Alter Markt, where the evening is pleasant without getting crowded.

A little further lie the Hermannsdenkmal and the Externsteine, a rock formation that looks as if someone set it down there.

Language

German, English or Dutch. You choose and switching is fine.

Who I come here for

For women in a marriage where touch has become habit instead of attention over the years. Also for women who stayed on in the same neighbourhood after a divorce. For widows who feel guilty that they want something again, which they need not. Just as much for women in the surrounding villages, where social scrutiny is firmer than in the city.

For couples too. What is possible then you can read under my services.

What it is not

There is no agency, no go-between, no receptionist who puts you through. The message you send comes to me, I write back myself, and I am also the one standing at the door. There is no list we work through and no script I stay stuck in.

It is not an exam either. You do not have to look like someone off the internet and you do not have to apologise for your body, your age or the fact that you are here. I come for you the way you are that evening.

Practical

East Westphalia is the furthest corner on this site and you see that back in the travel costs. What they are you hear before anything at all is fixed, and the amount we name then is the amount. Nothing is added afterwards. Evening, night, weekend, public holiday, all the same rate. As a couple there is no surcharge.

Where we meet

Usually a hotel, in the city, or one on the edge where the forest begins. Neutral ground, a door that locks, and no house that has to be tidied first.

At your place works just as well. In Bielefeld itself that is rarely a problem; in Halle, Werther or Steinhagen I watch it more sharply. Where I park, what time I arrive, whether I walk the last stretch. We talk that through beforehand.

Doubts I often hear

“Paying for company, isn’t that strange?” You pay for the time and the attention of someone who has made it his craft. You do the same at a physiotherapist. What happens in that time you decide, and no one else.

“I am sixty-one, isn’t that too old?” No. The ages run from the early twenties to well into the seventies, and the group over fifty is the largest.

“And what if I am sitting there and I dare not do anything?” Then we talk for an evening and it was a good evening. There is no goal that has to be reached and I keep no list of what did or did not happen.

For couples

A fair share of the messages come from couples, not from women on their own. The reason varies. Sometimes one of them can or wants something no longer, sometimes it is curiosity, sometimes a fantasy that has been talked about for ten years without anything happening.

What it looks like is up to you. Being there, joining in, or waiting in the room next door. My only condition is that the two of you have really talked it over, not half a conversation in the car, and that either of you can say at any moment that it is done. On the way there still, too. For two people you pay me no more than for one.

What you can expect from me

I am at the door on time, I look well groomed and I am in no hurry anywhere. Listening is the biggest part of this work: listening without pushing you anywhere and without flinching. In all these years little has surprised me.

What you name as a limit I guard more strictly than you perhaps guard it yourself. And beyond that you exist nowhere. Not in a story to a friend, not as an anecdote, never.

This is how it starts

Send me a message with where you are and when it could work. Two lines is enough. Usually I answer within a day, and after that it goes at your pace.