Alias Tom

A book review of Gigolo Tom’s memoir

I don’t often read books about my own line of work. Usually there is too much fiction in them, too much show, too little of what the work really does to you. ‘Alias Tom’ is different. Gigolo Tom’s book reads like a conversation at the bar after closing time, when the show is over and someone finally tells you how it actually is.

For most people the word gigolo calls up glamour straight away: secret hotel rooms, a life with no consequences. Tom quietly clears that illusion off the table. What is left is more honest. And more interesting than the fantasy.

Who is Gigolo Tom?

Tom is a pseudonym, tied for years now to discretion and refinement. His clients are mostly successful women whose schedules are fuller than their love lives. Women who know exactly what they want and have no patience for the detours of dating. In ‘Alias Tom’ he finally lifts a corner of the veil.

Familiar to me, by the way. My own clients are rarely the lonely stereotype people picture. They are women who have their lives in order and choose, on purpose, for attention without any obligation.

What does the book tell you?

The book follows Tom’s life in a few clear moves. First his youth: the struggle with what a man is supposed to become, and how he worked his way loose from that, step by step. Then the work itself. Tom is strikingly candid about the long evenings, the tiredness nobody sees, and the moments when a meeting suddenly turns into something real instead of a service.

The most moving part is about love. Tom shows how hard it is to build a lasting relationship of your own when your work revolves around giving closeness to other people. No self-pity. Just honesty. That is rare in this genre.

Toward the end he finds some peace. Not by giving up the work, but by making his peace with who he has become.

Why do women deliberately choose a gigolo?

Where Tom and I really meet is in the reason women choose this. It is not a last resort. It is a choice for freedom. No judgment, no morning after where you have to explain yourself. Just attention, for exactly as long as it feels right.

That asks something more than charm from the man on the other side. It asks that you listen before you touch, and that you take her wishes seriously without judging them. In my line of work this is called RACK: risk-aware, consensual, and always with respect for each other. Tom does not write about it in those words, but what he describes comes down to the same thing. Safety and surrender sit perfectly well side by side. If anything, the first is what makes the second possible.

A growing genre

‘Alias Tom’ does not stand alone. More and more gigolos are writing about their lives, and that is good news. Every book gives a voice to a profession that has been dismissed for too long as something to be ashamed of, when at its core it is about something deeply human: connection.

As far as I am concerned, that is the heart of this work, and of this book. Not the show. The connection that is left once you strip the show away.

Do you feel like experiencing some of that yourself, without the show and without any obligation? Send me a message on WhatsApp. No pressure, no expectations, and I will text you back when it suits. Or see straight away how you can book me as your gigolo. Mostly after sincere attention and closeness? Then take a look at intimate togetherness too.