Plasseks

What is plasseks?

Plasseks is the Dutch word for sexual play with urine, in whatever form. The scene usually calls it watersports in English, and the clinical term is urolagnia. It covers peeing on someone, being peed on, watching, and holding it in until just before things go wrong. Plasseks is broader than a golden shower, which names a single act.

What people mean when they say plasseks

Four different things, and that is exactly why the word causes such confusion.

Someone who says she likes plasseks might mean she wants to be peed on, that she wants to pee on someone else, that she only wants to watch, or that what she is after is the strain of holding it in too long. That last form has almost nothing to do with liquid and everything to do with control.

An ordinary conversation about this starts with the form, then. “I find plasseks exciting” says so little that it barely says anything, and two people who mean different forms only find out under the shower.

Why people want plasseks

Because there is little that so clearly falls outside the rules.

• For you the gain is in giving up something you don’t allow yourself. Toilet training is the first rule you ever learned, and that makes it the most personal one to set aside for a moment.
• For the person doing it, it is proof the surrender is real, without anything involved that hurts or leaves a mark.
• For the two of you together, it comes down to the quality of the talk beforehand, because adjusting halfway through is not an option here.

Plasseks does not fix things. If something is off between two people, it is still off afterward. And the form with the least fuss, just watching, often gets skipped even though it is enough for many people.

How people arrange plasseks

The place first, the body second.

The usual order in practice: pick a room that can take a spill, agree which form it will be, and name separately whether the face and mouth take part. That last one is not a detail of the same plan. It is its own question, because that is where the mucous membranes are.

What marks the careful version is that something is arranged for afterward: warm water, a towel, and time. What marks the sloppy version is that it starts on impulse and the bathroom then takes over the conversation.

What plasseks is not

“Plasseks is the same as a golden shower.” The English word golden shower names exactly one thing. The Dutch word covers the whole field around it, watching and holding it in included.

“It has to be humiliation.” That is one frame out of several. Marking, surrender and plain arousal stand apart from it, and which of the four it is, you decide yourself. Degradation explains what that frame does look like when it is chosen on purpose.

What I see myself

I’m Victor, a gigolo, twenty-five years into BDSM and trained as a psychotherapist. This subject almost never reaches me as a question, but it does reach me as a sentence that breaks off halfway.

I also notice the watching version gets underrated. Plenty of women who are curious about this are happy just being there for it.

What you can do yourself

• Say which of the four forms you mean before you use the word plasseks, because it covers four different things.
• Choose the bathroom before you start on preferences. As long as the place is not settled, the conversation is secretly about the cleanup.
• Treat the face and mouth as a separate agreement, because that is a boundary of its own.
• Drink plenty of water beforehand, and rinse an eye that catches something anyway straight under the tap. Cuts and grazes stay out of it.
• Start with watching. That is a full form in its own right, not a half step.

More on plasseks

Within this glossary, golden shower describes the best-known act with the figures on how often it happens, degradation covers the frame plasseks is placed in most often, and fetish explains how a preference like this usually gets classified. On the blog, the piece on the power of sharing fantasies is about the conversation that comes before wishes like these.

Where this fits on this site

This word is not on my list of what I offer, and I won’t quietly slip it in. Still, almost anything is open to a conversation, so feel free to ask before you book. The BDSM date page shows how a talk like that goes.

Related terms

Plasseks is the Dutch umbrella word; the neighbors around it each name a part of it or the frame it falls in.

• Golden shower. The best-known act within plasseks, with the figures and the hygiene question.
• Degradation. The frame plasseks is placed in most often, and when that fits.
• Fetish. The category a preference like this usually gets filed under.
• Consent. Why, with plasseks, everything hangs on the talk beforehand and nothing on steering midway.
• Boundary. Where the question “do the face and mouth take part” belongs.
• Exhibitionism. The neighboring preference for anyone drawn most to the watching form.
• Watersports. The English slang word for the same field, and where that word gets ticked off in practice.