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The 20 Most Common Female Fantasies
The 20 most common female fantasies
These are the most common female fantasies: twenty desires that come up again and again in the conversations I have with women and couples. Every woman has her own scenarios. These themes surface the most often, from dominance and submission all the way to a spontaneous encounter with a stranger.
1. A threesome
Fantasies about sex with two partners at once, often a man and a woman, are very common. The idea of several lovers working together to please you is intensely arousing.
2. Dominance and submission
Many women fantasize about handing control to a dominant partner. These fantasies turn on power and the thrill of surrender. Taking on a role further from your everyday self, like animal play, works on that same desire: not having to decide anything for a while.
3. Sex with a stranger
The idea of an anonymous, one-time encounter with a total stranger offers a sense of adventure and risk-free passion.
4. Public sex
The chance of getting caught and the tension of sex in a public place, like a park or a club, pushes the arousal higher.
5. Role-play
Many women enjoy playing out different roles and scenarios, like a naughty student and a strict teacher, or a maid and her employer.
6. Sex with an authority figure
Fantasies about sex with a figure of authority, like a police officer or a boss, are often fueled by the tension of a power dynamic.
7. Sex with a celebrity
Dreaming about sex with a famous person, an actor or a musician, offers the pull of the unreachable.
8. Polyamory
The idea of having several lovers at once and exploring a polyamorous dynamic without jealousy or complications.
9. Bondage fantasies
The feeling of being tied up, with ropes or silk ribbons, can call up a deep sense of surrender and arousal.
10. Being led astray
Fantasies about subtle, gentle forms of persuasion, like being seduced by a charming lover who slowly draws you into his world.
11. Exploring SM
Exploring sadomasochistic dynamics like spanking or light humiliation can bring up intense emotional and physical arousal.
12. Sex with a woman
Many heterosexual women fantasize about sex with another woman. It can come from curiosity or from a specific pull toward same-sex intimacy.
13. Sex in unusual places
Dreaming about sex in strange or risky locations, like a plane or an elevator, brings its own element of adventure and tension.
14. Group sex
Taking part in group sex with several partners at once offers the thrill of complete sexual freedom.
15. Slow seduction
Fantasies about a slow, sensual seduction by a perfect lover who reads every move and every touch just right.
16. Watching and being watched
The idea of watching sex, or being watched during intimacy, can be an intense source of arousal.
17. You in the starring role
Fantasies in which you are the perfect lover who takes your partner to heights they did not know they had.
18. Another era
Dreaming about sex in a different time, like a medieval castle or a Victorian mansion, adds a touch of romance and adventure.
19. Sex in water
Fantasies about sex in or around water, like a pool or the beach, bring up images of warm, sensual touch.
20. Undressing slowly
Fantasies in which you slowly slip out of your clothes for a partner who watches, full of longing. Tension and anticipation fill the room.
The power of fantasies
It helps to understand that a fantasy is not always a reflection of what someone actually wants in real life. It is often a way to experiment with ideas of power and control in a safe space, at no real risk. Fantasies let us explore our desires and understand our own sexuality. They can even feed back into your actual sex life.
Tips for sharing and exploring fantasies
Here are a few tips to help you share and explore what runs through your head:
- Talk openly. Speak honestly with your partner about your fantasies. That builds trust and a safe space to explore.
- Set boundaries. Agree on limits beforehand and respect them. Both partners need to feel comfortable and safe.
- Start small. Try simple scenarios before you move into more complex fantasies.
- Use props. A book, a film, or a toy can help bring a fantasy to life and add an extra layer of arousal.
- Create a safe space. Make sure the setting where you explore feels comfortable and private.
You don’t have to act out any of these fantasies to get something from them. Sometimes it is enough to put them into words and notice you are not the only one who has them. And if you ever want to say one of them out loud to someone who won’t flinch? Then you know where to find me.