Anna is married to a gigolo #3: Victor’s new side job

This column first appeared on &C.

Anna never dared to hope she would one day find her match in Victor, a man who touches her deepest desires with ease. What she had counted on even less? That she would be the one who spurs her great love on to please women as a gigolo alongside his day job.

After months of dating, Victor and I became a couple. The sex dates slowly turned into more. Weekends away with a visit to his parents, dinners with friends, and even a day out at NEMO, the science museum, with my two kids. Victor has no children of his own, but I loved seeing him with mine. That big, tough man who made me see stars at night threw himself, playful and full of enthusiasm, into every experiment in the lab right alongside my children. After he had won my heart, Victor moved in with me fairly quickly.

We were really happy together, yet something kept nagging at Victor. He missed dating other women. Was he perhaps polyamorous? No, not exactly. Did we want to open up our relationship? No, not really either. ‘Wouldn’t you want to become a gigolo?’ I blurted out one evening in bed. I knew Victor had thought about becoming a professional Dom (a man who takes on the dominant role in BDSM activities, ed.) in the past, but that career had never gotten off the ground. ‘What if I helped you?’ I carefully went on. ‘I can write the copy for your website, and you can do it on top of your regular job so you don’t have to depend on it.’

Others might call me crazy. Who on earth encourages her partner to become a gigolo? But I would wish an intimate date with my man on every woman. Especially the women who could use it, the ones who have never had sex, for instance, or who have had bad experiences instead. To my mind Victor is well suited to that. He is calm, he listens closely to what you want, and he has a strength that makes your insecurities disappear. Things I have always found healing myself.

A few months later his website went live and he had his first date. Nerve-racking, but it felt right. We decided not to share his new ‘side job’ with the people around us. We only told one couple we are friends with who are part of the swinger scene; they are pretty open-minded and did not bat an eye. Neither Victor nor I are waiting for comments, so it is our little secret.

We did not set strict rules in advance. I only want to know where he is, and I do not want him using my pet name for other women. Victor is welcome to get on with his work when I am around, for example. In fact, he regularly sits texting women while he is next to me on the couch; that is simply part of the job. I know the women he sees regularly by first name, but I do not look at photos or read along in the chat. What the women look like does not interest me. I have honestly never been jealous of his clients. I only find it lovely when he comes home with positive stories and can really mean something to the women. I was completely fine with it, until the day he met Bianca.

To be continued.