Vaginismus and first-time pain: discovering it calmly
First-time pain rarely comes because it is meant to. What vaginismus is, why tension is the core of it, and how to approach it without pressure.
Glossary
Dyspareunia
The medical term for pain during sex, and the place to go when the trouble keeps coming back.
What is dyspareunia?
Dyspareunia (Dutch: dyspareunie) is the medical term for pain during sex, just before, during, or right after. There is surface dyspareunia, pain at the entrance of the vagina, and deep dyspareunia, pain further inside that is sometimes worse in certain positions. The causes range from too little arousal to infections or endometriosis.
| Dutch term | dyspareunie |
| Surface dyspareunia | pain at the entrance of the vagina, at the start of penetration |
| Deep dyspareunia | pain further inside, sometimes worse in certain positions |
| Possible causes | too little arousal and dryness, infections, skin conditions, endometriosis |
| How common | according to Thuisarts, about one in five women has pain during sex at some point |
| What to do | pain during sex is not normal; when it keeps coming back, the GP is the place |
What exactly hurts
With surface dyspareunia the pain, according to the Cleveland Clinic, is at the entrance of the vagina, at first entry. Deep dyspareunia gives pain further inside, and is often worse in certain positions. Both forms can occur separately or together, and the cause often decides which of the two it is.
What to watch for, and where to find help
Pain during sex is not normal, even though many women think it just comes with the territory. According to Thuisarts.nl, about one in five women has pain during sex at some point, and the GP is the place to start when the pain keeps coming back. What exactly is behind it for you, from too little arousal to an infection or endometriosis, cannot be worked out on this page.
Sources
- Dyspareunia (Painful Intercourse). Cleveland Clinic. Describes the distinction between surface and deep dyspareunia and where the pain sits with each form.
- Ik heb pijn bij vrijen (vrouw). Thuisarts.nl. Supplies the figure that about one in five women has pain during sex at some point and the advice to see the GP when the pain keeps coming back.
Related terms
- Sexual response cycle. Dyspareunia is closely tied to these phases of arousal, because too little arousal is one of the possible causes.
- Cervical orgasm. Another term where deep stimulation sometimes gives pain instead of pleasure.
- Vaginismus. A related term where the pelvic floor muscles tighten involuntarily, which can also give pain during sex.
- Menopause. A common reason penetration starts to hurt, through decreasing moisture.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about dyspareunia.
What is dyspareunia?
Dyspareunia is the medical term for pain during sex, just before, during, or right after. There is a surface form, with pain at the entrance of the vagina, and a deep form, with pain further inside.
What is the difference between surface and deep dyspareunia?
Surface dyspareunia gives pain at the entrance of the vagina, at the start of penetration; deep dyspareunia gives pain further inside. Deep dyspareunia is, according to the Cleveland Clinic, often worse in certain positions, and the two forms can occur separately or together.
Who can you turn to with questions about dyspareunia?
Your GP, and Thuisarts.nl, for the medical side of pain during sex. I am Victor, a gigolo, and I do not treat dyspareunia; this page explains a term and is not medical advice. If, separately from that, you have a question about intimacy or about what a date looks like, you can ask it with no obligation through the contact form or first chat for free.
Blog
Articles about pain during sex
This article is about vaginismus and first-time pain, and lines up closely with dyspareunia.
Want to know more
Questions about dyspareunia?
I am Victor, a gigolo. I do not treat dyspareunia, that starts with your GP. If on top of that you have a question about intimacy or about what a date looks like, I am glad to hear it. No obligation, I will message you back whenever it suits you.