The anus is the opening where the rectum comes out, the end of the digestive tract. Around it sit two sphincter muscles: an inner one you don’t consciously control and an outer one you tense yourself. The lower rim is sensitive, because it’s full of nerves.

Why does anal sex need lube and time?

Anal sex needs lube and time because the anus makes no fluid of its own and you can’t consciously open one of the two sphincter muscles. The mucous membrane is also thin and quick to damage. Water-based lube and building up slowly do the work that forcing never manages.

Who can you turn to with questions about the anus?

For medical questions about the anus, like complaints or pain, your family doctor is the right place. As for me, I’m Victor, a gigolo, and I’m happy to talk about anal sex that goes calmly and without rush, with no obligation or through free chat .

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Glossary

Anus

The outer end of the rectum, with two sphincter muscles, one of which refuses to take orders.

What is the anus?

Anus is the opening where the rectum comes out, the last rim of the digestive tract. Around it lie two sphincter muscles: an inner one that stays closed on its own and that you don’t consciously control, and an outer one that you tense and relax yourself. The lower rim is full of nerves and sensitive because of it.

What it is	the outer end of the rectum, where the digestive tract ends
Two sphincter muscles	the inner one (involuntary, you don’t steer it) and the outer one (voluntary)
Resting pressure	the inner sphincter keeps things closed on its own
Sensitivity	the lower rim is somatically innervated, sensitive to pressure, temperature, and pain
For anal sex	lube and time, because the mucous membrane is thin and makes no fluid of its own

How do the two sphincter muscles work?

The two sphincter muscles do different jobs. The outer one you can tense on purpose, to hold something in, say. The inner one is smooth muscle tissue that stays closed on its own, without you doing anything, and it won’t open on command no matter how much you want it to. According to StatPearls, the pectinate line splits the anus in two: below it, the anus is somatically innervated through the pudendal nerve and so sensitive to pain, temperature, and touch. That is exactly what makes the area so sensitive, in the pleasant sense and the unpleasant one.

Why does this matter for anal sex?

Because you can’t command one of the two sphincter muscles, anal sex turns on relaxation, time, and lube, not force. The anus makes no lube of its own. The mucous membrane is also thin and quick to damage, NHS inform warns, and water-based lube helps prevent that. Try to overrule the inner sphincter in a hurry and you are working against the anatomy. Building up slowly does what forcing never manages. That is not technique. That is patience.

What the anus is not

The anus is not the same as the rectum. It is the opening with the sphincter muscles; the rectum is the stretch of bowel that sits above it. And numb it is certainly not. The lower rim is richly innervated, which explains why touch lands so strongly there, pleasant as well as painful. That is also why haste and dryness hit harder here than elsewhere.

Where this fits on this site

If you want to explore anal sex with someone who takes the time and forces no step, take a look at my services. You can also just ask something first, calmly and without committing to anything.

Sources

Anatomy, Abdomen and Pelvis: Anal Canal. StatPearls, NCBI Bookshelf. Gives that there are two sphincter muscles, that the inner one is involuntary smooth muscle tissue and the outer one is under conscious control, and that the part below the pectinate line is somatically innervated and sensitive to pain, temperature, and touch.
Types of sex. NHS inform. Gives that the mucous membrane of the anus and rectum is thin and easily damaged during sex, that water-based lube helps prevent that, and that anal sex carries a higher risk of STIs.

Sexual response cycle. The model of arousal and relaxation where touching the anus, if you enjoy that, can find a place.
Anal sex. The practice where this anatomy matters most: lube, time, and relaxation instead of force.
Anal training. Getting used to more step by step, precisely because the inner sphincter won’t cooperate on command.

Frequently asked questions

Questions about this term

What is the anus?
The anus is the opening where the rectum comes out, the end of the digestive tract. Around it sit two sphincter muscles: an inner one you don’t consciously control and an outer one you tense yourself. The lower rim is sensitive, because it’s full of nerves.
Why does anal sex need lube and time?
Anal sex needs lube and time because the anus makes no fluid of its own and you can’t consciously open one of the two sphincter muscles. The mucous membrane is also thin and quick to damage. Water-based lube and building up slowly do the work that forcing never manages.
Who can you turn to with questions about the anus?
For medical questions about the anus, like complaints or pain, your family doctor is the right place. As for me, I’m Victor, a gigolo, and I’m happy to talk about anal sex that goes calmly and without rush, with no obligation or through free chat.

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