Glossary
Lubricant
The simplest aid there is, with one rule you have to know: oil and latex don't go together.
What is lubricant?
Lubricant (short: lube) is a product that removes friction during sex and so makes penetration, masturbation or toy use smoother. There are three types: water-based, silicone-based and oil-based. Each has its own limits, mostly around condoms and toys.
| Dutch term | glijmiddel |
| Category | an aid for safer sex and sex in general |
| Three types | water-based, silicone-based, oil-based |
| Safest with condoms | water-based and silicone-based; oil not |
| Watch out with toys | silicone lubricant damages silicone toys |
| Core rule | oil and latex don’t go together |
The three types and their limits
Choosing a lubricant comes down to what you combine it with. According to the encyclopedia, oil-based lubricant such as petroleum jelly raises the chance that a latex condom tears or slips off, because the latex loses its elasticity. That same source advises against silicone-based lubricant with silicone toys, because it can damage the surface. Water-based lubricant does go with both latex condoms and silicone toys. Soa Aids Nederland sums up the rule of thumb simply: with condoms you use water-based or silicone-based lubricant, no oil.
Why people use it
Lubricant makes pleasant what otherwise chafes. For anyone who makes too little of their own moisture, through tension, medication or menopause, it makes the difference between pain and pleasure. With anal sex it’s not an extra but a condition, because the anus makes no moisture of its own. And during a long session, topping up keeps things smooth.
It’s no sign that something is wrong, by the way. Little moisture says nothing about arousal, and keeping a bottle within reach saves a lot of needless discomfort.
Where this fits on my site
I take my time, and having lubricant within reach simply belongs to that. If you want to try something where calm and smoothness make the difference, I’m glad to hear it; what such an unhurried evening looks like is on the page about intimate togetherness. Feel free to ask whatever you want to know.
Sources
- Personal lubricant. Wikipedia. Provides the three types of lubricant and the finding that oil raises the chance of a tearing latex condom and silicone lubricant damages silicone toys, while water-based goes with both.
- Condoms and safer sex. Soa Aids Nederland (Dutch). Provides the rule of thumb that with condoms you use water-based or silicone-based lubricant and no oil.
Related terms
Lubricant is an aid for safer sex, the way to make sex more pleasant and safer.
- Safer sex. The pillar: how you make sex safer, with lubricant as one of the building blocks.
- Condom. What the most important rule is about: no oil with it, because that wrecks the latex.
- Latex. The material of most condoms, which oil damages.
- Anal training. Where lubricant is not an extra but a condition, because the anus makes no moisture of its own.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about lubricant.
Who can you turn to with questions about lubricant?
Victor, a gigolo with around twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. He takes his time and makes no fuss about lubricant, not even when your body makes little of its own moisture for a while. You can ask him a question through the contact form or chat for free first.
Learn more
Still have questions about lubricant?
I'm Victor, gigolo. I take my time, and smoothness belongs to that, without making anything special of it. Want to ask something? Ask it, no strings attached, and I'll message you back at your own pace.