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Glossary
69
The best-known number in the sexual vocabulary, and the position that gets named far more often than it gets done.
What is 69?
69 (French: soixante-neuf) is a sex position where two people lie facing each other so that each person’s mouth is at the other’s genitals, so they orally pleasure each other at the same time. The name comes from the shape the two bodies make together: the figure 69. It works most easily when both partners are roughly the same height.
| English term | sixty-nine. French supplied the original, soixante-neuf, and that word is still used in Dutch: the Dutch encyclopedia entry is even filed under it. |
| Also known as | soixante-neuf, sixty-nine, mutual oral sex |
| Category | sex position, form of oral sex |
| Applies to | two people, of any gender and any orientation |
| Main caveat | your attention is split: you give and receive at once, and for plenty of people those two don’t go together |
Why is it called 69?
The name is a picture. Two digits set against each other, exactly the way two bodies lie in this position. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, the sexual meaning shows up in English in 1888, as a translation of the French faire soixante-neuf, literally “doing 69”.
Why do people do 69?
The appeal is in the simultaneity: nobody is lying there waiting for their turn, and there is no giver and receiver. That makes 69, for a lot of people, the most equal position there is.
What it doesn’t give you is deep concentration. Anyone who wants to fully let go often notices that half their attention sits with the other person. There are no separate Dutch figures on 69 itself; on oral sex there are. In Rutgers’ Monitor Seksuele Gezondheid 2023, among 12,551 Dutch people, oral sex was part of the last time they had sex for 58 percent: 60 percent of the men and 55 percent of the women. Common, then, but not a given. On an evening of intimate togetherness no position is fixed; I follow whatever feels good for you in the moment.
Sources
- Monitor Seksuele Gezondheid 2023. Rutgers, 2024. National survey of 12,551 Dutch people; supplies the figures on how often oral sex occurs (table 2.1.5).
- sixty-nine. Online Etymology Dictionary, Douglas Harper. Dates the sexual meaning to 1888 and traces the origin to the French faire soixante-neuf.
- 69 (sex position). Wikipedia. The definition of the position and the caveat that it gets awkward with a big height difference.
Related terms
- Glossary. 69 is on nearly every sexual checklist, and those checklists are full of the other terms in this glossary.
- Kink list. The list where 69 sits as a single line, with room for yes, maybe or no.
- Sub list. The list where this is one of the hundred and fifty lines.
- Oral sex. The umbrella that 69 is a simultaneous version of, with the Dutch figures alongside it.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about 69.
What is 69?
69 is a sex position where two people lie facing each other so they orally pleasure each other at the same time. In French it’s called soixante-neuf, in English sixty-nine. The position works most easily when both partners are roughly the same height.
Why is the position called 69?
Because the two digits of 69 make the same shape as two bodies lying against each other. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary the sexual meaning shows up in English in 1888, as a translation of the French faire soixante-neuf: “doing 69”.
Who can you turn to with questions about 69?
Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience and a background as a psychotherapist. You can ask him a question with no obligation through the contact form or first chat for free, even about things you’d feel awkward raising with someone else.
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Still have questions about 69?
I'm Victor. Questions about what does and doesn't feel good in bed reach me every day, and rarely from someone who dares to ask them anywhere else. Feel free to send me a message. No obligation, I'll text you back whenever it suits you.