For you, if everyone leans on you
Being nobody for a while, and leaving the rest to me
A breather within your life, not an escape from it. You hold the frame, I take the lead.
Sound familiar?
Everyone leans on you. Who do you lean on?
Hi, I’m Victor. Chances are you’re reading this in between two other things.
At work you make the calls. At home you keep track of everything, down to every birthday in the family. You’re good at it, and that’s not the point. The point is that there’s nowhere left where you get to be nothing at all. And if you don’t run a department but carry an enormous amount at home, more than anyone on the outside sees? Then that exhaustion is exactly the same.
And sometimes, in a cab or on a hotel bed, you notice you don’t even know anymore what you’d want. If nobody needed anything from you.
It often comes after an exhausting stretch, like a project that swallowed everything for months. Or you suddenly realize you haven’t done a single thing in years that was only yours. Some women then book a gigolo for a weekend at the last minute, as their very first date. Others first take a trip on their own, on purpose.
Maybe this sounds familiar
Every birthday in your calendar
Everyone’s. Nobody else keeps track of them.
"Mom?" through the bathroom door
Right when you wanted five minutes alone.
Tomorrow's list at eleven p.m.
The light is off, but your head is still on.
The long hug
The one you always give. And almost never get.
A hotel bed, and sudden silence
Finally an evening off, and you don’t know what you want to do with it.
Still taking care, even then
Even when someone does something for you, you check whether they’re enjoying themselves.
This is a breather, not an escape
Let me set one thing straight right away: you don’t need to get away from your life. You love what you’ve built. What you’re looking for is a pause within it. An evening, or a few days, where things are allowed to go one way.
That may feel selfish. It isn’t. Someone who always gives is allowed to receive for once, without having to seduce or check whether the other person is getting what he wants.
Professionally, I’m a psychotherapist. I quickly see what a life full of roles does to someone, but I don’t turn it into treatment. You come to be nobody for a while, not to work on yourself.
If nothing changes, you stay the one everyone leans on, until there’s little left of you. It doesn’t have to be an escape, just a breather. Now it’s your turn.
A few days where you don't have to arrange anything
Picture this: you arrive, and everything is already taken care of. The hotel and tonight’s table. Your phone stays off, because today nobody is calling “Mom?”. You don’t have to choose where we eat. I do that.
Beforehand you tell me your limits and your wishes. After that, you don’t have to decide anything. You hold the frame, and within that frame I take the lead, calmly, without you handing over anything you don’t want to give up.
One evening, or an erotic overnight stay where everything is ready for you, can already do a lot. Sometimes an hour of being held is enough to walk out lighter afterward, standing tall.
But truly stepping out only happens when you have a few days, maybe with a morning at the spa. After a few days like that, you often know again what you want yourself, when nobody needs anything from you. Read more about that under arrangements, for example a few days in Amsterdam. Want to go one step further in letting go? Then read about a date where I take the lead.
Does the pressure sit mostly in your work and your calendar? Then read gigolo for successful women. If you want to go further in letting go than rest, that’s on make a fantasy come true.
Want to feel first whether this suits you?
A message is enough. Then we call or video call, so you know who I am before you commit to anything.
Why me
I’m in my early fifties, and unhurried. Taking the lead comes naturally to me, and your limits stay yours. Humiliation has no part in it. Ever.
I prepare an arrangement of a few days carefully. We message, we video call, and during that conversation you get a photo of me, so you know who’ll be sitting across from you.
No agency sits in between, and I pick who I see. For you that means one man, who already knows your wishes before you arrive.
How it works
From a first message to not having to do anything
A message
What you're looking for, and how much time you have. An evening or a few days.
A call or video call
We get to know each other, and you get a photo of me. That way you know who's coming.
Your limits and wishes, once
You tell me beforehand what's okay and what isn't. After that you don't have to decide a thing. You only pay once everything is agreed and you've given your consent.
Everything arranged
I arrange the place and the restaurant. All you have to do is show up.
Letting go within your frame
I take the lead, within the agreements you made. Everything can be discussed, nothing is required!!
Always a way back
Stopping, or going home after all, is possible at any moment.
Discreet, because people in your circle know you
Your first name is enough
Your job title and last name don’t matter here.
Deleted afterward
I delete photos and messages afterward. I don’t have a client file.
No photo of me online
Nowhere online is there a photo where you’d recognize me.
No texts from me
I never message you first. If you run into me somewhere, I don’t know you.
Outside your own city
We meet somewhere nobody knows you in all your roles.
Nothing that stands out on your statement
Cash works. If you transfer it, the statement says coaching.
"Yes, but..."
- “I can never really let go.” It doesn’t have to happen all at once. I take over the lead so you don’t have to, and everything is arranged before you arrive.
- “Am I allowed to do this, with everything going on at home?” This isn’t an escape from your life. It’s a breather within it. Someone who always carries others is allowed to be carried for once.
- “I don’t want to lose control, but I don’t want to arrange anything either.” Those go together just fine. You hold the frame: your limits, what’s okay and what isn’t. Within that frame, I lead.
- “Isn’t this selfish?” It’s allowed to go one way. That’s exactly what it is.
- “What if I feel guilty?” That’s allowed. Mostly it shows how well you always take care of others. This time it’s your turn.
Women who let go for a while
Over time your thoughts, your feelings and the atmosphere start to play together, and a reality of its own arises, a safe place to feel delicious. Over time you really start to feel it and believe it: that you truly are as precious as he treats you. Three days, it's full immersion.
After a while of online contact, we arranged to meet, and oh, how exciting I found it, out of my comfort zone. Even so, I felt at home with him right away. Victor gave me the trust to surrender myself to him completely and safely. I never thought I would ever experience this in such a safe, loving way.
I didn't know what to expect when I reached out to you, but what you gave me was more than I could ever have thought. You were more tender than I could have imagined, more understanding, more caring, more genuine. I felt so seen and so heard and so cared for.
Now it's your turn
Send me a message with how much time you have. I’ll take care of the rest. Nobody but me sees your message.
If a day is already on your mind, add it.
Frequently asked questions
What women who want to be nobody for a while ask me
Can I set my limits beforehand and then not have to decide anything?
Yes, that’s exactly the idea. You tell me beforehand what’s okay and what isn’t, and after that I make the decisions within that frame. You can always adjust or stop.
How does a multi-day arrangement work?
We message and video call first, and during that conversation you get a photo of me. We go over your wishes and limits, and then I arrange the rest. You can read more under arrangements.
Where do we stay, and who arranges it?
I arrange a place that suits you, outside your own city if you like. If you have a preference yourself, we go with that.
Can it be just rest and touch?
Yes. Being held without anything more being required is a full date. You can read more about it under touch and skin hunger.
What if I want to go home halfway through?
Then you go. No explanation needed, and I won’t hold it against you. You always have the final say.
What does it mean that you take the lead?
That you don’t have to choose where we eat, what we do, or when. I make those decisions, within the limits you set beforehand. Humiliation never has a part in it.
How do you make sure nobody recognizes me?
There’s no recognizable photo of me online, and I delete photos and messages afterward. We meet outside your own circle. It’s all spelled out on my privacy page.