For the two of you, if you want a man there together
Two women, adding a man who is the guest
Your bond stays the centre. I do what we agree, and at the agreed moment I'm gone.
Does this sound familiar?
You're looking for a man, and mostly you find supply
Hi, I’m Victor. Chances are one of you is reading this and the other will read along in a minute.
You’ve been talking about it for a while. A man there, one evening, together. At some point you made a profile, or you only looked. Within an hour the messages came in, and almost none of them were about you.
There was the man who asked whether you’re “really” lesbian. The man who had already scripted his own film, with the two of you as the set. And the man who acted as though he’d come to convince you of something. After that it went back to talking, because that wasn’t how you wanted it.
The two of you might recognise this
Fifty messages in an hour
And not one question about what you’re looking for yourselves.
"Are you really lesbian?"
The third man to ask. As though you have to prove something before the conversation may start.
The man with the leading role
You read his message together and looked at each other. No words needed.
Still clicking at one in the morning
One of you reads on while the other is already asleep. Not for the first time.
"What if it changes things between us?"
Neither of you ever asks that out loud. It hangs there anyway.
The conversation that comes back
Every six months you talk about it again, and it goes no further.
A man there doesn't change who you are
Let me say this straight away: that you want this says nothing about your relationship and nothing about who you are. You don’t have to relabel yourselves because a man is there for one evening.
You’re also not a double act and not somebody else’s fantasy. Here it’s about what you want, asked per person. Being a couple doesn’t mean you want the same thing.
I’m a psychotherapist by background, so I read the dynamic between you well. This is not relationship therapy. A third person also repairs nothing that’s already chafing, which is why I ask honest questions up front.
If nothing changes, this stays a conversation that comes back every six months, or it ends with a man who sees the two of you as scenery. It can go differently, with someone who is the guest and means it that way.
An evening where the two of you stay the centre
Imagine this: your own home or a hotel room, the lights low, and the agreements already set. Who wants what, who watches and who joins in, and how you stop. I come in, and first we take the time to land.
Maybe you both want it with me. Maybe one of you is mostly the one watching, and that’s not second place. And maybe I’m mainly there to do what you ask, while the two of you stay the centre. Your pace steers, and there are two stop signals that are both absolute.
At the agreed moment I leave, so you find each other again. What stays is that afterglow of the two of you.
The service itself is under female couple and trio experience. If you’re a man and a woman, adding a man as a couple is your page. And if there’s a difference in power in it for you, read more at make a fantasy come true.
Meet each other first?
A message from one of you is enough. Then we talk, over a video call or a drink, with nothing required.
Why me
I’m in my early fifties and calm. Not a man coming to stage his own film, and not a man who takes over the room.
I see you as a couple, and at the same time as two women with wishes of your own. What each of you wants, I agree per person and not with you as a package.
I’m straight, and I’m not here to convince anyone of anything. About your relationship or your orientation I ask no questions that aren’t about tonight.
If you want a difference in power in it, I have over 25 years of BDSM experience, with calm dominance. I work alone, and I choose who I meet myself.
How it works
From a first message to your evening
A message from one of you
Who it comes from doesn't matter. One question is enough.
A conversation with the two of you
A video call or over a drink. You see whether it clicks, and so do I.
What each of you wants
Per person, not as a couple. Who joins in, who watches, what's on and what isn't.
Meeting without sex
A coffee or a drink. Nothing has to happen that time.
The evening itself
Your pace steers. Two stop signals, both absolute. Everything can be discussed, nothing is required!!
Closing
I leave at the agreed moment, so the two of you can carry on together.
Discreet, for both of you
First names are enough
I don’t need profiles, photos or social media from you.
One shared conversation
Everything goes through the two of you. No messages with one of you on the side.
Nothing kept
Our messages get deleted, and there’s no client list.
From outside your circle
I’m not from your area, and outside the appointment I don’t know you.
Filming only by agreement
Photos or video are only possible if we agree it beforehand. Nothing is shared, and I’m never recognisable on camera.
Nothing odd on the statement
Cash is fine. By bank it says coaching.
"Yes, but..."
- “Do we have to call ourselves something else now?” No. One evening with a man there doesn’t change who you are, and nobody hears a label from me.
- “Do you do something with both of us, or with one of us?” Whatever you agree beforehand. Both is possible, one of you is possible, and it may still change along the way.
- “What if one of us stops halfway?” Then we stop. Two stop signals, and both count without explanation.
- “Will you talk her round if she hesitates?” Never. If one of you hesitates we wait, and I say that myself.
- “Can one of us just watch?” Yes. Watching is a role, not second place.
- “What if it changes us?” That question belongs in the conversation beforehand, and I’d rather ask it than skip it.
What others wrote about the agreements
I had found Victor and the contact was exceptionally pleasant. Good first impression and professional. We arranged to meet at a hotel, he kept to his agreements neatly. Discovered and experienced a few boundaries together with her. A nice click and good teamwork. Wonderful night with lovely people!
Victor is an attentive, intelligent man with a good sense of humor. His calm presence combined with his humor gives you a safe feeling. He senses your mood flawlessly and, in his own unique way, knows how to create a pleasant atmosphere. He respects his date, her boundaries and wishes.
I didn't know what to expect when I sought contact with you, but what you gave me was more than I could ever have thought up. You were more tender than I had dared to hope, more understanding, more caring, more genuine. I felt so seen, so heard, so held. You are unique and precious.
Together, with a guest there
Send me a message, one of you is enough. Then we’ll see calmly whether this fits you. It comes to me, and to nobody else.
If you have an evening in mind, mention it.
Frequently asked questions
What female couples often ask me
Do you do something with both of us, or with one of us?
Whatever you agree beforehand. Both is possible, and one of you is possible too, while the other watches or joins in as she wants. I ask per person, because being a couple doesn’t mean you want the same thing. It may still change along the way, including towards less.
Do we have to call ourselves something else if we do this?
No. One evening with a man there doesn’t change who you are or what you call yourselves. Many female couples see this as one experience inside their own relationship, and nothing more. Nobody hears a label from me, and I don’t ask about it either.
What if one of us changes her mind halfway?
Then we stop. There are two stop signals and both count, without explanation and without a sigh behind it. We agree beforehand what the signal is and what happens next: I withdraw, or I leave straight away, whichever you prefer. That the other still wants to go on changes nothing about it.
Can one of us just watch?
Yes. Watching is a role, not second place. Some women mainly want to see their girlfriend enjoy herself, and that works well as long as we name it that way beforehand. We also agree whether you can step in if you want to halfway, and whether you’d rather stay in the same room or another one.
What do you expect from us as a couple?
That you both want it yourselves, and that you tell me beforehand what’s off limits. Beyond that I expect nothing. You don’t have to put on a show, prove anything or act out a scenario. I don’t need to be the centre either, and usually I’m not.
Where do we meet, and who arranges the room?
Your own home works, and so does a hotel. Say where you feel most at ease. Who books the room is something we agree in the conversation beforehand, and if you’d rather leave it to me, I’ll arrange it. I travel to you, in the Netherlands and beyond.
Can there be a difference in power in it?
That’s possible, and it gets negotiated beforehand. I have over 25 years of BDSM experience, with calm dominance, and I can just as easily take the role you give me. Humiliation is never part of it by default, and your hard limits go in writing on the consent form.