For the two of you, when the fantasy is ready
Adding a man as a couple, safely and with the two of you at the center
Daring something together, with a man who respects your bond and follows her pace.
Sound familiar?
You've been talking about it for years
Hi, I’m Victor. Chances are one of you is reading this, and the other will be looking over your shoulder soon.
Friday night, the kids are asleep. One of you brings it up, half joking: a friend recently had a threesome. The conversation lasts until two in the morning. Not for the first time.
Your relationship is good, and maybe that’s exactly why you dare to look further together. For one couple that’s a threesome with her at the center. For another it’s exploring BDSM together, or finally going to a swingers club as a pair. You once posted an ad on a swingers site: couple seeks man. Within an hour the messages poured in, from men who mostly wanted her. After that, it stayed at talking.
Maybe this sounds familiar
The trial balloon at dinner
“A friend recently had a threesome.” You both act as if it’s just a passing comment.
Still clicking at one a.m.
After a video or an article. One of you keeps reading while the other sleeps.
The flood of messages
Single men who mostly want her, and nobody who sees the two of you together.
Candles and one drink
You make it cozy, and still the tension sits in your stomach.
The quiet fear
That it goes the way it does in porn. That she becomes the entertainment instead of the one it’s all about.
"Do you want this as much as I do?"
Neither of you ever asks it out loud. But the question is there.
Together and open isn't the same as cheating
Let me say this right away: the fact that you’re looking here says nothing bad about your relationship. If anything, the opposite. This is a conscious choice you make together, and that’s exactly what sets it apart from sneaking around.
You don’t have to put a label on yourselves. Many couples simply see themselves as monogamous, with one exception they choose together.
Often it hangs on a moment, like an anniversary or a birthday. Or you finally found a word for what you’d both felt for years. One thing, though: as a surprise gift, a threesome rarely works. Only once you’ve both said yes beforehand, separately.
By profession I’m a psychotherapist. I read the dynamic between you well, but this isn’t couples therapy. A third person doesn’t fix anything that’s already broken, and that’s why I ask honest questions beforehand.
If nothing changes, the fantasy stays a Friday-night conversation, or you try it with the wrong man. Trying isn’t the risk. The wrong man is. Daring something together is allowed, as long as you both want it.
An evening where her pleasure is at the center
Picture this: candles, dim light, and the agreements are already in place. Who wants what, what’s okay and what isn’t, and how you stop if you need to. I come in, and first we take the time to settle in.
Her pace sets the evening. If she slows down, so do I. We agree on his role beforehand: watching, joining in, or taking a break. I never push him aside, because you’re a team and I’m the guest.
At the agreed moment I leave, so the two of you can carry on together. What stays is that afterglow between you: we did it. And a shared secret that belongs only to the two of you.
Are you two women? Then two women adding a man is your page, and the service itself is under female couple. You can read more about a threesome with a couple under couples. Looking for a second couple to join you? Then have a look at double couple. Every option for couples is listed under for couples.
Does this come mostly from him, because he wants to see her desired? Then read on at hotwife experience. And if she wants it while he still hesitates, he still hesitates is your page.
Want to get acquainted together first?
A message from one of you is enough. Then we talk, over a video call or a drink, with nothing required.
Why me
For most couples, reliability counts the most, and right after that, feel: someone who understands what’s going on between you. That’s also why a professional is a sensible first choice. No attachment develops, and the agreements are clear. Couples are explicitly welcome with me, by the way, with no surcharge. I keep my agreements, and what we agree on beforehand stands.
I’m in my early fifties, and calm. No young macho full of bravado. I see the two of you as a unit, and him as a teammate. I’m straight, so contact between us as men isn’t part of it. I say that beforehand, so nobody is left wondering.
I talk with both of you, and I always hear her yes separately. It has to be right for both of you, not because one talked the other into it.
How it works
From a first message to your evening
A message from one of you
It doesn't matter who sends it. After that we talk in one shared thread with both of you.
Her yes, heard separately
I talk with both of you, and I also ask about her wishes and limits on her own.
Getting acquainted without sex
A video call or a drink. If it isn't a fit, we stop there, no hard feelings.
Agreements beforehand
Kissing or not, what's okay and what isn't, at the same time or taking turns, and how we stop. Not a laundry list, just clarity. Everything can be discussed, nothing is required!!
The evening itself
Her pace leads. Stopping applies to everyone, immediately.
Wrapping up as agreed
I leave at the agreed moment. Afterward I send one message to both of you, and nothing more. Want to do it again later, with the same man? You can. Would you rather keep it to one time on purpose, to avoid attachment? That's fine too.
Discreet, for both of you
First names are enough
I don’t need to know more about you than that.
Nothing saved
I don’t keep our messages, and there’s no client file here.
Never separate contact
Everything goes through the two of you together. I never message one of you on your own, and I don’t look you up on social media.
From outside your circle
I come from outside your social circle, and outside our date I don’t know you.
Photos only by agreement
Want photos or a video? That’s only possible if we agree on it beforehand, and I’m never recognizable in the shot.
Nothing that stands out on your statement
Cash is fine. Pay by bank and it just says coaching.
"Yes, but..."
- “Will it stay safe for our relationship?” That’s why we talk about limits and wishes in depth beforehand. A third person doesn’t fix anything that’s already broken, so I ask honest questions before we commit to anything.
- “Will he feel left out?” That fear is often the strongest one, and it’s good to name it. We agree on his role beforehand, and I never push him aside. Not even if he’s afraid of being compared, or feels lonely while watching.
- “Will this change us? And what if one of us gets jealous?” Jealousy is allowed to be there. We agree beforehand what you’ll do if it shows up: pause for a moment, or stop. If I stay on your minds for a while afterward, that’s something you talk about together. No message from me will stir it back up.
- “We don’t have clear agreements yet.” They don’t need to be set yet. It helps if you can talk about it openly together, and the rest takes shape in the conversation with me.
- “What if one of us wants to stop halfway?” Then we stop, immediately and for everyone.
- “Will you contact one of us afterward?” Never separately. Everything goes through the two of you together.
- “Can we take photos?” Only if we agree on it beforehand, and I’m never recognizable in the shot.
What others wrote about it
I had found Victor and the contact was exceptionally pleasant. Good first impression and professional. We arranged to meet at a hotel, he kept to his agreements neatly. Discovered and experienced a few boundaries together with her. A nice click and good teamwork. Wonderful night with lovely people!
Victor is a sweet, reliable man who has no hidden agenda and keeps to his agreements. I felt enormously at ease with him. On top of that, the personal contact via WhatsApp beforehand is also really nice, so that (especially for a first meeting) you're not immediately facing a complete stranger. Victor is wonderful to cuddle with.
Victor is the best gift you can give yourself. Whether you're curious about bdsm or already have experience with it. It doesn't matter. He sees you as a person. Because of him I'm whole again. Victor gives you a good feeling, a safe feeling. And he does everything with you within your boundaries. Don't doubt it.
Dare something together
Send me a message, one of you is enough. Then we’ll see together whether this fits you. Your message reaches only me.
If you two already have a date in mind, put it right in.
Frequently asked questions
What couples often ask me
Will you kiss my partner?
Only if you both want that. Whether there’s kissing or not, we agree on beforehand, and that agreement holds all evening.
What if one of us wants to stop halfway?
Then we stop, immediately and for everyone. Nobody has to explain anything.
Do you stay afterward, or leave right away?
We agree on that beforehand. Usually I leave at the agreed moment, so the two of you can carry on together.
Will you do anything with my partner if he's a man?
No. I’m straight, so contact between us as men isn’t part of it. I say that beforehand, so it’s clear for everyone.
Can we take photos?
Only if we agree on it beforehand. I’m never recognizable in the shot, and whatever you make stays with you.
Who books the room?
We decide that together. I’m happy to think along about a place where you both feel comfortable.
Do you also work with two women?
Yes. As a couple of two women you’re welcome too. You can read more under female couple.