Glossary
YMMV
The four-letter caveat that brings a tip back to what it is: something that may turn out differently for you.
What is ymmv?
YMMV stands for your mileage may vary. It’s a caveat: what works for me doesn’t have to work for you. In the scene you tack it onto a tip or an experience, to signal that it may land differently for you.
| English term | your mileage may vary, identical |
| Literally | the mileage you get may differ from the rating |
| Category | a caveat on advice, not an act or a role |
| Origin | American car advertising, the 1970s and 1980s |
| In the scene | tacked onto a tip or experience, because bodies and preferences differ |
Where ymmv comes from
Its origin isn’t in the scene but in advertising. According to Wiktionary, American carmakers had to base their fuel-economy figures on standard tests from the EPA environmental agency, and because no test mirrors every driving style, a disclaimer came standard: “your mileage may vary”. In the 1990s and 2000s it became an internet abbreviation, and from there it fanned out to reviews, advice, and eventually the kink corners. It has no single inventor or scene origin, and there’s no scientific literature under this name either.
Why people say ymmv, and when it turns lazy
Mostly it’s honest. YMMV takes the certainty out of a tip, so advice doesn’t sound like law. In kink that’s exactly right, because what sends one person soaring leaves another cold, and a trick that works for me can do nothing for you. Where it turns lazy: when you use it to dodge a real answer. “YMMV” is no substitute for figuring out what suits you, calmly and by talking it through.
Where this fits on this site
Because everyone responds differently, general advice only goes so far. With me it’s about what works for you, discovered at your own pace. If you’d like to explore that, take a look at the BDSM date or send me a message with no strings attached.
Sources
- your mileage may vary. Wiktionary. Gives the meaning that something may work differently or appeal differently in your situation, and the origin in American car advertising with the EPA fuel-economy tests and the standard disclaimer.
Related terms
- Kinklist. The list of preferences YMMV belongs to precisely, because no two lists are alike.
- Checklist. The same idea as a tool: what you tick is yours.
- Consent. Where YMMV is about taste, consent is about permission, and that’s not a matter of caveats.
- Kink-friendly. The attitude that leaves room for all those differences between people.
- Vanilla. What’s boring to one person and just right for another, the textbook case of YMMV.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about ymmv.
Where does ymmv come from?
From American car advertising in the 1970s and 1980s. Fuel-economy figures came from standard tests, so manufacturers added the disclaimer “your mileage may vary”. Online it later became an abbreviation that turned up in reviews, advice, and the kink corners.
Who can you turn to with questions about ymmv?
Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. General tips only go so far; he looks with you at what works for you. You can ask him a question with no obligation through the contact form, or first chat for free.
Learn more
Still have questions about ymmv?
I'm Victor. Do you find that general tips get you nowhere because you happen to be you? Send me a message. No obligation, and we'll look together at what works for you.