Glossary
Toyboy
A much younger man in a relationship with an older woman.
What is a toyboy?
A toyboy (also toy boy) is a much younger man who is the lover or partner of an older woman. Usually the age gap is at least ten years. The older woman in this context is sometimes called a cougar. The word carries a slight overtone, as if the relationship were mostly about youth and attraction, and sometimes a difference in money or gifts plays a part.
| Also written | toy boy, boytoy |
| Who | a much younger man |
| With | an older woman (sometimes a cougar) |
| Age gap | often at least ten years |
| Overtone | mildly dismissive, emphasis on youth |
Where the word comes from
It’s mainly British English. According to Dictionary.com, which gives the Collins definition, a toyboy is the much younger male lover of an older woman. The encyclopedia mentions toyboy in the same breath as boytoy, cub, and gigolo, and notes that relationships with a large age gap are often viewed with some suspicion in Western countries. That sideways look sits in the word itself.
Toyboy or gigolo?
These two are easily confused, but they aren’t the same. A toyboy is someone’s younger partner or lover: it’s a relationship, not a service. A gigolo is a man you book by appointment, with no relationship and no dependence. With a toyboy a difference in money can play a part, but that’s something other than an agreed rate for a date.
What a toyboy isn’t
“A toyboy is just a paid man.” Not necessarily. The word says something about the ages and the dynamic, not that money is always involved. There are toyboys with no money in the picture and older women who buy nothing; it’s about the age gap and the overtone, not a price tag.
What I make of it
I’m a gigolo, not a toyboy, and that difference matters. I’m nobody’s younger boyfriend and dependent on no one. You book me for a date, and afterward your life stands entirely on its own again. For a lot of women that’s exactly the appeal: no relationship to manage, no lopsided arrangement where one keeps the other, just time together that’s clearly agreed. If you’re after the feeling of a younger boyfriend without the dependence around it, that’s precisely what a boyfriend experience with me is. The word toyboy strikes me as a little belittling, as though someone were a plaything. Nobody is.
Sources
- Toy boy. Collins English Dictionary via Dictionary.com. Gives that a toyboy is the much younger male lover of an older woman, with a British English label.
- Age disparity in sexual relationships. Wikipedia. Gives that a man in a relationship with an older woman is often called boytoy, toyboy, cub, or gigolo, that the woman is called a cougar, and that large age gaps are often viewed with suspicion in Western countries.
Related terms
- Gigolo. A man you book by the date, unlike a toyboy in a relationship.
- Sugar mommy. The older woman who supports a younger partner financially.
What is a toyboy?
A toyboy is a much younger man who is the lover or partner of an older woman, usually with an age gap of at least ten years. The older woman is sometimes called a cougar. The word carries a slight, somewhat belittling overtone.
What is the difference between a toyboy and a gigolo?
A toyboy is someone’s younger partner or lover: a relationship, not a service. A gigolo is a man you book by appointment, with no relationship and no dependence. With a toyboy money can play a part, but that’s something other than an agreed rate for a date.
Want to know more
Rather a date than a younger boyfriend?
I'm Victor, a gigolo for women. No relationship to manage, no lopsided arrangement, just time together that's clearly agreed. Curious how that works? Message me whenever; I reply at my own pace.