Glossary
No-show
Not showing up, without a word. Almost never out of unwillingness, and that is exactly why it can be prevented.
What is a no-show?
No-show is an appointment where someone does not show up without any message. In sex work, but just as much at the hairdresser or the dentist, a no-show means reserved time that goes to waste. The word literally means “to not appear”.
| In Dutch | niet komen opdagen |
| Means | not showing up without canceling |
| Category | a risk in appointment-based work, including sex work |
| Why it matters | reserved time that can no longer be filled |
| Common solution | a deposit or a clear cancellation agreement |
| Core thing to know | a no-show is rarely unwillingness; often the doubt or the shame wins |
How often it happens and what it costs
Not showing up is a wide and well-studied phenomenon. Research by Kheirkhah and colleagues into missed appointments in healthcare shows that no-shows are common and have real economic consequences, because the reserved time is lost. In appointment-based work where one person holds one time slot for you, that weighs even heavier: a missed hour cannot be made up. A review of ways to cut no-shows names reminders and prepayment as effective measures. That is exactly why a deposit is so common.
Why people do not show up
To the other person a no-show often feels like rejection, while it rarely is. Usually something else wins: nerves, last-minute doubt, shame about calling to cancel, or the feeling that sending a message is even more awkward than simply not appearing. With something as intimate as a date with a gigolo, that threshold weighs heavily. What a no-show does not solve is that doubt; it only postpones it. A short message to cancel is almost always easier than it seems afterward, and it keeps the door open.
What I notice about it
Someone who does not show up almost never has anything against me personally. I’m Victor, a gigolo, and usually the nerves have won. That is why I sometimes ask new clients for a small deposit: not as a punishment, but because it lowers the threshold to stick to a choice, and because my time cannot be turned back. What I see most is that people are afraid canceling will come across as rude. It does not. An honest “I don’t dare after all” I always respect more than silence.
Where this fits on my site
If you are unsure whether you dare to keep an appointment, sending a message is always better than staying away. I would rather think along with you than have you drop out on your own. How an appointment works and what I ask is on the page what I do. You can also just share your doubt first.
Sources
- Prevalence, Predictors and Economic Consequences of No-Shows. Kheirkhah, Feng, Travis, Tavakoli-Tabasi & Sharafkhaneh, BMC Health Services Research 16, 2016. Provides that no-shows are common and have real economic consequences because reserved time is lost.
- Methods to Reduce Outpatient Non-Attendance. Stubbs et al., The American Journal of the Medical Sciences 344, 2012. Provides the review of measures against non-attendance, including reminders and prepayment.
Related terms
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about a no-show.
How do you prevent a no-show?
With a reminder and with a deposit. Research into cutting missed appointments names both as effective measures. A deposit is not a punishment, but lowers the threshold to stick to a choice and covers the time that would otherwise stay empty.
Who can you turn to with questions about a no-show or canceling?
Victor, a gigolo with a background as a psychotherapist. If you are unsure about an appointment, sending a message is always better than staying away; an honest “I don’t dare after all” he respects. Ask or cancel through the contact form or chat for free first.
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Unsure about an appointment?
I'm Victor, a gigolo. Sending a message is always better than staying away, and an honest 'I don't dare after all' I respect. Ask your question or share your doubt, no obligation, and I'll text you back whenever it suits you.