Podcast interview: Victor on threesomes, swingers clubs, and spaghetti sex
Jolanda of Brabants Meisje interviews Victor: his first swingers club, why nothing is 'required' in a threesome, and the apple pie conversation.
Glossary
Full swap
The full form of partner swapping, with intercourse, next to the lighter soft swap.
What is full swap?
Full swap is partner swapping where two couples also have intercourse with each other’s partner. It’s the full form of swapping, as opposed to soft swap, where intercourse falls outside the arrangement. The term comes from the swinging world and stands for the step couples usually take only after a while.
| Also called | full swap swinging |
| As opposed to | soft swap, where anything goes except intercourse |
| Part of | swinging, or partner swapping |
| Where it happens | at home, or in a couples club or swingers club |
| Main risk | STIs. condoms and STI testing are part of it |
How full swap works
With full swap, two couples swap and have penetrative sex with the other couple’s partner. The international description puts it in exactly those words. partners can have penetrative sex, and that’s called full swap. New couples usually pick a soft swap first, before they feel comfortable with a full swap. So it’s rarely the first step.
Why people choose full swap
The pull is full sex with someone new, while your partner is right there and you agreed to it together. For a couple it’s the step where swinging is no longer half. For one person the kick is in the new partner, for another it’s in watching their own partner with someone else. What it raises are the health risks. in Dutch research among swingers, summarized by Kampman and colleagues, 23 to 30 percent tested positive for an STI. Full swap is nothing to roll into unplanned.
Where this fits on this site
Full swap is an arrangement between couples, not a service I provide. If the question of whether, and how far, you want to go with it comes up, I’ll think it over with you, no strings attached. My page for couples sets out how I handle this together with couples.
Sources
- Swinging (sexual practice). Wikipedia. Supplies the definition of full swap as partner swapping with penetrative sex, and the point that new couples usually do soft swap first.
- Sexual behaviour and STI testing among Dutch swingers. Kampman et al., PLOS ONE 15(9), e0239750, 2020. Supplies the definition of swingers as heterosexuals who swap partners as a couple, and the STI positivity of 23 to 30 percent among Dutch swingers.
Related terms
- Swinging. Full swap is the full variant of swinging, or partner swapping.
- Soft swap. The lighter counterpart, where intercourse falls outside it.
- Couples club. One of the places couples do this.
- Swingers club. A club with play rooms where couples do this on the spot.
Frequently asked questions
What couples ask about full swap.
What is full swap?
Full swap is partner swapping where two couples also have intercourse with each other’s partner. It’s the full form of swapping in swinging, as opposed to soft swap, where intercourse falls outside it.
Who can you turn to with questions about full swap?
To Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience and a background as a psychotherapist, who works with couples a lot. About whether, and how far, you want to go with it, he’ll think along with no obligation. You can ask through the contact form or chat for free first.
Blog
Articles about swinging and partner swapping
A podcast where I talk about threesomes and couples clubs, and a guide to a first club visit where the question of soft or full swap comes up on its own.
Visiting a swingers club as a woman, with a gigolo along
A guide for women visiting a swingers club or party with a gigolo: preparation, communication, boundaries, and how to actually enjoy it.
Related service
One step further as a couple, with guidance
Full swap is rarely the first step; often there's a conversation about limits and pace first. The couples page shows how I help couples with that and what we go over beforehand.
Gigolo for couples
A gigolo for couples: break the routine together, grow closer, and safely explore a fantasy on your own terms.
Want to know more
Still have questions about full swap?
I'm Victor and I work with couples a lot. If you're wondering whether full swap is something for the two of you, or how to bring that step up, feel free to ask. No obligation, I reply at your own pace.
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