Glossary
Fucking
The same thing as making love, only the word picks a far blunter tone. Where that comes from.
What does fucking mean?
Fucking is a crude, direct, and very common word for sexual intercourse. It puts the weight on the act itself, without the softer charge of making love or the clinical ring of sexual intercourse. The Dutch word for it, neuken, first meant “to thrust” or “to jerk”; the sexual meaning came along only later.
| Register | crude and direct; blunter than making love, less clinical than sexual intercourse |
| Dutch word | neuken, with the same blunt charge |
| Category | one of the sexual acts |
| Origin | first “to thrust, to jerk”; the sexual meaning came later |
| First sexual attestation | 1653, in a court record |
| Core to know | it points at the same thing as making love, the word just picks a different tone |
Where the word comes from
The origin says something about how hard the word lands. According to the Etymologisch Woordenboek van het Nederlands, the Dutch neuken first meant “to thrust, to jerk”, related to Low German nöken, nucken and Old Norse hnykkja, “to pull, to jerk”. The earliest attestation in its current sexual sense is in a court record from 1653; the meaning entered Van Dale’s dictionary in 1898. In West Flanders neuken is still used for “to thrust”, while in the Netherlands it carries almost only the sexual meaning.
When people choose this word
The word you choose colors the act. Fucking is blunt and unpolished, and that same directness makes it exciting for some and too crude for others. People reach for it to point at something rougher or less restrained than making love, which sounds softer and more about connection. What the word does not change is the act itself. Fucking, making love, and sexual intercourse can all point at exactly the same thing. The tone is in the word, not in what happens.
What I notice
The word itself unsettles a lot of women more than the act does. I’m Victor, a gigolo, and I see how loaded a blunt word like this can be. One woman would rather not whisper it, another is stirred by it. That is exactly the point. Which word feels right differs from one person to the next and from one moment to the next, and I would rather talk that over first than fill it in for you.
Where this fits on my site
What you enjoy, and which words fit it, is yours to decide. I match myself to that, blunt or gentle, and I always keep it open to talk about. How I work is on the page about intimate togetherness, and you can always ask something first.
Sources
- Neuken. Etymologisch Woordenboek van het Nederlands (M. Philippa et al., 2003-2009), via the Etymologiebank. Gives the original meaning “to thrust, to jerk”, the kinship with Low German nöken, nucken and Old Norse hnykkja, the first sexual attestation from 1653, and the entry into Van Dale in 1898.
- Geslachtsgemeenschap. Dutch-language encyclopedia. Gives the neutral description of the act that neuken is a crude register word for.
Related terms
- Sexual acts. The overarching category that fucking is one of.
- Oral sex. Another act with its own blunt and polite words.
- Vuistneuken. The Dutch word shares the part neuken, which there too goes back to “to thrust”.
- Sexual response cycle. The bodily arc that stays the same under every one of these words.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about the word fucking.
What does fucking mean?
Fucking is a crude, direct word for sexual intercourse. It puts the weight on the act itself, without the softer charge of making love. The Dutch word for it, neuken, first meant “to thrust” or “to jerk”; the sexual meaning came along later.
Where does the word fucking come from?
The Dutch word neuken first meant “to thrust, to jerk”, related to Low German nöken and Old Norse hnykkja. The earliest attestation in its sexual sense is in a court record from 1653; the meaning entered Van Dale in 1898. In West Flanders it still means “to thrust”.
Who can you turn to with questions about the word fucking?
Victor, a gigolo with a background as a psychotherapist. Which word feels right, blunt or gentle, differs from one person to the next, and he is glad to match himself to that. Ask with no obligation through the contact form or first chat for free.
Want to know more
Still have questions about this word?
I'm Victor, a gigolo. Which words for sex feel right, blunt or gentle, is yours to decide, and I match myself to that. Feel free to ask your question, no obligation, and I'll message you back whenever suits you.