Fingering

What is fingering?

Fingering (Dutch: vingeren) is stroking or entering a vagina or anus with one or more fingers. It is one of the safer sexual acts, though it is not entirely without risk. What makes it good and safe is the same every time: short, smooth nails, clean hands, enough lubricant, and above all going slow, with attention for what the other person enjoys.

How to do it well and safely

Start gently and move along with it. The medically reviewed explainer at WebMD advises starting slowly, using lubricant, keeping the talk going about what feels good, and warming up with kissing or a massage before you go inside. Always wash your hands and keep your nails short and smooth, so you do not upset the bacterial balance. Anal calls for extra care: the Healthline explainer stresses that the anus does not lubricate itself, so use plenty of lubricant there, go slowly, and never force anything.

What fingering is not

“Deeper and faster is better.” Rarely. Most nerve endings sit at the front and in the first few centimeters, and a lot of the feeling is around the G-spot and the clitoris. Rhythm, pressure and attention do more than depth or speed. The problems that do come up usually come from too much force, poor hygiene or going on too long.

What I see of it myself

For me, fingering is not a stepping stone to something else, but during an intimate togetherness something in its own right. As a gigolo I watch the small signals: your breath, your hips, the moment you come just a little closer to my hand. That tells me more than words. I start slowly, keep feeling what works, and I am in no hurry to get anywhere. The careful side, clean hands and short nails, I take care of on my own; you do not have to think about it. That leaves room for nothing but what feels good.

Sources

• What is fingering. Medically reviewed by Shruthi N, MD, WebMD. Backs up that fingering is stimulating the genitals with the fingers, that you start slowly, use lubricant and keep communicating, and that you wash your hands and keep your nails short and smooth to prevent infection.
• Anal fingering. Medically reviewed by Stacy Henigsman, DO, Healthline. Backs up that the anus does not lubricate itself and so needs plenty of lubricant, that your nails should be clean and smooth, and that you go slowly and force nothing.

Related terms

• Sexual acts. The broader category that fingering falls under.
• G-spot. A sensitive zone you can seek out while fingering.
• Lubricant. What makes fingering smoother and better.
• Finger cot. A hygienic barrier for when there is a reason for it.