Consensual pain play: being slapped in the face
What does it mean to be slapped in the face consensually in BDSM? Victor on pain play, trust, and safe surrender.
Glossary
Face slapping
A slap to the face, straight from the hand, and where you place it safely.
What is face slapping?
Face slapping (Dutch: een klap in het gezicht) is consensual striking of the cheek within impact play, often more for the directness and the humiliation than for the pain. The slap lands on the fleshy cheek below the cheekbone and stays away from the ear, eye and temple. Everything happens within what was agreed beforehand.
| Dutch term | een klap in het gezicht; face slapping is used as a loanword in Dutch too |
| Category | impact play: play where striking the body is the core |
| Where you land it | the fleshy cheek below the cheekbone, above the jawline |
| Where you stay away | ear, eye, nose and temple; an open slap on the ear can rupture the eardrum |
| Often more about | the humiliation and the directness than the pain itself |
| Most important condition | a safeword, and practicing with light taps before it is allowed to get harder |
How face slapping stays safe
With face slapping, safety comes down mostly to where the hand lands. The fleshy cheek below the cheekbone can take a slap; the ear, eye and temple cannot. An open slap on the ear builds up air pressure that can rupture the eardrum: the Merck Manual names an open slap in the same breath as an explosion and diving as a cause of a ruptured eardrum. Kink educator Mimsy Borogoves therefore recommends hitting the fleshy cheek below the cheekbone, staying away from the nose, eyes and ears, and practicing with light taps first.
Why people choose it
The appeal is in the directness. A slap to the face comes straight from the hand, with eye contact, and that makes it more personal than a smack on the backside. For those who love it, what counts most is the humiliation and the surrender in it, and for the giver the role of someone who is present and in charge without a tool. It is not a beginner’s form: the face is vulnerable, so this belongs with people who already know how to agree and how to stop. On a bdsm date I start light myself and only build up when you want that.
Sources
- Eardrum Perforation. Merck Manual, Consumer Version, 2026. Backs up that an open slap with the hand can rupture the eardrum, alongside an explosion and diving as causes of perforation.
Related terms
Face slapping is a form of impact play, play where striking the body is the core.
- Impact play. The pillar: all play with striking, of which face slapping is a direct, personal variant.
- Spanking. Striking the backside, the best-known and most accessible form of impact play.
- Safeword. The word that always stops the play, no luxury with a vulnerable target like the face.
- Aftercare. The care afterward, especially when humiliation was part of the play.
- Humiliation. The charge that a slap to the face carries for many people.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about face slapping.
What is face slapping?
Face slapping is consensual striking of the cheek within impact play, often more for the humiliation and the directness than for the pain. The slap lands on the fleshy cheek below the cheekbone and stays away from the ear, eye and temple. Everything happens within what was agreed beforehand, with a safeword that always stops it.
Where can you safely slap someone in the face?
With face slapping you land only on the fleshy cheek below the cheekbone and above the jawline. The ear, eye, nose and temple stay out of range, because an open slap on the ear can rupture the eardrum. Practice with light taps first and build the force up calmly, so your aim is right before it is allowed to get harder.
Who can you turn to with questions about face slapping?
For questions about face slapping you can turn to Victor, a gigolo with about twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. He explains how you land it safely, where you stay away and how you build it up calmly. There is no obligation attached. Ask your question through the contact form or chat for free first.
Blog
Articles about face slapping
The blog covers how a slap to the face feels and what consensual pleasure in pain does to you.
Related service
Face slapping during a BDSM date
What you do and do not want is on my yes list. The service page shows how a date is put together.
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I am Victor, a gigolo with more than twenty-five years of experience in BDSM. Want to try face slapping once without it getting scary or hard? Ask your question with no obligation, I will text you back at your own pace.