Gigolo in Düsseldorf

A city with a Dutch streak

Düsseldorf has an old bond with the Netherlands. Thousands of Dutch people live there, there is a Dutch school, and on the Kö on a Saturday you hear Dutch as often as German. For a date that mostly means convenience. You do not have to feel out of place anywhere and the language is never an obstacle.

From Amsterdam it is about three hours’ drive, a little more by train. Doable for a long evening, nicer as a night.

What we can do together

The Rheinuferpromenade, where the whole city sits along the water on a summer evening. The Altstadt with its famous density of pubs, though that is not for everyone. The Medienhafen with those wavy Gehry buildings. The Kö if you want to look at what you do not need. And the Japanese quarter around the Immermannstraße, where you eat better than in most starred restaurants.

Or we skip it and simply start somewhere quiet. That is just as good an evening.

Language

Dutch, German or English. Here Dutch really is nothing unusual, and for many women that lowers a threshold.

Who I come here for

For Dutch women who live here for work or a partner, and notice that their own circle has drifted out of reach. Also for women who are married and have long missed what they do not say out loud. For widows too. Just as much for women who start over after a divorce and would rather not try that out on a dating app.

For couples too. What is possible you can read under my services.

Discretion in a city where you run into Dutch people

That is the immediate downside of that Dutch community. The chance you know someone is bigger here than in, say, Chemnitz. I take that into account.

I greet no one first. If you speak to me, I am whoever you say I am, and we think that story up beforehand. In the lobby I do not walk arm in arm with you if you would rather not, the car I park where you want, and no flowers or loud greetings come into it.

Beyond that there is no one between us. No agency, no go-between, no colleague reading along, no file with your name in it. What we write each other I keep no longer than needed. And if you would rather meet entirely outside your own city, Krefeld and Cologne are half an hour’s drive. That is a sensible choice and it is made more often than you think.

Practical

The travel costs go with the distance and I name them before we fix anything. After that the amount does not change and nothing is put on top at the end. I know no evening or night rate, and no weekend or public-holiday rate either, and booking as a couple costs exactly the same as alone.

Planning a week or two ahead is wise. Düsseldorf lives off trade fairs, and in a fair week the city is fully booked and hotels ask amounts no one is happy about. Then we pick another date, or a hotel just outside the city.

How it goes

It starts with a message. Where you are, roughly what you are looking for, when you could. I usually answer within a day and then we write on. I ask something, you ask something, until you notice whether this fits. Calling is possible. A coffee once without anything having to come of it is possible too, and more women do that than you would guess.

The day itself starts calmly. First sitting, first talking, and only when you are ready does the rest come. For most women that first part lasts longer than they had thought beforehand. That is not lost time; it is exactly what makes everything afterwards easier.

Afterwards you hear nothing more from me unless you want to. No “how was it”, no message months later.

An evening or a night

Six hours of driving for three hours together is an odd ratio, for you as much as for me. If the date runs on into the morning, that travel time fades to nothing next to what we get out of it.

There is something else in it too. For almost everyone the first hours are an adjustment. To a stranger in the room, to the idea that this is really happening, to the fact that nothing has to. Someone who knows there is no last train waiting does not have to cut that adjustment short. If you are unsure about the length, take it generous. Stopping earlier is always possible; adding an hour the moment it feels just right rarely works.

Changing your mind is fine

Later in the evening too. Even when the room is already booked and you have cleared an evening for it. No failure, and for me no problem at all.

In practice dates regularly go differently than imagined. Sometimes it turns calmer, sometimes not, and I have no preference in that and no stake at all, except that you feel good and that a week later you still look back on it with pleasure instead of with that nagging feeling that you had to push something through.

This is how it starts

A short message with your town and a suitable day is enough. That is all I need for a first reply.