For you, if he wants this for you
Married, and seeing a gigolo with his knowledge
You love each other, and still your body misses something. Here that desire can exist, alongside your marriage and not against it.
Sound familiar?
You love each other, just not that one thing anymore
Hi, I’m Victor. Maybe you’ve opened this page a few times already, and closed it again.
The two of you have a good life together. You laugh and travel, and on the couch he still holds your hand. But there hasn’t been sex for years. For him it doesn’t work anymore, or he simply doesn’t need it. You do. There’s no fighting about it, just a silence.
One evening he said it himself: I want this for you. Or you asked, carefully, and he said yes. Since then that hall pass has been sitting in a drawer. You’ve never used it, because it felt like admitting that something was broken. Until a milestone birthday comes along, and suddenly the missing is too much.
Maybe this sounds familiar
"It's fine, really"
His sorry in the dark. Your answer, which you only half mean.
His hand on your knee
During the show. It stays there, and goes no further.
A hall pass in the drawer
For months now. You know exactly where it is.
Keeping him at ease
Even in bed, you’re still busy making it easy for him.
A friend with a new love
She talks about it, and your own body listens in.
A quiet house
The kids have moved out. It’s quieter, and the longing suddenly louder.
Loyalty and desire can exist side by side
Let me start with this: you’re not doing anything wrong. I never judge married women, and certainly not women who do this with his knowledge.
What you’re looking for isn’t an affair. An affair means lying, and you don’t want that. And a free lover from your own circle can get out of hand fast. That’s exactly why you choose someone for whom this is his profession. You want to keep your marriage, without letting your body wither. This has deliberate limits, and that’s exactly what keeps it clear.
My background is in psychotherapy. I understand how vulnerable this is, for you and for him too. This isn’t couples therapy, and I don’t give advice about your marriage.
If nothing changes, you’ll keep loving each other while you wither alongside it. Loyalty and desire don’t have to work against each other. You’re allowed to accept his blessing.
A few hours that are about you
Picture this: a hotel room, maybe for an erotic overnight stay, or your own home if that feels right. You don’t need an excuse, because he knows where you are.
After all those years of caring for others and taking them into account, for a few hours it’s only about you. I look at you and ask what you enjoy. After all these years, maybe what you want most is to be touched again. You don’t have to put anyone at ease. Afterward you simply go home, to the man you love.
Maybe he suggested it himself. Maybe you’ve had agreements for a while, and you book on your own, with his knowledge. And sometimes a woman only tells her husband afterward, and they end up talking for hours.
What you take home is being desired again, without a secret. Sometimes more appetite comes back too, for life and for him. You can read what an evening like that can look like under intimate togetherness.
Doesn’t he know, and would you rather keep it that way? Then read gigolo for married women. If he hasn’t said yes yet, he still hesitates is about exactly that.
Want to ask how I feel about this first?
Feel free to start with one careful question. You’ll get an honest answer, without judgment, and then you decide whether you want to go further.
Why me
I’m in my early fifties, and even-tempered. A grown man who brings no unrest into your marriage, and who has no wish to be a rival.
I work alone. You have one familiar face instead of a string of different men, and I choose who I meet.
You write me, never the other way around. So no message of mine will ever cause surprises at home, even though he knows.
How it works
How it works, with his knowledge
You book it yourself
A message with your first name is enough. It's your date, even though he knows about it.
Talking about wishes and limits
By message or a quick call. Then you fill in the consent form. Everything can be discussed, nothing is required!!
You choose what he knows
What you tell him and what you don't, the two of you agree on together. I follow that agreement. If you both want to talk with me first, that's possible.
A hotel, or your home
Wherever it feels right for you. Your own home works too, if that fits.
Once, or a regular rhythm
One time, or once a month, for example. You can decide as you go. With a regular rhythm, it sometimes grows into a boyfriend experience.
Aftercare
In the days after, you're welcome to let me know how you're doing.
Discreet toward the outside world
For the people around you
He knows. The rest of the world doesn’t need to. Nobody hears anything from me.
Your first name is enough
I don’t need a last name or an address.
Nothing saved
I keep no chat history, and there’s no client card.
No texts from me
You always go first. A message from me will never suddenly show up on your screen.
Outside our date, I don't know you
If you run into me at a party or in town, I walk on by.
Nothing that stands out on your statement
Cash is fine. Pay digitally and only coaching shows.
"Yes, but..."
- “Isn’t this cheating after all?” It happens with his knowledge, and it has clear limits: no second relationship, no falling in love that threatens the two of you. It exists alongside your marriage, not against it. Read more in is booking a gigolo cheating?
- “Will this make him feel like less?” What he wants to know and what he doesn’t, the two of you agree on together. I’m not a rival, and I have no place in your marriage.
- “Am I hurting him?” He wants this for you. You’re allowed to accept that, without having to earn it all over again every time.
- “Does he have to be there?” No. If he does want to be there, that’s a different kind of date, and we talk about it separately. In that case, have a look at adding a man as a couple, or at hotwife experience if it’s mainly his wish to watch you.
- “What if I get attached?” A flutter is allowed, and feel free to call it love for a little while. The terms stay clear, and I stick to them.
- “Can this be a regular thing?” Yes. Once a month, for example, or another rhythm that suits you both.
Women who gave themselves this
Victor let me discover so many things, took me along on his journey, things I've never experienced, that I never knew could exist, and that this feeling could exist too. With Victor you can just honestly express everything, and I can confirm it, he stays with your wishes.
Victor is the best gift you can give yourself. He sees you as a person. Together with him you head into a fun and wonderful adventure. Because of him I'm whole again. Victor gives you a good feeling, a safe feeling. And he does everything with you within your boundaries. Don't doubt it. Just do it, ladies!!!!!!!
After a while of online contact, we arranged to meet, and oh, how exciting I found it, out of my comfort zone. Even so, I felt at home with him right away. Victor gave me the trust to surrender myself to him completely and safely. I never thought I would ever experience this in such a safe, loving way.
You're allowed to accept his blessing
Send me a message when you’re ready. One sentence is enough, and you’ll get a calm reply. It goes straight to me, and to no one else.
Is there already a date? Name it right away.
Frequently asked questions
What women with their partner's blessing ask me
Does my husband have to be there, or know?
No, he doesn’t have to be there. What he knows is up to the two of you. Still unsure how much to tell him? You’re welcome to ask me a question anyway.
Will you talk to my husband first?
If you both want that, it’s possible. I never contact him behind your back.
Will you tell him anything about our date?
No. What he knows is yours to decide, together with him. I don’t talk to anyone about my dates, and that includes him.
Isn't this cheating after all?
It happens with his knowledge and within clear terms. It exists alongside your marriage, not against it. How you weigh that for yourself, I leave to you.
Can this become a regular date?
Yes. Once a month, for example, or another rhythm that suits you and your marriage. You can also meet once first and see from there.
What if it changes us?
It might. It doesn’t have to go the way you fear: sometimes a relationship actually gets lighter. What the two of you agree on comes first, and I stick to it.
What if I fall in love?
A flutter is allowed. I stay honest about what this is, so you never have to guess. That way your marriage stays yours.