Squirting

Let me start with what squirting actually is, because it is a subject often wrapped in mystery and confusion. Squirting is when a woman releases fluid from the urethra during arousal or orgasm. If you have never experienced or seen it, it can be hard to picture, and for some women it opens up a whole new dimension of pleasure.

It is not only a “wow moment.” For the women it works for, it is a full release, a letting go of the everyday. It is worth saying up front that every woman is different, and what works for one may not work for another. There is nothing wrong with you either way.

How to learn to squirt

It may feel like a mystery, but with a few steps and some patience you can find out whether it is for you. Here are the ways I would walk you through it.

Self-discovery

The best place to start is by getting to know yourself. Take the time to explore your own body and understand what turns you on.

• Create a relaxed setting. Make sure you feel completely at ease, without distractions. That might mean a warm bath, a calm playlist, or a few candles.
• Explore your body. Use your hands or a toy to stimulate your vagina and the G-spot. The G-spot sits a few centimeters inside the vagina, on the upper wall. Try different movements and pressure to find what feels good.
• Take your time. Squirting is often the result of building up. Give yourself enough time to get aroused.

Stimulation technique

The right technique can make a real difference.

• Pressure and movement. Experiment with both pressure and speed. Some women do better with steady pressure, others with a changing rhythm.
• Combine clitoral stimulation. Many women feel more pleasure when they stimulate the G-spot and the clitoris at the same time. Try rubbing the clitoris while you touch the G-spot.

Communicating with a partner

If you want to share this with a partner, communication is essential.

• Be open about what you want. Tell your partner what you feel and what you want to try. That creates a safe space where you can both experiment.
• Explore together. Let your partner guide you while you discover what works. Sometimes another person’s touch deepens the experience.

Using toys

There are toys that can help.

• G-spot vibrators. These are shaped to stimulate the G-spot specifically and can help you reach that intense climax.
• Dildos. With the right curve and shape, a dildo can be effective at reaching the G-spot too.

Practice and patience

Squirting is a skill that takes time to develop. You cannot force it, so be patient with yourself. It helps to take time for yourself now and then to practice without any pressure.

Working through what holds you back

As a relationship therapist, I can also help you look at the emotional barriers that get in the way. Sometimes fear or shame stands between you and full enjoyment of your sexuality. Talking those things through openly can free you from limiting thoughts and let you enjoy.

Can a gigolo help?

A gigolo can be a valuable part of your journey toward exploring new experiences. A few reasons why.

No judgment. A gigolo is there to attend to your wishes, without any judgment. That can help you feel free to experiment and explore your fantasies without worrying about what the other person thinks.

Experience. Many gigolos have experience with different preferences and techniques. If you are curious about squirting, an experienced gigolo can guide you through the process and help you explore your limits.

Communication and feedback. A gigolo is often good at creating a comfortable atmosphere where you can be open about what you want. Good communication is crucial for a session that works.

Variety and adventure. A gigolo can bring the variety and excitement into your sex life that you might be missing, and help you discover things you had not considered.

Relaxation. Away from your familiar setting, with someone whose focus is entirely on you, it can be easier to relax and make room for pleasure.

Learning from it. Working with a gigolo, you can learn about your own body and what arouses you, and take those skills into solo play later.

If the idea of working with a gigolo feels good to you, it can be a fine way to explore your sexuality. It is all about your comfort and your pleasure. Be open, take your time, and enjoy the journey.