Despite her marriage, Emma visits a gigolo every month: ‘I can recommend it to any woman’

This story first appeared in De Telegraaf.

Despite her marriage, Emma visits a gigolo every month: ‘I can recommend it to any woman’

In the column ‘Between the Sheets’, women talk about their sex lives. This story comes from Emma (51). She is happily married and a mother of two teenagers. With her husband Ben she barely has a sex life; Ben has a very low libido. They have found an unusual solution for it. Once a month, Emma visits a gigolo.

“Ben was never really a beast in bed. Straightforward, that was his style. And preferably only on Sunday morning. When I heard my girlfriends talk about their men who just couldn’t get enough, I sometimes wondered what was going on with Ben.

By now I know. Ben has a low libido. He is a wonderful guy, but in bed I really shouldn’t expect too much of him. He is far from horny.”

Crude

“We talked about an open relationship, but we both find that scary. What if we fall in love with the other person? And I’d probably be the only one out hunting; Ben doesn’t need it. We don’t want to put our lovely family at risk.

But a few years ago it did start to get to me that things were so tame in our bed. Ben came up with the idea of going to a gigolo once a month. I did have to think about that for a while. Paying for sex? How crude can you get?”

Nothing but yourself

“So I went and dove into it online, and I found out that gigolos have all kinds of different clients. From filthy-rich businesswomen to kindergarten teachers. And that during a date like that it really is all about you. Just thinking about nothing but yourself for a while. It wasn’t as vulgar as I’d thought. Why shouldn’t I do it? The idea started to appeal to me more and more.”

Lie back and enjoy

“For a good two years now I’ve gone to a hotel at least once a month, where I let a male prostitute take me completely apart. I can recommend it to any woman, unless you happen to have a man at home who knows what he’s doing.

I have three that I book regularly, and I’m very happy with them. Each has his own qualities. One is tender, the other quite animal. It costs something, but you get something for it too. Not for a second do I feel that I have to do anything in return; it really is just lying back and enjoying.”

Romping

“Ben is fine with it. He doesn’t want to know too much about it, but I don’t sense any jealousy in him. It’s made me a happier person, because I did want sex. Ideally I’d schedule a date every week, but that would really start to add up.

I tell the children I have a business appointment. They have no idea that their mother is romping around in a hotel with a man they’ve never met.”

Fizzled out

“Since I started doing it with gigolos, things between me and Ben in bed have completely fizzled out. We barely do it anymore, and I can live with that.

As it happened, we did it again last Sunday, and I found myself thinking: ‘This really is very plain sex compared to what my three favourite gigolos give me.’ I don’t say that to Ben. Because I know that deep down he would really prefer things to be different.”