Glossary
YKINMK
Four letters that catch the difference between not liking something and holding it against someone.
What is ykinmk?
YKINMK stands for your kink is not my kink. It’s a short way to say you respect someone’s preference without having to share it yourself. The full, spoken-out version is YKINMKBYKIOK, with “but your kink is ok” on the end.
| English term | your kink is not my kink, identical |
| Literally | “your kink is not my kink” |
| Full form | YKINMKBYKIOK, spelled out as “your kink is not my kink but your kink is ok” |
| Category | a rule of conduct and an attitude, not an act |
| Origin | English-language kink and fandom corners, the 1990s |
| Core | difference in taste without judgment, the antidote to kinkshaming |
Where ykinmk comes from
There’s no scientific literature under this name, and that fits: it’s a phrase from the community, not a technical term. The dictionary Wiktionary describes YKINMK as “an acknowledgement that people have different sexual preferences”. The phrase comes from the English-speaking kink and fandom world and has circulated there since the 1990s, with early sightings on Usenet. No single coiner can be named. It grew as a rule of conduct, not as an invented term.
Why people say ykinmk, and where it stops
You can disagree about taste without tearing someone down. YKINMK makes room: this isn’t for me, and it doesn’t have to be, you’re welcome to keep it. That keeps a conversation civil where it would otherwise slide into judgment. Where it stops: it isn’t a free pass. Consent and safety still apply, and “not my kink” is a different thing from “not okay”. That last distinction is exactly what the full form YKINMKBYKIOK spells out.
Where this fits on this site
With me you never have to brace for a raised eyebrow. I work without judgment, and what you’re looking for is exactly the subject. If you’d like to talk quietly about what turns you on, take a look at my services or send me a message with no strings attached.
Sources
- YKINMK. Wiktionary. Gives the meaning “initialism of your kink is not my kink: an acknowledgement that people have different sexual preferences” and the reference to the full form YKINMKBYKIOK.
Related terms
- Kinkshaming. Exactly the behavior YKINMK pushes back against: belittling someone for a consensual preference.
- YKINMKBYKIOK. The full, spoken-out version, with “but your kink is ok” literally on the end.
- Consent. The line YKINMK doesn’t replace, because respecting taste settles no permission.
- Kink-friendly. The attitude YKINMK is a short summary of.
- Vanilla. Often precisely someone else’s kink that isn’t yours, and the other way around.
- Kink. The preference itself, which differs from person to person.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about ykinmk.
Who can you turn to with questions about ykinmk?
Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. He works without judgment, so your preference is exactly the subject. You can ask him a question with no obligation through the contact form, or first chat for free.
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Still have questions about ykinmk?
I'm Victor. Is there something on your mind that you're afraid sounds too strange to say out loud? Send me a message. No judgment, no obligation, and your preference is exactly the conversation.