Glossary
Sexual services
Offering intimacy and sex as a paid service, often in a care context.
What are sexual services?
Sexual services is the offering of intimacy and sex as a paid service. The term is used mainly in care, for supporting people with a disability or illness with their sexuality. In the Netherlands it’s allowed, provided it’s done professionally, voluntarily, and within regulation.
| In Dutch | seksuele dienstverlening |
| Also known as | sexual assistance, sex care |
| What it is | paid support with intimacy and sex |
| Most recognizable in | care for people with a disability or illness |
| Related to | sex work, of which this is the formal, broader term |
| Legally | legal outside the care sector; can’t be paid from a personal care budget |
What sexual services looks like in practice
The best-known form is the one in care. Take someone with a physical disability who has trouble finding a partner and yet has a need for touch and sex. An organization like Stichting SAR, a Dutch foundation, then mediates between people with a physical or intellectual disability and professionals who provide intimacy and sex for a fee. SAR describes those providers as caring and respectful men and women, often with care experience. The support runs broad: from teaching skills to sharing intimacy together.
What’s allowed and what isn’t
Sexual services sits outside classic prostitution because the emphasis is on care and wellbeing, but legally there are limits. According to the Amsterdam Sexology Centre, care workers may not perform sexual acts with a client themselves, which Article 249 of the Dutch Criminal Code forbids, but a separate, external provider may. That same source points out that this service can’t be paid from a personal care budget (pgb). The support is coordinated within the sector through the Kennisplein Gehandicaptensector.
Why sexual services exists
The reason is simple: everyone has a right to intimacy, including people who have trouble finding a partner. For the client it can break through sexual frustration and raise quality of life. For loved ones and for care providers it removes a taboo that stayed unspoken for a long time. What it isn’t: it’s not a free pass and not an ordinary care task. It’s done by separate professionals, with consent and within rules, and never by the client’s own support worker.
What sexual services is not
“It’s just prostitution with a different word.” Partly overlapping, but the emphasis is on care, wellbeing, and breaking through isolation, and it’s done within agreements and rules.
“The care institution arranges and pays for it.” No. A care worker may not do it themselves, and it can’t be paid from a pgb. Mediation runs through separate organizations.
What I see myself
I work as a gigolo, for women and couples, and that’s a different profession from sexual services in disability care. Still, they touch on the same thing: attention and intimacy for a fee, with respect and consent as the base. What I recognize is how big the hurdle often is to admit you have that need. Admitting it is usually harder than the step itself. If your question lies in the care sphere, I’d rather point you to a specialized organization than pretend it’s my field.
Further reading
- Sex work is the broader concept that sexual services is a formal, care-focused branch of.
- Consent shows why voluntariness and consent are the hard floor here.
- Stichting SAR mediates in sexual services for people with a disability.
Where this fits on this site
My work as a gigolo is its own form of paid intimacy, aimed at women and couples, not at care. If your question really lies in the care sphere, an organization like SAR is the right place. Curious what I do offer and how a meeting goes? Have a look at my services. You can always call or message me first, without promising anything.
Sources
- Stichting SAR. Gives that SAR mediates between people with a physical or intellectual disability and professionals who provide intimacy and sex for a fee, caring and respectful and often with care experience.
- Sexual services for people with a disability. Amsterdam Sexology Centre. Gives that a care worker may not perform sexual acts themselves (Article 249 of the Dutch Criminal Code), that an external provider may, and that it can’t be paid from a pgb.
- Sexual services in disability care. Kennisplein Gehandicaptensector (Vilans, VGN, ZonMw). Gives that sexuality support within the sector is coordinated and which tools exist.
Related terms
- Sex work. The broader concept; sexual services is the formal, care-focused branch of it.
- Sex care. The care variant of paid intimacy, right up against this term.
- Consent. Voluntariness and consent are the legal and moral floor here.
- Discretion. With a subject this sensitive, privacy weighs extra.
Frequently asked questions
Questions about this term
What are sexual services?
Sexual services is the offering of intimacy and sex as a paid service. The term is used mainly in care, for supporting people with a disability or illness with their sexuality. Organizations like Stichting SAR mediate between clients and professional providers.
Are sexual services legal in the Netherlands?
Yes, provided it’s done professionally, voluntarily, and within regulation. A care worker may not perform sexual acts with a client themselves (Article 249 of the Dutch Criminal Code), but a separate, external provider may. The service can’t be paid from a personal care budget.
What is the difference from sex work?
Sexual services is the formal, broader term, and it overlaps with sex work. The difference lies mostly in the emphasis: with sexual services it’s on care, wellbeing, and breaking through isolation, usually in the context of people with a disability or illness. Sex work is the broader, more everyday concept.
Where can you go for sexual services?
If your question lies in the care sphere, say with a disability or illness, a specialized organization like Stichting SAR is the right place. Myself, I’m Victor, a gigolo for women and couples, my own form of paid intimacy, not care. Curious what I do offer? That can be done with no obligation or through chatting for free.
Learn more
Still have questions about sexual services?
I'm Victor, a gigolo for women and couples, my own form of paid intimacy, not care. If your question lies in the care sphere, I'll point you to an organization like SAR. Curious what I do offer? Send me a message. I'll reply in your own time.