Glossary
Sacred kink
Kink not for the kick, but for the meaning and the change that can sit underneath it.
What is sacred kink?
Sacred kink is kink you use deliberately as a spiritual practice: the tools of BDSM, fetish, and power exchange are used to bring on an altered state of consciousness, a spiritual insight, or an inner shift. Where ordinary kink turns on lust and tension, sacred kink aims at meaning and transformation.
| In Dutch | used untranslated, as a loanword |
| Also known as | spiritual kink, sacred sexuality (the wider movement around it) |
| Category | an approach within BDSM, related to tantra |
| Goal | an altered state of consciousness, spiritual insight, or inner change |
| Best-known source | the book Sacred Kink by Lee Harrington, 2016 |
| Same condition as kink | discussion, consent, and aftercare |
Where sacred kink comes from
The idea is not new. Lee Harrington, whose book Sacred Kink made the term widely known, argues that the modern tools of kink have roots that reach far back in history and have long been used to bring on altered states of consciousness, spiritual revelations, and lasting change. The pain, the surrender, and the intensity of a scene then serve not as an end in themselves, but as a route to such a state. Think of a subspace that is not experienced as a side effect, but as the core of the ritual.
Why people choose it
The pull sits in depth. For anyone who already experiences kink intensely, sacred kink gives it a frame in which that intensity is about something. A five-year study of 29 BDSM practitioners by Charlotta Carlström describes how participants report altered states of consciousness and spiritual experiences during pain rituals and power exchange, with striking parallels to religious experience. What it is not: a replacement for therapy, or a guarantee of a revelation. For one person it deepens the bond and self-insight, for another kink stays just kink. Both are fine.
Where this fits on this site
If you are looking for the deeper, almost meditative layer underneath a scene rather than only the kick, that lines up with how I work. I am Victor, a gigolo with more than 25 years of experience in BDSM, and I also work with tantra. We take our time, and where it goes is for you to decide.
Sources
- Spiritual experiences and altered states of consciousness. Parallels between BDSM and Christianity. Charlotta Carlström, Sexualities (SAGE), 2021. Provides the five-year study of 29 BDSM practitioners on power dynamics, pain rituals, and altered states of consciousness, and the parallels with religious spirituality.
- Sacred Kink. The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond. Lee Harrington, 2016. Provides the argument that the tools of kink have long been used to bring on altered states of consciousness, spiritual revelations, and lasting change.
Related terms
- BDSM. The wider practice sacred kink is a spiritual reading of.
- Tantra. The other route by which this site connects sexuality and consciousness.
- Subspace. The altered state of consciousness that sacred kink deliberately seeks out.
- Aftercare. The aftercare that counts extra after an intense, charged scene.
- Consent. Sacred or not, the scene begins with agreeing on what is and is not allowed.
Frequently asked questions
Questions about this term
What is sacred kink?
Sacred kink is kink you use deliberately as a spiritual practice, where BDSM and power exchange serve to bring on an altered state of consciousness or a spiritual insight. The pain and the surrender are then not an end in themselves, but a route to meaning and change.
What is the difference between sacred kink and tantra?
Both connect sexuality with consciousness, but sacred kink works with the tools of BDSM, such as pain, surrender, and power exchange, while tantra works mostly with breath, attention, and slow touch. Sacred kink seeks the altered state through intensity, tantra through slowing down.
Who can you ask about sacred kink?
I’m glad to talk through the spiritual layer underneath a scene. I am Victor, a gigolo with more than 25 years of experience in BDSM, and I also work with tantra, so this is familiar ground for me. Ask your question with no obligation or through free chat.
Learn more
Still have questions about sacred kink?
I'm Victor, a gigolo, more than 25 years at home in BDSM and familiar with tantra. Want to explore the deeper, almost ritual layer underneath a scene without having to arrange it all yourself? Send me a message, and I'll text you back at your own pace.