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Glossary
Primal prey
The half that takes it and works hardest at the same time, because here the struggling is the assignment.
What is a primal prey?
Primal prey is the fleeing role in primal play: the one who gets away, resists, struggles, and is caught in the end. Dutch has no established word for it; prooi is used at most as a translation. The role appears as Primal (Prey) in the archetype list of the BDSM test.
| Dutch term | none; prooi covers it but is rarely used that way in the scene |
| Opposite | primal hunter; read the two as the same and you miss exactly the distinction |
| Category | the receiving half of primal play, and nothing to do with petplay or animal play |
| Active or passive | active; resistance is the content of the role and not a side effect |
| Where it goes wrong | a stop signal made of words, while you are screaming; pick a stop gesture |
What the role involves
Putting up resistance is the work here. A prey lying still makes no scene, so what is expected of you is exactly what you normally suppress: pushing away, kicking, scratching, cursing, and trying to get free.
That is also the difference from being submissive. A submissive follows, a primal prey works against, and both can be the least steering of the two that same evening. Surrender runs here through exhaustion instead of through obedience.
So struggling is not rare among women who practice kink. Jennifer Eve Rehor put 126 acts to 1,580 women from the kink community in Archives of Sexual Behavior: 44.62 percent had taken struggling, 47.03 percent did it in one of the two roles, and 63.23 percent had taken part in some form. Scratching and leaving marks came up for 74.56 percent on the receiving side.
Why people choose this role
Because you no longer have to be pretty anywhere. With most receiving play there is still something to do well, staying still or holding a position; in this role, being ugly is literally the assignment.
And it is the shortest route to the point where your head goes quiet. Not because something floaty happens, but because fighting uses up your breath and after that there is little room left to think about how you come across.
This role in particular makes a spoken safeword useless: you are screaming, so a scream means nothing anymore. Agree on a signal you give with your hand, and practice it once before anything starts.
What a test result does and doesn’t say here
A high score on prey means the idea appealed to you the moment you read the question. It says no more than that. Which side you are in practice, you only notice during a first struggle, and for some people that switches per evening or even within one scene. So read a result like that as a word to start with and not as an outcome; the page on the BDSM test works out why those percentages mean less than they seem to.
What you can point to concretely is on the inspiration list: per line, whether something draws you or puts you off, and room for what is not on it.
Where this fits on this site
Curious how far you dare to work against someone who is set up for it? The page on the BDSM date describes how I mark that out with you beforehand, and you can also ask just those questions.
Sources
- Sensual, Erotic, and Sexual Behaviors of Women from the “Kink” Community. Jennifer Eve Rehor, Archives of Sexual Behavior 44(4), 825–836, 2015 (DOI 10.1007/s10508-015-0524-2). Questionnaire with 126 acts among 1,580 women from the kink community; the broadest overview there is of what women in this community actually do. Gives that 44.62 percent had taken struggling, 42.28 percent did it to someone else, 47.03 percent in one of the two roles and 63.23 percent in some form, and that scratching and leaving marks came up for 74.56 percent on the receiving side.
Related terms
- Primal play. Primal prey is a role within primal play; that is where the game itself is explained, with the risks.
- Primal hunter. The hunting half, and the opposite of this role.
- Submissive. The role primal prey gets confused with most, while that one follows instead of working against.
- CNC. The agreement that makes saying no part of the game and does not stop it.
- Bruising. The marks that show up after a struggle scene, which during the scene you usually do not feel forming.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about the primal prey.
What is a primal prey?
A primal prey is the fleeing role in primal play: getting away, resisting, struggling, and being caught in the end. The resistance is the content of the role and not a side effect, because a prey lying still makes no scene. The role appears as Primal (Prey) in the BDSM test.
Is a primal prey submissive?
Not in the usual sense. A submissive follows; a primal prey works against, and that is exactly what the role expects. Surrender runs here through exhaustion instead of through obedience, though the prey is the least steering of the two.
Who can you turn to with questions about the primal prey?
Victor, a gigolo and trained psychotherapist, active in BDSM for twenty-five years. He agrees with you beforehand how far you may work against him and which hand signal stops everything, so you don’t have to think that up in the moment. You can ask him a question with no obligation through the contact form, or chat for free first.
Related service
Working against someone who is set up for it
How far you may resist, which signal stops everything, and what happens afterward: the service page shows how we fix that beforehand.
Learn more
Still have questions about the primal prey?
I'm Victor. Almost everyone who takes this role for the first time apologizes afterward for a kick or a swear word. You don't have to, and you can hear that beforehand. Feel free to send me a message. No obligation, and I'll text you back when it suits you.