Medical play without the white coat: the exam is the scene
The most-played form of medical play uses no instrument at all. What happens instead, why lying still works, and where the law begins.
Glossary
Nursing
The same word for the nurse at the bedside and for the adult at the breast.
What is nursing?
Nursing is a form of medical play in which one adult plays the caring role and the other the patient. In the scene the word also covers something else: adult nursing, where one adult drinks at the breast. Which of the two is meant comes out of the context.
| In Dutch | verpleegkundig rollenspel for the first meaning; the second has no established Dutch word |
| Meaning 1 | the nurse and the patient: washing, changing, feeding, taking temperatures, being confined to bed |
| Meaning 2 | adult nursing, also called an adult nursing relationship: drinking at the breast, with or without milk |
| Category | a subform of medical play; the first meaning borders on caregiver and ABDL |
| Difference from medical play | the doctor examines and the nurse cares; nursing is the care side, not the exam side |
| How common | 47.22 percent of 1,580 women from the kink community once took part in medical play with a doctor or nurse role |
The difference between the two meanings
One is about being cared for, the other about being fed.
In the first meaning, nursing is the quiet part of medical play. Nothing is examined but cared for: washed, changed, fed, tucked in, and checked at set times. That puts nursing closer to caregiver and ABDL than to the speculum and the catheter. Anyone who wants hospital associations without instruments ends up here.
In the second meaning it is about the breast. Milk is not a requirement there and usually is not present. Whether the body starts making milk depends on repeated stimulation: the StatPearls entry Physiology, Lactation describes that milk production is kept going by regular emptying of the breast and by stimulation of the nipple, which releases prolactin from the anterior pituitary and oxytocin from the posterior pituitary. Prolactin rises quickly with suckling at the nipple; oxytocin drives the let-down reflex. So one evening does nothing, and that is exactly what most people who look for this are not asking for either.
How common nursing is
More common than you would think in the first meaning, and all but invisible in the second.
Jennifer Rehor put a list of activities to 1,580 women from the kink community, published in Archives of Sexual Behavior. “Medical play (doctor or nurse/patient)” comes in there at 47.22 percent participation in some form: almost half. So the nurse role is not an exotic corner but simply one of the best-known kinds of roleplay.
For the second meaning the story is different. Adult nursing was not on Rehor’s list at all. It surfaced among the self-reported answers, where participants named lactation play and described it themselves as adult breastfeeding, adult erotic nursing, and the drinking or spraying of breast milk. Rehor counts it among the categories that may be particular to women. A practice you have to write in because the questionnaire does not know it is by definition underrepresented in the numbers.
Where this fits on this site
Roleplay is a yes on my profile; the instrument side of medical play is not. The caring meaning of nursing does therefore fall within what I do, and it mostly asks for patience and a good conversation beforehand. The page about the BDSM date sets out how that conversation goes.
Sources
- Sensual, Erotic, and Sexual Behaviors of Women from the “Kink” Community. Jennifer Eve Rehor, Archives of Sexual Behavior 44(4), 825–836, 2015 (open access). Questionnaire study among 1,580 women from the kink community. Gives that “Medical play (doctor or nurse/patient)” comes to 47.22 percent participation in some form in table 10, and that lactation play, described by participants themselves as adult breastfeeding, adult erotic nursing, and the drinking or spraying of breast milk, was not in the questionnaire but came out of the self-reported answers, as one of the categories the author suggests may be particular to women.
- Physiology, Lactation. Jaclyn Pillay & Tammy J. Davis, StatPearls, NCBI Bookshelf, last updated 17 July 2023. Gives that lactation is kept going by regular emptying of the breast and stimulation of the nipple, which releases prolactin from the anterior pituitary and oxytocin from the posterior pituitary, that prolactin concentration rises quickly with suckling at the nipple as the nerve endings there are stimulated, and that oxytocin drives the let-down or milk-ejection reflex. NCBI has archived this entry; it is used here only for the basic physiology, which has not changed since.
Related terms
- Medical play. The overarching roleplay that nursing is the care side of, with the Dutch BIG Act.
- Enema. The same under its own name, with the limits on volume and temperature.
- Duckbill speculum. The spreading instrument that pulls nursing toward medical play instead.
- Caregiver. The caring role outside the hospital context, which nursing sits close to.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about nursing.
What is nursing?
Nursing is nurse roleplay: one adult cares, the other is the patient. It is the care side of medical play, where examining is the other side. In the scene, nursing also means adult nursing, an adult drinking at the breast.
Is milk involved in adult nursing?
Usually not, and it does not have to be. Milk production starts and keeps going through repeated emptying of the breast and stimulation of the nipple, which release prolactin and oxytocin; that is a matter of weeks, not of one evening. For most people, adult nursing is about the act and the closeness, not about the milk.
Who can you turn to with questions about nursing?
Victor, gigolo in the Netherlands, Belgium and Germany, active in BDSM for more than twenty-five years and trained as a psychotherapist. Roleplay is a yes on his profile and the instrument side of medical play is not, so he says beforehand which of the two meanings suits him. You can ask without obligation through the contact form or first chat for free.
Blog
Articles on the caring role
Nursing is the care side of the exam-room game. This article describes the scene that role fits into, and why it is most often played without any equipment.
Related service
The caring side yes, the instruments no
Being cared for, being changed, being checked at set times: that is roleplay and with me it is a yes. Catheters and speculums are not. The service page sets out how we draw that line beforehand.
BDSM date
Book a BDSM date with a gigolo who has 25 years of experience. Safe, intense, always within your limits, from soft bondage to dominance.
Learn more
Still have questions about nursing?
I'm Victor. The word covers two very different things, and which of the two you mean makes all the difference to the evening. Feel free to write it in your own words; I'll tell you honestly what does and does not suit me.
Closing CTA on /term/nursing, rendered by GlossaryTerm.astro as the last block on the
page. Pairs with the final FAQ item 03-learn-more-about-nursing.md. Leads on the
two-meanings angle that is this page’s own, so it does not repeat the “not in my offering”
line of /en/term/duckbill-speculum/cta.md and /en/term/enema/cta.md, or the “exam or
tools” line of /en/term/medical-play/cta.md. No posts.md blog line: the site has no
article about adult nursing. This body text is never rendered.