Glossary
Missionary position
The best-known sex position, with a name that turns out to rest on a misreading from the last century.
What is the missionary position?
The missionary position is the sex position where the woman lies on her back and the man on top of her, face to face, during penetration. It is the most common position for intercourse. The name suggests a religious origin, but that is wrong: it only appeared in the twentieth century.
| In Dutch | missionarishouding |
| Also known as | the man-on-top position; one of the sexual acts |
| Category | a position for intercourse, face to face |
| Where the name comes from | it only appeared in the twentieth century, from a misreading by Kinsey |
| Nice for | eye contact, plenty of skin contact, and hands that stay free |
| Where it works less well | whoever is on top carries weight, and the angle is finicky for deep stimulation |
Where the name comes from
Whatever the name suggests, no missionary ever prescribed this position. The encyclopedia calls it the most common sex position and notes that the word is no older than the twentieth century. Anthropologist Robert Priest showed in 2001 that the term came out of a misreading by Kinsey of Malinowski’s work, and only caught on in the late sixties and early seventies. An old ring on a young word, then.
Why people like the missionary position
The draw is in the face-to-face. You see each other, your skin lies against each other over the full length, and that makes it the position of closeness and eye contact above all. For a couple who wants connection over acrobatics, that is often exactly the payoff: you read each other’s reaction right away. The downside is that whoever is on top carries weight, and for deeper stimulation or certain bodies the angle is not always handy. Ordinary here does not mean boring, but it does mean this: a base the rest builds on.
What I notice in practice
I’m Victor, a gigolo. The missionary position gets underrated with me, precisely because it is so familiar. What women are after when they think they need something special turns out, again and again, to be simply being looked at while it happens. That is what this position can give like no other, and it makes the most ordinary position the most intimate one sometimes.
Where this fits on this site
If it is mostly about that closeness and being looked at, an evening of intimate togetherness fits it well. This page describes no more than the position; how an evening like that feels, you only find out together.
Sources
- Missionary positions: Christian, modernist, postmodernist. Robert J. Priest, Current Anthropology 42(1), 29-68, 2001. Provides that the term missionary position came out of a misreading by Kinsey of Malinowski and only caught on in the late sixties.
- Missionary position. Wikipedia. Provides the description as the most common sex position with the woman on her back and the man above, and the finding that the word is no older than the twentieth century.
Related terms
The missionary position is one of the sexual acts, the position most people picture for penetration.
- Sexual acts. The pillar: the wider category this position falls under.
- Spooning. The lying-down neighbor, with the emphasis on nestling rather than eye contact.
- G-spot. Why the angle of this position comes out just a bit too flat for some.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about the missionary position.
What is the missionary position?
The missionary position is the sex position where the woman lies on her back and the man on top of her, face to face, during penetration. It is the most common position for intercourse, known for the eye contact and the full skin contact.
Where does the name missionary position come from?
The name rests on a misunderstanding: no missionary ever prescribed this position. Anthropologist Robert Priest showed in 2001 that the term came out of a misreading by Kinsey of Malinowski’s work, and only caught on in the late sixties. The religious ring is younger than it seems.
Who can you turn to with questions about the missionary position?
Victor, a gigolo with about twenty-five years of experience and a background as a psychotherapist. He often notices that people underrate the most ordinary position, and he’ll think it through with you, no strings attached. You can ask him a question through the contact form or start by chatting for free.
Learn more
Still have questions about the missionary position?
I'm Victor, a gigolo. Whether it's the closeness you're after or the eye contact, you're welcome to ask. No obligation, I'll message you back whenever suits you.
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