Glossary
Hypersexuality
For anyone wondering whether a lot of desire for sex is a problem, or perfectly ordinary.
What is hypersexuality?
Hypersexuality (Dutch: hyperseksualiteit) is sexual behavior that feels compulsive and starts to get in the way of your life. In the ICD-11 it stands as compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, code 6C72. It isn’t about how much desire you have, but about the loss of control and the suffering that brings. A high libido is something else.
| Dutch term | hyperseksualiteit |
| Clinical name | in the ICD-11, compulsive sexual behaviour disorder (6C72) |
| What it is | compulsive sexual behavior you can’t keep in hand and that causes harm |
| Category | a condition that touches libido, but doesn’t coincide with it |
| Not the same as | a high libido, which just means a lot of desire without loss of control |
| How long | the ICD-11 says the complaints run for at least six months |
| Where to turn | your GP or a sexologist |
Hypersexuality versus a high libido
This is the difference that counts, and it often gets mixed up. A lot of desire for sex is not a condition. Hypersexuality is about loss of control. The World Health Organization describes compulsive sexual behaviour disorder as a persistent failure to control strong, recurring sexual impulses, so that the behavior keeps repeating and does harm in your life. The note accompanying the ICD-11 (Kraus et al., 2018) adds explicitly that suffering that comes only from a moral or religious judgment about your own sex is no grounds for the diagnosis. A lot of desire, happy and without harm, falls outside it. Someone with a high libido enjoys it and then gets on with the day. With hypersexuality it keeps going while you don’t really want it anymore, and that is exactly where the problem sits.
When it deserves help
It isn’t about a number of times a week. It’s about whether you still have it in hand. If you recognize that you keep seeking out sex or porn while it costs you your work, your relationship or your peace of mind, and stopping doesn’t work, that’s a reason to talk to a professional about it. That’s no judgment and no shame. Your GP or a sexologist can take a look and, where needed, refer you on. Often the first step is simply naming it: that you notice it’s costing you more than it gives. A sexologist treats this more often than you’d think, and usually looks first at what sits underneath, such as stress, shame or a hard stretch. This page only explains what the term means and gives no treatment advice.
Where this fits on my site
A lot of what people call “too much” is just a healthy, big desire, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If mostly you have desire and are looking for room to live it out, I’m the right place for that. If it feels instead like a compulsion you no longer steer, that belongs with a GP or sexologist, not with a date. What I do is on my services. If you doubt where you sit, ask first.
Sources
- 6C72 Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder. World Health Organization, ICD-11. Supplies that the disorder turns on a persistent failure to control strong, recurring sexual impulses, so that the behavior does harm.
- Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder in the ICD-11. S. W. Kraus et al., World Psychiatry, 2018. Supplies that the complaints run for at least six months and that suffering purely from moral disapproval is no grounds for the diagnosis.
Related terms
Hypersexuality touches libido, but doesn’t coincide with it: it’s about loss of control, not about how much desire you have.
- Libido. The pillar: your desire for sex, which can be high without anything being wrong.
- Fight-or-flight response. How stress and tension can drive your sexual behavior up or shut it down.
- Consent. Why control and agreement stay the core, even with a big desire.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about hypersexuality.
What is hypersexuality?
Hypersexuality is sexual behavior that feels compulsive and gets in the way of your life. In the ICD-11 it’s called compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, code 6C72. It’s about loss of control and the suffering that brings, not about how much desire you have.
Is hypersexuality the same as a high libido?
No. A high libido just means a lot of desire, without loss of control and without harm. Hypersexuality is about no longer being able to steer your behavior, so that it costs you your life. The ICD-11 adds that suffering purely from moral disapproval is no grounds for the diagnosis.
Who can you turn to with questions about hypersexuality?
If sex feels like a compulsion you no longer steer, that belongs with your GP or a sexologist. For ordinary, healthy desire and room to live it out, you can turn to Victor, a gigolo with a background as a psychotherapist, through the contact form or by chatting for free.
Learn more
Still have questions about hypersexuality?
I'm Victor, a gigolo. A lot of desire is perfectly ordinary and there's room for it. If it feels like a compulsion, I'd rather point you to a GP or sexologist. Ask your question with no obligation, and I'll text you back when it suits you.