Glossary
Handkerchief code
A colored handkerchief that gives away what you're after without a word being said.
What is the handkerchief code?
Handkerchief code, also called the hanky code, is a colored handkerchief in your back pocket that tells people without a word what you’re looking for. The color stands for the act, the pocket for the role: left is giving or dominant, right is receiving. The code grew out of the American leather scene of the 1970s.
| Short name | hanky code; the more common name, in the Netherlands too |
| Category | a form of flagging within leather culture |
| How it works | left = giving or dominant, right = receiving; the color names the act |
| Core of the colors | black heavy SM, gray bondage, light blue oral sex, dark blue anal sex, yellow watersports, red fisting |
| Today | mostly folklore; the logic lives on in profile icons |
Where the handkerchief code comes from
It’s an American custom. According to the English-language encyclopedia entry, the current practice took shape around 1970 and 1971 in New York, and it keeps its color meanings from The Leatherman’s Handbook II (1983). The Dutch entry notes it was widely used by gay and bisexual men through the 1970s. By now roughly a hundred and fifty colors have been attached to it, most of them as a joke.
Why the handkerchief code was used
The appeal was in showing without asking. At a time when saying out loud what you were after could be dangerous, a handkerchief showed it to anyone who knew the code and stayed unremarkable to everyone else. For the wearer that meant control: you chose what you showed. What the code didn’t do was arrange anything, because a color said what someone was looking for, not that they wanted it with you.
Where this fits on my site
If you recognize the urge to show what you want without saying it, that works the same way on a first date. The page about the BDSM date explains how such an evening is prepared and how we go over beforehand what you do and don’t want.
Sources
- Handkerchief code. Wikipedia. Supplies the color meanings from The Leatherman’s Handbook II (1983) and the origin around 1970 in New York.
- Hanky code. Wikipedia, Dutch-language. Supplies the working of left and right, the use by gay and bisexual men in the 1970s, and the note that by now roughly a hundred and fifty colors are attached to it.
Related terms
- Hanky code. The common short name, with the full color list and the history.
- Flagging. The broader idea of signaling without words, of which the handkerchief is one form.
- Scene. The community where a color only works if you know the agreement.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about the handkerchief code.
What is the handkerchief code?
The handkerchief code is a colored handkerchief in your back pocket that shows, without a word, what you are looking for. The color stands for the act, the pocket for the role, left giving or dominant, right receiving. The code comes from the American leather scene of the 1970s.
Is the handkerchief code the same as the hanky code?
Yes, they are the same thing. Handkerchief code is the full name; hanky code is the short, everyday one, since hanky is just the informal word for a handkerchief. The explanation, the colors and the history are on the page about the hanky code.
Who can you turn to with questions about the handkerchief code?
Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. Did you spot a color or a flag somewhere and want to know what it means? He explains it calmly. You can send a no-obligation message through the contact form or first chat for free.
Learn more
Still have questions about the handkerchief code?
I'm Victor. Did you spot a colored handkerchief or a flag somewhere and wonder what it says? Just ask. No obligation, and I'll message you back when it suits you.