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Glossary

Ethical slut

The word slut reclaimed as something positive, for whoever openly and honestly has multiple relationships.

What is an ethical slut?

An ethical slut is someone who openly and honestly has multiple sexual or romantic relationships, with the consent of everyone involved. The term comes from the book The Ethical Slut (1997) by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, which reclaims the word slut as something positive. It is one face of ethical non-monogamy.

Dutch termethical slut, used untranslated in Dutch, from the book of the same name
Categoryone face of ethical non-monogamy
Originthe book The Ethical Slut (1997) by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
Coremultiple relationships, open and honest, with everyone’s consent
Not to be confused withcheating: that happens in secret, without consent
Core conditionopenness and consent of everyone involved

Where the term comes from

The name comes from one book. According to the encyclopedia, The Ethical Slut, published in 1997 by Greenery Press, is a self-help book about non-monogamy by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. The book reclaims the word slut and gives it a meaning of its own: a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you. It is sometimes called “the poly bible.”

Why people call themselves an ethical slut

The appeal is in being allowed to have desire without shame. Whoever calls themselves an ethical slut chooses to be open about more than one bond, and to do that honestly and with consent instead of in secret. What the term does not take away is the work beneath it: openness about multiple relationships calls for agreements, and jealousy does not disappear on its own because you have a nice word for it.

Sources

  • Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy, The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities. Greenery Press, 1997. The book that introduced the term and reclaimed the word slut as something positive.
  • The Ethical Slut. Wikipedia. Provides the authors, the year 1997, publisher Greenery Press, and the description of the book as a self-help book about non-monogamy that reclaims the word slut.

Ethical slut is a variant of ethical non-monogamy, the broader agreement to openly and honestly have multiple relationships.

  • Ethical non-monogamy. The parent term: relationships with more than one person, with everyone’s consent, of which the ethical slut is one face.
  • Polyamory. Multiple love relationships at once, one of the forms an ethical slut can live.
  • Relationship anarchy. Relationships without a fixed rank, closely related to the thinking behind the book.
  • Non-monogamist. Whoever deliberately does not live monogamously, the broader group the ethical slut belongs to.
  • Swinging. Sex with others as a couple, another form within ethical non-monogamy.

Frequently asked questions

What people still ask about an ethical slut.

  1. What is an ethical slut?

    An ethical slut is someone who openly and honestly has multiple sexual or romantic relationships, with the consent of everyone involved. The term comes from the book The Ethical Slut (1997) by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. An ethical slut is one face of ethical non-monogamy.

  2. Is an ethical slut the same as cheating?

    No, an ethical slut is not the same as cheating: the difference is openness and consent. An ethical slut has multiple relationships in full view of everyone concerned, while cheating happens in secret. That honesty is exactly what the word ethical means.

  3. Who can you turn to with questions about an ethical slut?

    To Victor, gigolo with about twenty-five years of BDSM experience and a background as a psychotherapist. He regularly talks with women who openly and honestly have more than one bond and will think along with you, no strings attached. You can ask him a question through the contact form or first chat for free.

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I'm Victor, gigolo. I regularly talk with women who openly and honestly have more than one bond. Want to talk about it? Ask your question with no obligation, none attached, and I'll text you back whenever it suits you.

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