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Glossary

Sex toy

What a sex toy is, which material is body-safe, and how you keep it clean.

What is a sex toy?

A sex toy is a catch-all for objects you use during sex to increase arousal or pleasure: vibrators, dildos, plugs, clamps, and rings. The material decides how safe and hygienic a toy is. Porous materials hold on to bacteria, non-porous ones don’t, and that difference matters more than the shape or the price.

In Dutchseksspeeltje
Also known assex toy, toy
What it iscatch-all for objects that increase arousal or pleasure
Body-safe materialsilicone, glass, and metal: non-porous and easy to clean
Material to avoidjelly, PVC, and TPE: porous and can contain phthalates
Falls underkink

How a sex toy looks in practice

Most people start with a vibrator or a dildo, and only later does the penny drop that the material matters more than the model. Take two seemingly identical dildos: one of medical-grade silicone, the other of soft jelly. The first you boil out or throw in the dishwasher, the second stays a little “dirty” after every cleaning, because the material has microscopic holes. According to the SHE Health Clinics, that’s exactly why porous toys are barely for sale anymore: bacteria nest in the uneven surface, and that can cause a vaginal infection, bacterial vaginosis, or a bladder infection.

Why the material matters so much

Porosity is the core. A non-porous material has a smooth, closed surface you can actually get clean; a porous material doesn’t. Silicone, glass, and stainless steel therefore count as body-safe, according to both the SHE Health Clinics and telehealth provider Wisp. Soft materials like jelly, PVC, and TPE are porous and can also contain phthalates, plasticizers that make plastic supple. That’s no detail: a peer-reviewed overview by Hlisníková and colleagues (2020) describes phthalates as ubiquitous plasticizers you’re exposed to among other things through the skin, and that in research are linked to disruptions of reproduction.

What a good toy gives you

The most obvious thing is pleasure on your own terms: a vibrator makes an orgasm easier and more reliable for many women, alone or together. On top of that, there’s something reassuring about a toy you can clean without worry. For you, body-safe material means you don’t have to worry about an infection afterward. For the two of you together it means a shared toy doesn’t become a hassle, as long as you clean it in between or put a condom over it. What it does not do: a toy doesn’t replace attention or attunement. It’s a tool, not a shortcut to a good meeting.

What you can do yourself

  • Choose silicone, glass, or metal. That’s the non-porous material you can actually get clean.
  • Clean it before and after every use with warm water and mild, fragrance-free soap, the SHE Health Clinics advises. Avoid antibacterial wipes, they leave residue behind.
  • Never share a toy unwashed with someone else, and when in doubt use a condom over the toy.
  • Unsure about the material? If it smells chemical or feels sticky, it’s probably porous. Replace it.

What a sex toy is not

“More expensive is always safer.” Not necessarily. It’s about the material, not the price. A cheap glass toy is more body-safe than an expensive one of jelly.

“Cleaning is optional with solo use.” Even alone you can move bacteria around. The SHE Health Clinics links poor hygiene to bladder and vaginal infections.

What I see myself

As a gigolo I do this work, and toys sometimes come up, sometimes not. What I notice: women wonder more often whether something is “weird” than whether something is safe, while the second should be the question. I’m not a doctor, but hygiene and material are no side issue with me. A toy you can’t really get clean doesn’t belong here as far as I’m concerned. The rest, what you enjoy, is up to you.

Further reading

  • Toy hygiene goes deeper into cleaning and storing your toys.
  • Safer sex explains why a condom over a shared toy belongs with protection.

Where this fits on this site

I don’t sell toys and I don’t give product advice. What I do is work in a way where hygiene and your boundary are a matter of course. Curious how a meeting goes and what gets agreed beforehand? Then take a look at intimate togetherness. You can always call or message me first, without promising anything.

Sources

  • Kink. Toys are often the tool that makes kink concrete.
  • Toy hygiene. Exactly the cleaning and storage side of this term.
  • Safer sex. A condom over a shared toy belongs with protection.
  • Sexual response cycle. Why a vibrator makes arousal and orgasm easier for many people.

Frequently asked questions

Questions about this term

  1. What is a sex toy?

    A sex toy is a catch-all for objects you use during sex to increase arousal or pleasure, such as a vibrator, dildo, plug, clamp, or ring. The material decides how safe and hygienic a toy is: porous materials hold on to bacteria, non-porous ones don’t.

  2. Which material for a sex toy is body-safe?

    Silicone, glass, and stainless steel are body-safe, because they’re non-porous and so can actually be cleaned. Avoid jelly, PVC, and TPE: those are porous and can contain phthalates, plasticizers that in research are linked to disruptions of reproduction. If a toy smells chemical or feels sticky, it’s probably porous.

  3. How do you clean a sex toy?

    Clean a sex toy before and after every use with warm water and mild, fragrance-free soap, the SHE Health Clinics advises. A non-porous silicone toy can often also go in boiling water or the dishwasher, as long as there’s no motor in it. Avoid antibacterial wipes, and never share a toy unwashed.

  4. Who can you turn to with questions about sex toys?

    For the medical side, like an infection or an allergic reaction, your family doctor or a Centrum Seksuele Gezondheid is the right address. I myself am Victor, a gigolo, not a doctor, but I’m glad to talk about how a meeting goes where hygiene and your boundary are a matter of course, with no obligation or through chatting for free.

Learn more

Still have questions about sex toys?

I'm Victor, a gigolo, not a doctor. The medical side belongs with your family doctor, but a meeting where hygiene and your boundary are a matter of course is exactly how I work. Curious how that goes? Feel free to write me, and I'll pick it up calmly.

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