Glossary
Relationship diversity
The recognition that the monogamous, lifelong relationship is a choice, not the only measure.
What is relationship diversity?
Relationship diversity is the recognition that many valid relationship forms exist side by side, from monogamy to polyamory, and that none of them is the only right one. It is the opposite of the assumption that the monogamous, lifelong relationship is the norm the rest is measured against. It is about recognition, not about prescribing.
| In Dutch | relatiediversiteit |
| What it is | the recognition that many valid relationship forms exist side by side |
| What it’s about | the variety of relationship forms, not one of them |
| Category | a social concept around ethical non-monogamy and beyond |
| Support | research finds no difference in satisfaction between the forms |
| Key point | diversity is about recognizing, not about anything being allowed |
What relationship diversity rests on
The idea leans on two things the research shows. First, that relationships have long stopped fitting one mold: Morar-Bolba and colleagues argue for not looking at the relationship as a twosome by default, because structures exist alongside it. Second, that no form outdoes the other: the meta-analysis by Anderson and colleagues brought together 35 studies with 24,489 people in total and found no difference in relationship satisfaction or sexual satisfaction between monogamous and non-monogamous people. Relationship diversity is the sober conclusion from that: if one form doesn’t win over the other, there is no reason to make one the measure.
Why relationship diversity matters
The gain of the concept is that it takes away shame. Anyone who doesn’t feel at home in the standard picture discovers that the form is not lesser, only different. For you it means you don’t have to defend your relationship against a norm that happens to be the loudest. For society, recognizing relationship diversity means less stigma around those who do it differently. What it is not: a free pass. That many forms are valid does not mean every form fits everyone or that agreements don’t matter. Diversity is about room, not about anything being allowed.
Where this fits on my site
However your relationship is shaped, with me you don’t have to explain or justify it. A date only fits within your own agreements, and that is exactly as it should be. How I go over that beforehand is on the page about my services. Sounding it out first is always fine, and that commits you to nothing.
Sources
- Countering the Monogamy-Superiority Myth. Joel R. Anderson et al., The Journal of Sex Research 63(1), 130-142, 2026 (DOI 10.1080/00224499.2025.2462988). Gives that a meta-analysis over 35 studies with 24,489 participants in total found no difference in relationship satisfaction or sexual satisfaction between monogamous and non-monogamous people.
- Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM). Considering Sexual Minorities and Moving Away from a Dyadic Conceptualization. Dora Morar-Bolba, Rainer Banse & Terri D. Conley, International Journal of Sexual Health 38(1), 2026. Gives the argument for not looking at relationships as a twosome by default, because other structures exist alongside it.
Related terms
Relationship diversity is about the variety; the terms below are the forms and the context.
- Relationship structure. The structure of one relationship, of which relationship diversity is the variety.
- Ethical non-monogamy. The umbrella for the forms with more than one partner.
- Relationship escalator. The standard path relationship diversity puts in perspective.
- Monogamy. One of the many valid forms, not the only measure.
Frequently asked questions
Questions about this term
What is relationship diversity?
Relationship diversity is the recognition that many valid relationship forms exist side by side, from monogamy to polyamory, and that none of them is the only right one. It is the opposite of the assumption that the monogamous, lifelong relationship is the norm. It is about recognition, not about prescribing.
Is one relationship form better than another?
The research says no. A meta-analysis by Anderson and colleagues over 35 studies with 24,489 people in total found no difference in relationship satisfaction or sexual satisfaction between monogamous and non-monogamous people. That doesn’t mean every form fits everyone, but it does mean there is no reason to make one form the measure.
Who can you turn to with questions about relationship diversity?
Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience and a background as a psychotherapist. However your relationship is shaped, with Victor you don’t have to justify it, and he’ll think along about how a date fits within your agreements. Ask your question through the contact form or chat for free first.
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Still have questions about relationship diversity?
I'm Victor, a gigolo with a background as a psychotherapist. However your relationship is shaped, with me you don't have to explain or justify it. A date only fits within your own agreements. Curious how that goes? Leave me a message and I'll look at it with you.