Glossary
Hotel fantasy
For anyone who keeps coming back to the image of a strange room, and wants to know where that arousal comes from.
What is a hotel fantasy?
A hotel fantasy is a sexual fantasy that turns on the anonymity of a room outside your own life. A place without history, where you can briefly be someone else. The arousal sits in being cut loose from your everyday role, not in the hotel itself. Often a stranger or half-stranger plays a part in it.
| In research | a fantasy around novelty and an unfamiliar partner |
| Also known as | the anonymous-room fantasy |
| Category | a kink or recurring fantasy, not an act |
| Where the kick sits | anonymity and getting loose from who you are at home |
| Difference from a hotel date | a hotel date is a real appointment; a hotel fantasy plays out in your head |
| The core | a room outside your own life, where for a moment nothing counts |
Where the arousal comes from
A hotel fantasy works because a strange room loosens you from your role. At home you’re a mother, colleague, neighbor. In a room that belongs to no one, you’re briefly none of those, and that’s exactly what makes room for desire. Fantasies like these are anything but rare. In a large study of what people fantasize about, Joyal and colleagues (2015) found that the place and the atmosphere, and sex with someone outside the steady relationship, are among the most common fantasies. Fantasies with a stranger are common too. So the anonymity isn’t some odd edge case, but one of the most ordinary ingredients.
What a hotel fantasy gives
It gives you a safe way out of your own life. In your head, or in an agreed scene, you can try something without it having consequences for your ordinary day. For many women the relief sits there: to not be the one who arranges everything for once. What it isn’t is cheating or a double life. A fantasy is a place to play, and what you do with it, from only thinking about it to actually acting it out, is up to you.
Where this fits on my site
Do you want to really live such a scene once, in a room where you get to be someone else for a while? Then I can set it up with you. We agree beforehand how far it goes, so the anonymity stays exciting and safe. How that works is on my services. Asking something first is always fine, no obligation.
Sources
- What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy?. C. C. Joyal, A. Cossette and V. Lapierre, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2015. Supplies that fantasies about place and atmosphere, and about sex with someone outside the steady relationship, are among the most common.
- Sexual fantasy. Wikipedia. Supplies that fantasies with an unfamiliar partner are common and widespread.
Related terms
A hotel fantasy is a form of kink, the broader field of preferences and fantasies that stray off the beaten track.
- Kink. The pillar: what fantasies like this fall under.
- Roleplay. The way to really stage such a fantasy together, with agreed roles.
- Hotel date. The real appointment in a hotel, as opposed to the fantasy that plays out in your head.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about a hotel fantasy.
What is a hotel fantasy?
A hotel fantasy is a sexual fantasy that turns on the anonymity of a room outside your own life, a place without history where you can briefly be someone else. The arousal sits in getting loose from your everyday role, not in the hotel itself.
Is a hotel fantasy normal?
Yes. Research by Joyal and colleagues shows that fantasies about the place, the atmosphere and about sex with someone outside the steady relationship are among the most common. So the anonymous room isn’t some odd edge case, but one of the most ordinary ingredients of a fantasy.
Who can you turn to with questions about a hotel fantasy?
Victor, a gigolo with about twenty-five years of BDSM experience and a background as a psychotherapist. Staging such a scene safely and with clear agreements is exactly what he does. You can ask him a question through the contact form or first chat for free.
Learn more
Still have questions about a hotel fantasy?
I'm Victor, a gigolo. Actually staging such a scene, in a room where you get to be someone else for a while, is something I'm glad to do with you. Ask your question, no obligation, and I'll message you back whenever suits you.