Glossary
Forced bi
A kink about surrender where 'forced' is the erotic charge, not real coercion.
What is forced bi?
Forced bi (in full forced bisexual) is a scenario where a dominant partner has a submissive man have sexual contact with another man. The ‘forced’ part is play: the whole scene is agreed in advance. Forced bi belongs to the kinks around cuckolding and humiliation, and always runs on consent.
| English term | forced bisexual, abbreviated forced bi; used untranslated |
| Category | a scenario within BDSM, often alongside cuckolding |
| What it is | a dominant partner has a submissive man make contact with another man |
| The ‘forced’ part | role-play, agreed in advance; a form of consensual non-consent |
| Related to | cuckolding, femdom and humiliation |
| Key point | everything on consent; ‘forced’ is play, not real coercion |
How forced bi works
In forced bi the dominant partner gives the order, but the force is staged. It is a form of consensual non-consent: according to clinical psychologist Chelsea Twiss, such a scene plays out as if it were non-consensual, while the roles and limits are exactly what was talked through beforehand. The submissive man has said yes to precisely this, and a safeword or agreed signal stops it at any moment. The word ‘forced’ describes the erotic charge, not real coercion. What happens is set in advance by the people who do it together. A typical scene looks like this: she agrees with him beforehand what is and is not allowed, and during the play she acts as if she is forcing him into it, while he can call it off at any moment.
Why people like it
The appeal lies in the arousal of ‘having to’. For the submissive man, handing over control gives a kick, and the forced framing makes room to explore bisexual curiosity without having to ask for it himself. Forced bi belongs to the family of cuckolding kinks. Justin Lehmiller, David Ley and Dan Savage showed in Archives of Sexual Behavior (2018) that cuckolding fantasies are usually consensual and can turn out well, depending on someone’s personality and attachment. It stays play, start to finish. Forced bi is not a way to push an orientation onto someone or to pressure them, and the moment the force becomes real, it is no longer forced bi but a violation of limits.
Sources
- The psychology of gay men’s cuckolding fantasies. Justin J. Lehmiller, David Ley and Dan Savage, Archives of Sexual Behavior 47(4), 999-1013, 2018. Shows that cuckolding fantasies, the family forced bi belongs to, are usually consensual and can turn out well.
Related terms
Forced bi is a scenario within BDSM, the world of power play and surrender.
- BDSM. The pillar: power play with consent, and forced bi is a scenario within it.
- Cuckolding. The nearest family: forced bi is often named in the same scene.
- Femdom. The dynamic in which a dominant woman often gives the order.
- Consent. The agreement beforehand that makes the difference between play and a violation of limits.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about forced bi.
What is forced bi?
Forced bi is a scenario where a dominant partner has a submissive man have sexual contact with another man. The forced part is play: the whole scene is agreed in advance. Forced bi belongs to the kinks around cuckolding and always runs on consent.
Is forced bi really forced?
No. The word ‘forced’ describes the erotic charge, not real coercion. Forced bi is a form of consensual non-consent: it plays out as if it were non-consensual, while the roles and limits were talked through beforehand. The submissive man has said yes to precisely this, and a safeword stops it at any moment.
Who can you turn to with questions about forced bi?
Victor. A gigolo with roughly twenty-five years of experience in BDSM and a background as a psychotherapist. Forced bi is not part of what he offers, but he explains without judgment how consensual non-consent works and where the play stops. You can ask him a question through the contact form or first chat for free.
Learn more
Still have questions about forced bi?
I am Victor, a gigolo with a background as a psychotherapist. Forced bi is not part of what I do, but I explain without judgment how staged force and consent go together. Ask your question, no obligation, and I text you back when it suits you.